Hope You Noticed

Ever since Alex Rodriguez joined the Yankees I have had a strong dislike for him. Leaving the Mariners to play for another bad team and make $252M didn't really bother me. None of us would think twice about leaving our current job to get paid twice as much even if it was cleaning bathrooms. Okay, maybe that's just me. When A-Rod decided to jump ship with the Rangers and find a team that wins more than it loses I lost all respect for the guy. Now I'm not afraid to admit that if he left the Rangers for, say, the Dodgers I might feel differently. But that is neither here nor there. The basic point is that Rodriguez could have gone down as the greatest player ever and instead will be looked at as a complete moron. And classifying him as such does not even take into account his dating Madonna about 20 years after it would have been a good idea. About 18 months ago, I decided to make public my views on A-Rod. Basically, my thinking went like this:

1. I think A-Rod is a loser and I don't like him.
2. He hits a lot of home runs.
3. He has gotten quite a bit bigger since his rookie year. (I realize he was only a teenager.)
4. Everyone but Griffey, Jr. (the only true natural) has been busted for steroids.
5. A-Rod doing steroids is something to think about.

Well, let's just say you can do more than think about A-Rod doing the juice. The knowledge of Jose Canseco continues to amaze. What all of this tells me is if you were a player I liked/admired before joining the Yankees, limit how many times you pee in a cup. A-Rod makes three now (Giambi and Clemens, the others) that I used to like then started to strongly dislike immediately after they turned their manhood over to Steinbrenner. Lucky f0r Mark Teixeira I haven't really been a fan of his so he can sleep well tonight.

One last thing. Don't let anyone convince you the MLBPA union is to blame for A-Rod's mess. He took steroids, end of story. Mark this on your calendars because I never take the side of unions.

Where's The Love For Griffey?

A week ago I was able to go with some friends to the Oakland A's vs. Chicago White Sox game. It was a great time had by all. We took the train from Sacramento to McAfee Coliseum (it's name may have changed since then), which was incredibly convenient and since no one needed to drive you can imagine what happened on the train. The game got off to an incredible start because we were one of the first 10,000 fans in the building, which meant we received a Dave Henderson jersey. To my surprise it was not a t-shirt but an actual button-down jersey. The only thing that could have been improved was that both sides of the shirt had the "e" so if it was really hot (it was) and you decided not to button the jersey it said "Athleetics". Oh well. Some other observations:

A's trades - Most A's fans are tired of all of the trades. This year has been especially hard to handle with Billy Beane trading the entire pitching staff. When a kid threw out the first pitch everyone pleaded for Beane to sign him up and not trade him. Same was said if anybody made a play on a foul ball in the stands.

I'm old - I was sitting next to some 8 or 9-year-olds and their favorite player was Jermaine Dye. It never occurred to me until then that those kids have not been around long enough for Ken Griffey, Jr. to be their favorite player. I had to try to explain to them that if they were my age they would have no other reason but to love Griffey (the only clean slugger of his generation).

Chavez brother - Eric Chavez has a brother that hit two home runs against my high school team in a Spring Break tournament way back when (see above). Well, now he is the bullpen catcher for the A's. Apparently Eric pays his salary and he gets to pretend he is a major league baseball player. This was the first time I ever wished I was not the oldest child.

Cal fans - I was with one guy that has Cal Bears football season tickets. We had a great time ribbing each other. I probably would not have been so liberal with my trash-talk had I known the Ducks' starting quarterback was going to have a secretive injury but I'll take the heat if I have to. Back to Cal fans. The guy I was with yelled, "Go Bears" to a fan sitting behind him and got nothing. It was as if he had forgotten he was wearing a Cal hat and shirt. Then on BART the same situation happened. I suppose that is why Cal football sucks. The fans are too busy trying to win Nobel Peace Prizes and whatever else Cal folks do to care about something as important as football.

Hammer pants - The best moment of the game was the die-hard A's fan sitting in the first row of the leftfield bleachers (we were in about row 8) wearing A's Hammer pants. I suppose since M.C. Hammer is from Oakland that those pants are acceptable. What is not acceptable is that this die-hard fan that looked a lot like he was homeless (long hair, scraggly beard, aforementioned Hammer pants, waved a giant A's flag, etc.) dropped a home run ball that was right to him. To top it off he tried to use his hat to catch the ball and both the ball and hat ended up on the other side of the fence. Needless to say Hammer pants fan had food thrown at him and a drunk firefighter get in his face and berate him for dropping the ball. I felt bad for him but that did not stop me from laughing.

Short game - After seeing the White Sox score eight runs in three innings we decided to leave the game. That certainly is the earliest I have ever left an event of any kind but it was a good decision. The A's ended up losing by about two touchdowns.

Best homeless sign - I spent eight years in Eugene so I consider myself an expert on homeless signs. In fact, I saw more homeless signs than hot girls but that just means there were a lot of signs. As we left the ball game to head to San Francisco for the rest of the afternoon (imagine 12 guys walking through the city with the same A's jersey, it was hilarious) we passed a homeless gentleman with the following sign: "Family kidnapped by ninjas, need money for karate lessons!"

An All-Star Performance

I hate to embarrass people that are far better than I at a sport I played for my entire childhood but Dan Uggla deserves it. The game is no over (only the top of the 15th) but he has had an unforgettable night. Rarely does someone play in an All-Star Game long enough to pull off the double that Uggla has tonight. To this point he has three errors and three strikeouts. His errors were brutal. If I did not know any better I would guess he is a DH but since he plays in the National League I am left to assume he actually plays second base on a regular basis. As for the strikeouts, I do not think he has swung at a single pitch that was actually in the strike zone. Luckily for Uggla (oddly enough "uggla" is norwegian for "ugly") he came in the game in the 6th or 7th inning so much of the country has been asleep for his unprecedented performance.

(Photo from NL Beast.)

Jeter Is Bush League

Anyone with a brain realizes Derek Jeter is a fabrication of the media. There is no need for me to delve further into this because those people that allow the media to dictate what they believe cannot be convinced of the truth. Tonight's All-Star Game was an excellent example of Jeter's incompetence. A review of his night at the plate resembles a typical night for "the great one."

In his first at-bat he slapped the ball (If you did not see it picture a 10-year-old girl playing softball) to 2nd base and Chase Utley misplayed it. In any other stadium or uniform Jeter would not have been credited with a hit but of course tonight he was. If you think I am being tough on the perfume-wearing shortstop then take a look at Dan Uggla's third error of the night in the bottom of the 13th. In Jeter's second at-bat with runners on he hit a tailor-made double play ball to shortstop. If I hit infield practice to a high school team for an entire season I would never be able to give the shortstop such a perfect ball to practice starting a double play. Then in his 3rd at-bat Jeter decided to pull off his signature move: a one-hopper to the pitcher. I have never been able to figure out how someone could be considered clutch for hitting very weak grounders up the middle. When I do that in summer softball games I get ridiculed by my teammates and rightfully so.

What really set me off tonight was a simple replay shown in the 6th inning. The announcers said nothing about it but that does not surprise me. Hanley Ramirez, without question baseball's best shortstop and it is not even close, was on first. Chase Utley hit a ball down the right-field line and as Ramirez was rounding second base Jeter went to second base acting like he was going to receive the ball to turn a double play. Since Ramirez is older than six he was not tricked but it showed the true Jeter. Contrary to what the media wants you to believe I am convinced Jeter is totally classless. He is all about himself and would be the friend that would not think twice about sleeping with your girlfriend/wife. Stay classy Jeter, all of the pathetic people that think the media is objective will make sure your image remains pristine.

Yankee Stadium Made The Babe

I have watched nearly every pitch of the marathon All-Star Game, which is in the 13th inning as I type. There have been more mentions of Yankee Stadium than outs in the game. I get that the stadium is old and the Yankees have played their home games in it but is it really that big of a deal that it is closing? Furthermore, does Joe Buck have to mention every 7th pitch that the stadium is closing after this year. I kid you not, my wife commented that she is sick and tired of hearing about this being the last season. She has watched no more than two innings of the game. Joe Buck has been jabbering so much about the archaic structure that I am beginning to think that the inanimate building is the reason that Babe Ruth exists and not the other way around.

Just because it is the home stadium for one of two teams that the media cares to talk about does not mean we have to talk about it incessantly. We are all smart enough to deduce that if Yankee Stadium is closing at the end of this year, this is the final All-Star Game being played there. Perhaps some of my anger directed at the blabber about this being the last year is that I am jealous. As an Oregon alum I have long wished the men's basketball were consistent enough that folks would decide a new arena is in order. It seems like it will happen but I'll believe it when the hippies get out of the way and let the structure be built.

Oakland A's vs. Boston Red Sox Live Blog

Well, due to a new member in the family my life has been completely flipped upside down. As a result, I am able to live blog the first game of the 2008 MLB season. The battle in Japan that is starting at 3:00am PDT. Here we go:

Middle 1st: If anyone is wondering I have not packed on the pounds in the same way Daisuke Matsuzaka has since playing a role in the conception of a child. Not real sure American food is agreeing with him and I know the mullet is not. Holy Crap! The baby has decided to fall asleep so this may go down as the shortest live blog in history. Do not worry though, there is no way I will be sleeping for the remaining 8.5 innings so I should be back.

Top 1st: Holy Crap! The names of the players are in Japanese on the scoreboard. This shouldn't surprise me since the game is in Japan but I did not know Ramirez had a Japanese translation. Joe Blanton is throwing the first pitch, kind of wish he was wearing Dodger blue. Dustin Pedroia starts things off with a single up the middle. I played against him in high school so I do have a soft spot in my heart for him. Ortiz swung at the first pitch and popped out to third. If I was a member of the stupidest group ever, Red Sox Nation, I would be very worried about that. Uh Oh! Ramirez also popped out. Epstein better appease Boston and trade for some middle of the lineup power immediately.

Pregame: I have a new found hate for the Red Sox since they have become the new Yankees and a ton of people I work with are Red Sox fans so I am pulling hard for the A's. The fact that their AAA team resides in the hometown has made them a favorite team of mine anyway.

Mr. Smith Goes To Washington

Apologies for the tacky title but it is appropriate. Many people probably watched the hearings today involving Roger Clemens and wondered who on earth is telling the truth. I, on the otherhand, wondered why all of the talking heads asking questions were so old. After seeing the U.S. Representatives in all of their shining glory I am certain I can be one. Not in 30 years, but tomorrow. Not a single one of them was overly impressive and none of them struck me as having any idea what the hell was going on. I’m sure friends of politicians want to tell me that sports are not their cup of tea and they are experts on other things but I don’t want to hear any of it. Taxpayers and voters elect these folks to have their acts together and do research if needed. Whether you think Congress should be grilling baseball players is up for debate but when a representative has a couple of weeks to get ready I should not here one of the blue hairs, Paul E. Kanjorski (D-PA), wonder who went to Joe-see Can-sucko’s party.

In addition to screwing up the name of a player that has actually given testimony more than once, Kanjorski was lame. Instead of asking Clemens or McNamee a question he chickened out and asked Scheeler of the Mitchell Report some questions. In addition to asking the one guy present that did not need to answer any questions, Kanjorski was asking Scheeler questions that did not pertain to him. Kanjorski wanted Scheeler to describe inconsistencies in the Mitchell Report. The only problem was that the inconsistencies were a result of what was in the Mitchell Report and what was in a sworn deposition after the Mitchell Report came out. Kanjorski time for you to retire, you are terrible at reading and need to learn how to create a timeline so you don’t look like a buffoon.

Then we had Dan Burton (R-IN) get on his high horse and give a heartfelt story on how he felt Clemens was a titan in baseball and McNamee is the scum of the earth. Burton didn’t really get many questions out during his time but he had no reason to use the microphone due to his loud and emotional plea. His love for Clemens was a bit over the top even when it’s this close to Valentine’s Day. I do know that if I were a lobbyist on Capitol Hill, Burton would be my first target. All I need to do is take him out for lunch or pay for his commute on the Metro and he’ll sell his firstborn for my cause.

Tom Davis (R-VA) really got on my nerves. He had a starring role, in addition to being Clemens’ third attorney, because he was co-chairman or something. I realize that politicians as a rule are slick and probably sleazy but I got the impression he was in the front of that line. Davis knew he was going to be on TV a lot, probably because he loved Clemens so much, so he sported a pinstriped suit. I generally have nothing against pinstriped or attention-grabbing suits (see my Senior Ball outfit) but in this case he did not need to be or try to be the show. Just show up in a dark suit like everyone else and get to the bottom of the PED issue in baseball. Hey Davis, you’re not there to look like an NBA player or a nominee at the Grammy’s.

One of these days I’m going to consider putting my hat in the ring. I know how to read, do research and work my balls off. Aside from not having any money or the desire to be a sellout to any one political party or cause I think I’m perfect for a position in Congress. Well, I would also have to move because the letter after my name would make people in my current district want to get syphilis before voting for me but maybe I’ll just throw an ‘I’ after my name to make it work.

The Mitchell Report

Just when I was getting ready to put the finishing touches on my presidential choices former Senator George Mitchell got behind the mic and released his findings. I didn't take the time to read the 400+ pages. For me, The Mitchell Report is of interest because I wanted to see the names. When I saw that over 80 names were included I felt I should see which team had the most accusers. What I did was use the fine statistical resource, Baseball-Reference, to find out which teams each player listed has played for over the course of his career. This only includes team played for through the 2007 season. I realize that in many cases the player may not have used performance enhancing drugs while on the team but go along with me here. It was hard enough trying to chart all of the names and teams, let alone read The Mitchell Report and figure out when they supposedly took the drugs. Now, I did not double-check the teams I marked for each and every player so it's reasonable to assume there are some inaccuracies. I assume the numbers to be fairly accurate though. Without any further ado, here is the list:

22 NYY
18 BAL
16 LAA, NYM
15 CIN, LAD, SD, TEX
13 BOS, CLE, SF
12 FLA, KC
11 ATL, CHI(N), COL, OAK, PIT
10 ARI, PHI, SEA, STL, TOR, WAS
9 MIL
8 HOU
7 DET, TB
5 MIN
4 CHI(A)

It certainly made my day when I counted the tallies and the Yankees showed up at the top. My disdain for the Yankees is obvious so I was fired up to see they have paid more players on the list to wear their uniform than any other team. To be honest the teams that suprised me most were the Mets, Giants and A's. I figured since the Mets former clubhouse slappy, Kirk Radomski, and BALCO (located in the Bay Area) were major players in this saga that those teams would be leading the charge. I didn't do anymore statistical analysis than what is shown above but a quick glance at the list does tell me one thing, I think. The top part of the list is dominated by teams along the East and West Coasts. The bottom of the list seems to consist of teams in between. I'm not sure what this means but it is interesting.

The only thing I conclude from the names provided is that performance enhancing drugs were a big deal in baseball. There is no way this is close to an exhaustive list of names. If somehow we had access to all the names that ever cheated in this way it wouldn't surprise me if every team had just about the same number of offenders.

My last point on The Mitchell Report is that no matter how much people want to bad mouth MLB for steroids and this report at least they are doing something. Everyone wants to pile on MLB for turning a blind eye and putting this report together without subpoena power. I ask you, what's the NFL doing? Players are being suspended on a weekly basis and when they return it's as if nothing happened. Whenever Barry Bonds plays all the announcers can talk about is steroids. When Rodney Harrison plays all they talk about is how much he loves the game. When Shawne Merriman plays all they talk about is how dominant he is and that he has really cool commercials.

Whether the media, public or both has forced MLB's hand I can't say. You never see MLB praising the virtues of its players that have tested positive. If the NFL doesn't watch out they are going to wish they learned from the backlash MLB received from steroids. Since the NFL is the most arrogant pro league in American sports they probably won't. They will feel really foolish when it happens because they had MLB's debacle as a chance to learn a lesson.

Boras Has Last Laugh

Ripping on Scott Boras has been the chic thing to do this offseason. He announces that A-Rod is going to be a free agent in the 4th game of the World Series so everyone gets their panties in a bunch. Everyone seems to have forgotten his announcement was the highlight of the most boring World Series ever. Additionally, the media is to blame for the whole thing. Boras did not force them to announce it during the game, Fox just knew the World Series sucked and they needed some reason for people to watch. But I think I have already gone over this so I'll move on.

For about a week the press and all of baseball wanted to rip Boras for having A-Rod opt out of a contract that guaranteed him $27M+ per year. At that point the 'rebuilding' Yankees, Hank Steinbrenner's words not mine, were not going to negotiate with A-Rod. They were offended that a player would want to become a free agent. I mean who could blame them, they've built their team on homegrown talent and routinely lose their best young players to other teams that pay them more.

It was repeated over and over, "Boras has overestimated the market for A-Rod." The thought was if the Yankees aren't one of the bidders there is no way A-Rod was going to get his $300M. Well, guess who was the genius after all and called the Yankees' bluff? Why it was none other than the horrible agent himself, Scott Boras. It doesn't matter at all that the Yankees asked that Boras need not be present at the negotiations. I suppose they were mad about having to deal with Boras and not that A-Rod wanted to get paid after all. As far as I'm concerned Boras did a great job of handling the opt out for A-Rod. Whether Boras was at the bargaining table or not, his client appears to be getting the $300M contract he promised.

My last point on the rumored A-Rod deal is that because the Yankees are the team he signed with nobody is talking about how this will ruin baseball. No one is talking about the foolishness of the Yankees for bidding against themselves for A-Rod. These are things that were said about the Rangers when they signed A-Rod seven years ago. I suppose it's a double standard when the media's favorite team is the one being duped by Boras and the greatest hitter of this generation. I'm not sure signing with the Yankees for so much will get A-Rod his World Series ring since the team is keeping everybody that has melted down in the playoffs. It will get him a lot of notoriety and an excellent chance to break Bonds' record though, which is all we could ask for.

(Picture of Scott Boras from Jamie Rector/New York Times.)

Following Grady Little

It has been no more than 15 minutes since I commented on my desire for Joe Torre to manage the Dodgers. Well, I don't have to wish anymore. As I watch SportsCenter right now Tony Jackson of the LA Daily News is telling me that Torre is the new manager of the Dodgers. That really pumps me up for next baseball season already. It certainly lifts my spirits after the Broncos fubar tonight. As much as I despise the Red Sox the Dodgers seem to be following their plan. Hire Grady Little for a couple of years. Have him do a decent job then get rid of him for someone better. I am such a homer. Only 30 minutes ago Joe Torre was the most overrated manager and now I am sizing him up for a World Series ring. I can't say it enough, if Torre fixes the Dodgers he should receive a Congressional Medal. As my dad would say, "Yipee!"

(Photo from Rick Chapman.)

Random Thoughts

There are quite a few things happening right now so I figure some commentary is appropriate.

1. The Oregon vs. ASU football this game is being televised by 3 networks. That is how stupid the Pac-10 and its administrators are. What other game in the history of the world needs 3 networks to broadcast a matchup of the #4 and #5 teams to ensure the game is seen by everyone? The game can be seen on FSN Arizona in Arizona, OSN in Oregon and ESPN everywhere else. Let's just say if I wasn't going to the game I would wish I lived 'everywhere else' so I could watch a broadcast of top-notch quality.

2. Brett Favre and the Packers just ripped the heart out of my beloved Broncos. The Broncos are not very good this year but a win tonight would have kept them in the thick of the playoff race. Some will claim sour grapes but tonight's game proves the AFC is vastly superior to the NFC. Denver is an also-ran in the AFC and Green Bay (coming off a bye week) has the best record in the NFC. This further proves my point that the Seahawks only became good after they were traded by the AFC to the hapless NFC. Oh well, Cutler looked decent tonight and maybe a high draft pick can help the pass rush.

3. I spent this entire year telling Red Sox fans at the workplace that the Red Sox are the new Yankees. They spent an ungodly amount of money on payroll this year and it paid off for them. I suspect the strategy of buying players like the Red Sox have done and the overzealous nature of Red Sox Nation are going to turn people off to the Red Sox. Just because 3-4 guys on the roster came up through the farm system does not mean the Red Sox are a homegrown team. As I recall that is roughly the same number the Yankees have had over time. Also, the number of East Coast people here on the West Coast has grown exponentially the last few years. Maybe it's because I now live in Oregon where everybody is a transplant but I find it hard to believe these people have been Red Sox fans for an extended period of time. I had one guy tell me today that because he is from Connecticut (not sure how long ago) he likes the Red Sox and Yankees, and in particular the Red Sox today. Unbelievable!

4. Everyone loves to hate Scott Boras. So it should come as no surprise that I like him. I think he is a smart guy and if I was a player I certainly wouldn't mind him on my side at the negotiation table. Boras is likely very successful because of his humble roots and his highly respected high school alma mater but that's just a guess. A lot of folks were upset with Boras today because he announced Alex Rodriguez becoming a free agent during last night's game. Personally, I saw nothing wrong with it. The World Series had been over for a few days so what was he supposed to wait for? Red Sox homer Peter Gammons wanted to jump off the Green Monster because it overshadowed the Red Sox win last night. For me it was the most pathetic World Series I have barely seen and I'm thankful Boras was able to spice it up a little bit.

5. I am not a fantasy sports geek. I don't spend money on premium services and only check my team once a week to make sure I have players playing at every position. With that said, I cannot stand Norv (Norville, Norvelle, Norval, Norvel or whatever he wants to be called) Turner. He is killing my fantasy team by disrespecting LaDanian Tomlinson. It is rumored that friends of Turner read this blog every now and then so they will take offense to my thoughts but I could care less.

6. There is no reason to keep any secrets. The first meaningful post on this blog explained how Joe Torre was overrated and needed to be fired by the Yankees. I still believe that to be true but I sure wouldn't mind seeing him prove me wrong in a Dodgers uniform. Rumors are flying that the Dodgers may be interested in hiring Torre. I say why not? If he can turn around the debacle that is the Dodgers clubhouse then I will be forced to change my tune.

7. Lastly, the NBA season starts tomorrow and I don't care so don't expect too much analysis from me.

The AL East's Minor League

I have heard and read talk that the NLCS between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks is terrible for baseball. Apparently nobody knows anything about these teams and as a result TV ratings will suffer. Additionally, these teams are from the West and people on the East Coast think the only baseball worth watching is their own. I contend that the East Coast, particularly fans of the Red Sox and Yankees, should be watching this series very closely. As I see it the young players on the Rockies and Diamondbacks are going to be the free agents and players acquired through trade that the Red Sox and Yankees will be getting in 5 or so years.

Yankees and Red Sox fans contend they have built their teams with an abundance of homegrown talent but I find that laughable. The Rockies and Diamondbacks rosters are what I consider homegrown. Having a couple pitchers and 3 or 4 everyday regulars that came up through the system does not constitute a roster choked full of homegrown talent. When all is said and done the East Coast should be thrilled with the NLCS. They get to watch their AAA teams on national TV and get a good look at how their next stars perform under pressure. These fans will get a great idea of what they are trading their homegrown talent for and having to pay a few extra dollars for the nosebleeds when the Rockies and Diamondbacks become free agents.

(Photo from Jim McIsaac/Getty Images.)

Now That's A Bargain

At the end of every season some folks like to make a list of the most overpaid players in a given league. When it comes to Major League Baseball my favorite team, the Dodgers, usually has half of the starting 9 so it makes me happy to note that the most overpaid player is not a member of the Dodgers. You'd think the Red Sox paying J.D. Drew to be a 5-tool player only to find out that he hits like a pitcher would be the worst investment of the year but it is not. This year it is a legend that runs away with the award. The worst investment in MLB this year was none other than Roger Clemens. On so many levels his season was an utter failure and may go down as one the worst signings in history.

First, let's review what exactly Clemens was being paid. For his part-time work Clemens was rewarded with a pro-rated salary valued at $18,500,000. With luxury taxes added to that the Yankees spent $26,000,000 to have Clemens wear the pinstripes. Additionally, Clemens publicly admitted that he came back for no other reason than to win a World Series. That didn't exactly work out very well as they were unable to win anything this year except the Wild Card. Since the Yankees and Clemens failed so miserably to attain their goal it is likely Clemens is distraught over his performance. After all, he would have come back to the Yankees for free because he so desperately wanted to win.

Given his performance let's look at just how good of a teammate Clemens really was. All of these numbers are based on the $18.5M salary Clemens reportedly received and stats from the regular season and postseason. Even as a Yankees hater I cannot stomach having to run these numbers over the $26M he cost the team overall.


6 wins = $3.08M/win
69 strikeouts = $268,116/strikeout
101.1 IP = $182,571/IP
1646 pitches = $11,239/pitch
137.17 minutes worked* = $134,869/minute worked

*This was based on it taking 5 seconds for Clemens to wind up for every pitch. This is admittedly low for the amount of time Clemens worked since it doesn't count watching Posada flash his fingers between his legs and whatever else Clemens did.


After looking at the numbers one must conclude that his only value to the team cannot be measured by on-field performance. Perhaps he was a great DJ on the clubhouse sound system, I can't say for sure. All in all, Clemens' wife should be thankful Roger's cell phone reception died out on the golf course.

(Photo from Jim McIsaac/Getty Images.)

Cleveland Tourism Bureau Can't Be Happy

The Yankees have lost their first 2 games in the playoffs and I could not be any happier. Most of Cleveland feels my same sentiments but there is a small group in Cleveland that may not be so happy. Of course LeBron James, raised in Ohio, is disappointed given his recent proclamation that he is a Yankees fan. After tonight I can assure you the Cleveland Tourism Bureau and Chamber of Commerce are a bit disappointed in tonight's game. There was an insect plague of Biblical proportions at Jacobs Field. You know the insects are thick when they are visible on my standard definition 24-inch TV. I can't imagine what it must have looked like on 60-inch Hi-Def.

My lovely wife was nice enough to watch the latter stages of the game with me and every time they showed a close-up of the pitcher (which was nearly every pitch) she said, "Eeewwww, Gross!" At one point she asked, "Where is this game being played?" I told her it was Cleveland and her response was very simple. "We are never going to visit Cleveland." I laughed and couldn't disagree with her. I want no part of insect plagues myself. We couldn't possibly be the only ones that watched that game and decided Cleveland was a place we didn't need to visit.

(Photo from Amy Sancetta/AP Photo.)

MLB Playoffs

It's October so we have some exciting baseball on our hands. Each pitch is huge, the games are usually very close and the crowds are in the game from the first pitch on. I understand that a lot of people are turned off by the length of the season and the pace of the game but the playoffs are different. You've got to give the playoffs a chance, trust me, you'll thank yourself. It certainly beats most of the TV shows. So you know, all Division Series games are being shown on TBS, Championship Series games on TBS and FOX and the World Series on FOX. As part of the playoff excitement I have made some solid predictions on each playoff series and am very confident I know exactly what will happen this month.

National League Division Series
Cubs defeat Diamondbacks in 4
Rockies defeat Phillies in 5

American League Division Series (got the losing teams wrong initially, thanks go out to Anonymous for the heads up)
Angels defeat Yankees Red Sox in 3 4
Indians defeat Red Sox Yankees in 4 3

National League Championship Series
Cubs defeat Rockies in 5
American League Championship Series
Indians defeat Angels in 6

World Series
Cubs defeat Indians in 7

My paternal grandmother is a life-long Cubs fan and I have a feeling she is going to be able to finally celebrate a win. That really is the only reason I am picking the Cubs because I don't think they are the best team.

(Logo from MLB.com)

2007 Dodgers, R.I.P.

It sure was fun while it lasted. After Sports Illustrated picked the Dodgers to represent the National League in the World Series in its season preview issue I was pumped. The Dodgers appeared to have what it takes to make a deep run. The season started out well as the Dodgers were in 1st place for much of the season until about 3 weeks ago. The wheels started to fall off near the trading deadline and now they have completely come off. The Dodgers are stuck on the side of the road and everyone is passing them by. If it weren't for the Giants, the worst team in all of organized baseball, the Dodgers would be noticing last place in the rear-view mirror.

I had a hunch things wouldn't end well earlier in the season. Contrary to the statistics, I had been watching the games and noticed the Dodgers registered a 0 on the clutchness scale. They have spent the entire season hitting singles and leaving countless runners on base. For whatever reason the rest of the National League was sucking also, thus creating the mirage that the Dodgers were actually doing okay. I usually like to analyze the stats to back up what I say but it would be too painful. Someone else can actually figure out the Dodgers record over the last few weeks and their batting stats over the same time period because it will likely bring me to tears. I do know that not too long ago they were in 1st place with the most wins in the National League. But winning 2 or 3 games the last month or so makes that a far more . The Dodgers are loaded with prospects but have been dicking around with them (particularly the ones at 3rd base) all season. They certainly can't be any less clutch than the old, cagey veterans so it's time to get them some playing time and see if they are as good as everyone thinks.

A lot of folks will want to put the blame on Grady Little because that is the easy thing to do but I'm convinced that's not the problem. It really is not his fault the team has a lot of old guys and the starting pitching has had injury problems. It pains me to say that the Dodgers are done but their collapse over the last few weeks leaves me with no other option. Thankfully, football season is here and I don't have to agonize over the worst hitting team in clutch situations my eyes have ever seen.

(Photo from Lori Shepler/LA Times.)

A-Rod Follow-Up

A little while back I alerted readers to Jose Canseco's assertion that he has "dirt" on A-Rod. He didn't actually say anything specifically about steroids but one could guess that is what he was referring to. As I predicted very little was mentioned by the general media on the matter. Put simply, A-Rod isn't the villain Bonds is. This week Chipper Jones has been bothered by media in New York because of some of his comments concerning A-Rod and his pursuit of the all-time home run record. I believe Jones was trying to say that in this day and age any player that puts up crazy numbers is going to have to answer questions. He may not have said it so succinctly but that seems like a reasonable interpretation. Due to my dislike of A-Rod that was essentially my point as well. If everybody else from this era (except Griffey, Jr. of course) is looked at with a critical eye, why not A-Rod?

Since I have kept my eye out for any discussion of this I came across a pretty good point dismissing the thought of A-Rod using steroids. I wish I remember where I read/heard it but I can't so the proper individual doesn't get the credit. The defense of A-Rod went like this. In the case of Bonds his home run numbers and body type changed dramatically after rubbing "natural" creams all over his body. Since A-Rod started playing at the age of 19 he has been putting up crazy numbers.

It kind of sucks for A-Rod, provided that he is clean, that he may have to go through this. Like my mom said when I hung out with friends of questionable character growing up. "Whether it is fair or not you can be guilty by association." It's not A-Rod's fault that he is playing today but regardless, he is going to have to answer the same questions as his contemporaries.

The Chase Is Finally Over

Barry Bonds finally hit 756 last night. Nothing like hanging around just so you can break a record. It was fitting that the Giants choked the game away last night because that's the way Bonds wanted it. Having never won a World Series you'd think he do what NBA players are famous for and find a team to pay for that might give him that ring. Instead, Bonds prefers to play for the one team that we all know had zero chance of winning a ring before the season started. For Bonds it's all about him so last night is exactly what he wanted. All of the attention and a loss.

It's obvious I am not a Bonds fan so I wasn't really rooting for him to break the record. When it became apparent he was going to break it I was hoping it could just happen. The chase dragged on for what seemed like months and it was getting so tiresome I was rooting for him to hit it already. Seeing his daughter do the chicken dance was getting really annoying. The first time she did it that was kind of cute. Then every other time she did it I wanted to puke. ESPN would always cut away to her and make a sweet comment about it. If Bonds was the loving father ESPN kept telling me he was he would have told his daughter she was embarrassing the family. Unless she does that to dad every time he walks through the front door at night I think Bonds should have told her to stop. As I see it a team that walks the only batter on the opposing team that has any chance of hurting them is not being chicken. On the other hand, a player who wants to play for a team that perpetually loses so he can feel comfortable is a chicken. A player that blames a teammate for his failed performance enhancing drug test last year is a chicken. And a player who's personal trainer is in jail for covering up for him is a chicken.

My last commentary on the record breaking home run is the spectacular reporting of one Erin Andrews. Let me first say that I do agree with the majority of human beings and think she is quite attractive. Up until last night I was never really bothered by her sideline reporting. The only thing that bothered me was that sometimes she would report from the sideline at college basketball games and the director would not cut away to show her and instead just put her name at the bottom of the screen. Well, last night Andrews didn't show me much. I remind you that she has been in the Giants dugout for the last couple of weeks now so having to interview Bonds after the record-breaking game had been on her docket for quite some time. When talking to Bonds she came up with some brilliant questions. Let's see if I can remember them:

• When you walked to the batter's box what did you feel?
• When you started to swing the bat what did you feel?
• When the ball hit the bat what did you feel?
• When you rounded the bases what did you feel?
• When you touched home what did you feel?
• When you saw Hank Aaron's message on the video board what did you feel?
• When you mentioned your dad what did you feel?

Brilliant work Ms. Andrews. I can't imagine what questions you would have been able to come up with if you had been an honorary member of the Giants for another 2 weeks. I don't rail on her because I wanted her to ask about steroids. That would not have been the time to do it but at least pretend that you made it through journalism school because of your journalistic merit Erin. My brother-in-law has kids in his 6th grade class that could have come up with something a little bit more intelligent than that. The good thing is that the chase is finally over. The bad thing is that I don't get to watch the Giants lose every single night. Instead, I have to suffer watching the Dodgers melt down on MLB.tv every night.

(Photo from Jeff Chiu/AP.)

Giants Get What They Deserve

As a hater of the San Francisco Giants nothing makes me happier than seeing them in dead last. They have decided that it is in their best interest to pay a very old player, that the rest of MLB did not want to sign, an extraordinary amount of money. In return they have one of the oldest everyday lineups in the history of baseball (10 out of 14 positional players over 30, some way over 30). Keep in mind the history of baseball is a very long one. As a result of selling their souls to the devil the Giants have also resigned themselves to being Barry apologists. This certainly is something I would never want to be for any price. I guess 35 years from now when the Giants still have not won a World Series as members of the Bay Area community they will be glad they devoted themselves to the great farce that is the home run chase.

Theories abound as to why the Giants have stuck with Bonds and for me it is quite simple. They are the Giants. They are a terrible team and have no other way of servicing their stadium debt then putting a sideshow out in left field for the crazy people of San Francisco to come and watch. I have long had this theory that Giants fans are getting just what they have asked for. An awful team with a player everyone wants to see so they can blindly cheer him (Bay Area folks) or boo the hell out of him (nearly everyone else).

Tonight as I read a side article on the Dodgers vs. Giants game I realized even Bonds' teammates have to toe the company line. Whether it was a coincidence or not the Dodgers hosted a steroid awareness clinic at the ballpark for teenagers. Personally, I find it hilarious that they had to reschedule the event and today was the day chosen as the makeup date. There really is no other team that should be opposing the Dodgers as they host a steroid awareness clinic. With the Giants being complicit in the Bonds fiasco I predict they have essentially replaced the Red Sox as the team with a curse. My grandchildren will be telling their grandchildren about the Bonds Curse many years from now.

The greatest quotes from the article on this evening's event came from the Giants themselves. Rich Aurilia said, "I saw that today when I was coming into the park in the taxi -- steroids awareness clinic. Pretty ironic, huh? You think they planned it that way?" Wow, that is a true teammate. Everyone knows if the tables were turned Bonds would throw him under the bus given his history as a true team player. Aurilia could have mentioned that it is a good idea to have an event at the park and that the Giants should consider doing the same. Nothing really controversial in that type of statement.

Okay, so the teammate looked like a moron, what was the manager's response? Bruce Bochy's response to the event, "What they're doing here, I don't have any thoughts on it." You're to tell me Bochy, who has had one former player that admitted to steroid use die at an early age (other drugs were also used, cocaine was found in his system at the time of his death), has no opinion on teaching kids about the dangers of steroids? What a moron. My only hope for Bochy is that the twisted management of the Giants that has pandered to Bonds all these years has told him to respond in that way. For someone to have a 'who cares' attitude about steroids and kids is truly embarrassing.

In the end, not only do Giants fans look stupid for drooling at the sight of Bonds and the ownership look foolish for overpaying by a long shot for his services but his teammates and coaches (who he could care less about) look like imbeciles trying to defend him. San Francisco Giants fans everywhere, have a good time with that Bonds Curse, I know I will enjoy every minute of it.

(Photo of the last time the Giants will ever win a World Series from the Academy of Achievement. So you know, it was 1954 and the Giants were residents of New York City since the majority of people reading this weren't around then and would have no idea the Giants have actually won before.)

Throw It Back!

I don't have much in common with Los Angeles Dodgers fans. The only thing I do have in common is that I am a Dodgers fan. I don't like the city of Los Angeles. I don't root for USC in the fall during football season then root for UCLA in the winter during basketball season. I don't go to Staples Center one year to see the Lakers then to see the Clippers the next year. And I don't have much use for Hollywood celebrities. I get the feeling we do feel the same about Barry Bonds though.

The last 2 nights the Dodgers have played the Giants on ESPN2 because Bonds is one home run away from Hank Aaron. Bonds hasn't done much and the Dodgers have been pitching to him for the most part. The animosity between Bonds and the Dodger Stadium faithful gives me the chills. Every time he comes to the plate they boo him and as sad as it is to admit I am doing the same thing from about 1,000 miles away. It makes me feel good to boo such a bad guy. On tonight's broadcast Chris Berman predicted Bonds would hit the tying home run tomorrow night in Chavez Ravine. I think he has made that prediction every night for the last week but we won't hold it against him. The Dodgers do have Brett Tomko pitching tomorrow, which guarantees that they will need to score 8+ runs to have a chance at winning. Bonds may get a home run tomorrow, I doubt it. In the event that he does I encourage the Dodgers fan that catches it to throw the ball back.

With all of the steroid talk the value of the ball has diminished over the last few years. One may ask how a ball that hasn't been used could be going down in value but it has. Just believe me. I understand that the ball could still fetch quite a bit of money but the chance to throw it back would be legendary. Giving away thousands of dollars is considered a terrible mistake in today's culture but I contend the individual that throws it back will become more memorable than the one that sells it. People will remember how much money the ball sells for but they won't remember who's bank account has the money. On the other hand, the image of a true Dodgers fan chucking the ball back onto the field will be right up there with the Kirk Gibson home run of 1988. I realize I may be talking out of both sides of my mouth by arguing one should pass up the money in exchange for the chance to become more memorable/famous. I just think it would be more fun to throw the ball back and have 15 minutes of fame as a result of dissing Bonds and the pathetic Giants.

As a side note, the record will show in October that the Dodgers late season dominance began with a Nomar Garciaparra home run on August 1st. It was a great moment for all Dodgers fans and will be held in my heart forever. It was the first Dodgers game I ever watched with my unborn child at my side. He or she will most certainly be a fan of the Dodgers as a result of Nomar's heroics and my celebratory dancing.

(Photo from Kevork Djansezian/AP.)