Actual vs. Observed

Today is not Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. It is the day we observe his birthday. Is it so hard to figure out? He was born on January 15th, the same day as my father. It is my assumption that since my dad celebrates his birthday on the 15th that MLK, Jr's birthday is the same every year. I completely understand why his birthday is observed today, just don't look foolish next year and assume that because you have the day off (you must work for the government) it is MLK's actual birthday.

I will give everyone a pass on it this year since David Gregory screwed this up. For those that don't know him he is now the moderator of Meet the Press. Only people that are complete nerds watch that when they are in their mid 20s, I get that. While the rest of you watched the Eagles storm back I watched a rerun of the show and heard Gregory mention that King would be 80 today. I was stupefied by his idiocy, but managed to watch the rest of the show. I am sure I screw things up on a daily basis too so I will let it go. But just this once, David.

NBC Dropping The Ball

The West Coast and Pacific Time Zone are two things that cannot be beat. Getting to watch entire Monday Night Football games and every college football game allows this side of the country to accurately critique football teams. We do not let the New York Times tell us which teams are good because we can see it for ourselves. When it comes to these Olympics though NBC is being (a not so kind name according to my father-in-law). Why on earth did I have to wait until 11:30pm to watch the men's 4x100m swimming relay last night? It happened at around 8:30PDT.

I am not a television ratings genius but I have a feeling shows between 8 and 9 get far better ratings than shows on between 11 and 12. To make matters worse NBC hit me below the belt by saying Phelps started at 10:00pm. Yeah, the swimming did and maybe they did a short piece on him around 10 but the relay was long after that. If NBC can send HD all the way from China to California then they sure as hell can move around tape recorded events so I can watch the events without having to be completely worthless at work the next morning.

Now I do not want to sound like I hate another country (I likely will anyways though) but why did we have to hear the Japanese national anthem last night before the relay? I patiently waited for Phelps and the guys all night long and they delay it even more so I can see that. Put a montage of national anthems at the end of the broadcast if it is so important. Call me an American pig but I have absolutely no interest in watching that at 11:00pm or whenever it was. And just when it couldn't get any worse NBC decided the Star Spangled Banner was not necessary after the amazing relay. In reality that didn't bother me since a guy from France with a name pronounced just like my mother's (a fairly feminine name here in the States if you ask me) choked. Seeing a Frenchie (an American swimmer's word, not mine) with a girlie name cry in the pool was a great way to finish the night. I just wish it had been a couple of hours earlier.

More Replays Please

I was one of the many college basketball fans that watched Duke and North Carolina battle on Saturday night. I could not have been the only one that wanted to see multiple replays of Danny Green putting his twig and berries on Greg Paulus' forehead. It was a very impressive dunk and usually those types of plays are replayed over and over. What did ESPN do instead? Beat the Duke student in a Speedo story to death. I would much rather see a pompous and overrated Dukie get two black eyes while getting dunked on then see a college student give the sophomoric 'suck it' gesture while wearing only a Speedo. The only replay I saw of the impressive dunk was from the camera stationed behind the square on the backboard. Come on! I cannot actually confirm that Paulus was in a position that would even make a wrestler blush form that angle.

If this were FSN and UCLA doing the dunking (I see their relationship to be similar to Duke and ESPN's) we would get to see that play from 9 different angles and enjoy each one. Russell Westbrook has managed to put his junk in two players' faces this year and every camera angle in the building was at our disposal. I do not want to further emabrass the guys that were foolish enough to try and take the charge but they play for California-Berkeley and Oregon. I can't believe I just complimented FSN. Everything it does is pathetic and worthy of its own post. ESPN usually does a great job but in this case they did not practice journalistic integrity. All networks should remember that a dunk where another man puts his area on another man's head needs to be shown from multiple angles. It does not matter if the player being humiliated is from an adopted school.

(Photo from Deadspin.)

Having No Conscience

My wife was watching the new show on Fox about telling the truth while taking a lie detector test. For whatever reason the name escapes me and I am too lazy to try and find it. By the way, I am not trying to lie and say that my wife was watching it when in fact I was. I generally do give it a look (what can I say I love to see people’s lives ruined) but tonight I was doing something related to a small, and I mean small, business I own.

Anyway, apparently tonight’s contestant made it very close to the end by answering such questions as: Have you cheated on your husband?, Did you love someone else on your wedding day?, Do you still love your ex-boyfriend?, Do you know secrets about your dad your mom does not know? Now, it’s not that she answered them but she answered them all in a way that would lead you to believe her husband would never see it. On the contrary, he was looking her in the eye from about 15-feet away the entire time. So this lady completely ruined her marriage, though I think she did that a long time ago, and was going for $200,000 or so. Her question she had to answer truthfully was, “Do you think you are a good person?” Come on, with all of the questions she had answered they gave her a softball. She had spent a half hour answering this question. Unfortunately, for her, she thought she was a good person and the lie detector sent her home empty-handed, in more ways than one.

This lady was so stupid, but you know she really thinks she is a good person even if her lie detector results tell otherwise. This relates to sports in a roundabout way. As stupid as this lady is, she is no more stupid than Roger Clemens. He truly believes he did not do anything wrong. Tie him up to a lie detector and he will tell you he did it the right way even if the buttocks in his slacks has blood stains while taking the test. Only folks that think Derek Jeter is a good shortstop could believe Clemens is innocent. I mean, who else on the day before Valentine’s Day would throw his wife under the bus when talking to Congress about steroids?

As an aside, after reading all of this you probably doubt that I did not watch this episode. If you are married you know getting a description about a show in this great of detail is par for the course!

Playing For The Win

ESPN was nice enough to provide 'bonus coverage' yesterday of the UConn (I have been on their jock for about 3 weeks now, watch for them to advance in the Tourney) and South Florida. The game was being played in South Florida so I'm not sure if the broadcasters were a part of USF or UConn. If forced to guess I would say UConn since they actually have a team that's good enough to have its own ESPN Plus agreement. That is not all that important though. What is important is that the rules of basketball must have changed since my decorated days in junior high school. I missed the part where a one-point field goal was added to the rules. Why do I say this? Well, a broadcaster asked a question to his partner that leads me to believe one-point field goals are possible.

With UConn leading 72-71 and 19.7 seconds remaining in the game the broadcaster asked, "What do you do, go for the win?" I went crazy and railed on this guy immediately so I was not able to get the reaction to such an insightful question. Needless to say, USF went for the win and made a daring two-point shot. Stan Heath, USF's coach, has huge balls for calling such a play when everyone in the building knew a one-pointer would send the game into overtime. The only problem is that UConn had enough time to make a buzzer beater so Heath's strategic genius was not rewarded.

Ridnour Played 4 Years At Oregon

It has been nearly a week since I heard this but it still bothers me so I had to mention it. As this season has gone on for the Oregon basketball team people have been up and down with the guard play. One day the guards are young and inexperienced and the next day they are playing really well due to excellent coaching. During nearly every broadcast the local broadcasters remind the viewers that Aaron Brooks and Luke Ridnour struggled in their first season as well. I’m not sure I totally agree with comparing Ridnour to the current point guards but that’s not the point.

During the California-Berkeley game on Saturday the esteemed Rob Kloss said something to the effect of, “Brooks and Ridnour did not come into their own until their senior seasons.” I did in fact rewind the TiVo to make sure I heard that right and I did. Of course, I do not dispute the Brooks part of that but I question why Ridnour has to be mentioned. The primary reason being he left for the NBA after his junior year. A senior year he never played. Does Kloss forget the epic Elite Eight run during Rid’s sophomore season? I am fired up for the next OSN broadcast because I am certain I will have something to write about.

'The Big Game' Ads

It has been a few days since 'The Big Game' so I think it is appropriate to name my Top 4 ads. Any advertiser worth his or her salt should be dying to know what I think a few days after. There are countless people out there with an immediate breakdown on the winners and losers but I gave all of the ads time to sink in (or to forget practically all of them). If they are paying $2M+ just to show the commercial they better hope it resonates for more than 17 minutes. Well, now that I have explained why my list is so important let’s take a look at them. In no particular order:

Fire Breath: This was an early ad from Bud Light but it was hilarious. Hilarious is generally what I am looking for. The part I liked best was that I think it is highly probable that the main character does not have pets since he was allergic to cats. I like people that don't have pets. I despise pets so I think the girlfriend deserved to have her place catch on fire due to a sneezing attack.

Unibrow Babe: If I remember correctly this was a Planters ad. I loved that the chick was clearly not attractive (unibrow, glasses, whacked outfit, weird gait, a bit portly, etc.) but was still able to attract the guys. You know that girl paid close attention to all of those stupid self-esteem assemblies in elementary school. For anyone that cares I do not have a fondness for the aroma of nuts.

Will Ferrell: Just as I don’t have a fondness for nuts, I generally am not all that excited about men in short shorts with a leg raised but this was an exception. I’m terrible at remembering lines so I can't give any examples but Ferrell used some great ones to describe his affection for Bud Light.

Victoria’s “Story I Don’t Want To Tell You”: If I’m not mistaken this was Victoria’s Secret’s first Super Bowl ad and they did a great job. This commercial will likely be used in advertising classes at journalism schools across the globe for years to come. Seeing the hot model in lingerie was nice and all but the truly redeeming part of this ad was that it got me thinking about Valentine’s Day. Here all along I thought that holiday was a bunch of crap. Who knew Victoria’s Secret would open my eyes to the necessity of such a holiday? Is it just me or is Valentine’s Day a much better holiday when Victoria’s Secret is reminding me about it and not some chocolates and flowers place?

Go here to view all of the commercials from 'The Big Game' if you so desire. Note, I use the term 'The Big Game' because the NFL is far more concerned about me using trademarked names than it is ensuring that teams are not blatantly cheating.

Ballets Are Gross

I like basketball but I love football. With no meaningful football last weekend and only one game remaining (I won’t call it the Super Bowl so that the NFL can’t sue me.) I’m stuck surrendering the TV to my wife. As a result, I was lucky enough to watch some figure skating over the weekend. In the spirit of full disclosure, I actually went to the U.S. Figure Skating Championships with my family when they were held in Washington, D.C. a while back. I am proud to admit that I fell asleep within 30 minutes of arriving and did not wake up until we left.

Okay, back to this weekend. A great part of a figure skating broadcast is the announcing. The announcers say some of the craziest things and do it while talking in a soft voice as if talking normal really matters. What I heard on Saturday night floored me. In fact, I was grossed out. It was spoken as if it was not a big deal. My wife didn’t even think it was that bad. Maybe it’s a gender thing.

I never got the name of the lady that said this but she was the only lady in the booth. As a teenage girl was prancing on the ice she flippantly noted, “The ballet is about a man that inadvertently falls in love with a doll.” Of course I know it isn’t a true story, I think, but what demented mind would think to write an entire ballet on that topic?

Hot Dancers Make For Good TV

I spent the other night watching the finale of Dancing With the Stars. Luckily I am married so I can pass it off as having to watch what my wife wanted. Whether or not that’s true, one will never know. Since IndyCar driver Helio Castroneves was victorious this certainly is an appropriate forum to congratulate him on the victory. I did not, I repeat did not, watch every episode. In fact, I don’t think I watched one in its entirety so I can’t speak to whether or not Helio should have won. What I can say is that the young lady that is his partner, Julianne Hough, certainly could not have hurt his chances of winning. If I’m not mistaken she won the previous season with Apolo Anton Ohno (speed skater) so she must be a great dancer. It is also pretty apparent that she’s very good looking and to be honest nearly all of the female professional dancers are. That fact alone is the reason why I find the show bearable. My wife knows that’s why I watch the show and it doesn’t bother her, which makes her the coolest girl ever. Congratulations to Helio and I hope he is able to bounce back from the news that his engagement has been called off. Something tells me he’ll be just fine.

(Photo from abc.com)