We Have Another

At the beginning of last football season I watched a Clemson football game and one of the players had a hilarious major. I actually can't recall it at this time but rest assured that the name of the major suggested that football player was taking part in rigorous classes. I thought I would come across a lot of interesting major choices among football players last season but I didn't. Let me be clear, I am not dissing on the student athletes. They are not the ones who decide names of majors. In a previous life I knew a fair number of student athletes and all I can say is that I have the utmost respect for them. The amount of time they are required to give to their sport makes me wonder if I would have been able to graduate with any type of degree if I had been an athlete.

Well, after watching the College World Series last night I was treated to another fantastic major. One of Georgia's players, who shall remain nameless, had his major listed as 'Real Estate.' You would think the school would be smart enough to throw the word 'Management' after it to give it the guise of something special. I suspect this may have been a typographical error by ESPN but I'm going to go with it anyway. Besides, it is another school from the South and my ignorance leads me to believe schools in this region (SEC members in particular) have weak major names. I repeat, weak major names. Not necessarily weak majors, just the names of them.

I do wonder what courses are involved in the Real Estate major though. You know there is a class all potential majors dread is the entry level class that weeds out all of the slackers. What class is that you ask? My guess is Real Estate 104: Location, Location, Location. Other possible class names are:

1. Digital Arts for Real Estate: How to use Photoshop to make the backyard look nice
2. Finance for Real Estate: How jacking up the price a few thousand dollars in negotiations is not worth it to you since commission on that is not going to be very much
3. English for Real Estate: You can never use the word 'potential' too many times

I am starting to think this would be a great major. The breadth in the subject material would be extraordinary. So there you have it, The OpinionSmith Ivy League now has two distinguished members: Clemson University and the University of Georgia.

Photo of the University of Georgia library from Britannica.

What is Workforce Training?

College football has started and I couldn't be happier. I was able to watch a fair amount of games over the weekend but as always, not enough. Thankfully my in-laws were in town so I was able to watch quite a few games in the living room with my father-in-law while my wife chatted with her mother. Next week, it's probably back to the spare bedroom and the tiny TV for a lot of the games. As we were watching last night's game, Florida State's Drew Weatherford needs to learn how to throw the ball away, I came across something I had never seen before. A player for Clemson is majoring in Workforce Training. Workforce Training?! (I'm having a difficult time finding anything on this major but it's somewhere in that link.) I even had to pause the TiVo to make sure everyone in the room had a chance to confirm what I thought I saw. All of us saw the same thing so I figure it must be true.

My point is not to make fun of the player so I will not mention who it is. The point is to make fun of the school. Since I have no idea what Workforce Training is I can only assume Clemson has a prestigious trade school located on campus. Does the degree holder have the upper-hand when applying for any of the thousands of managerial positions at fast food restaurants? Or does the graduate have the inside track to an executive level position with a distinguished temp job agency?

For the rest of the season I am going to be on the lookout for outrageous academic majors. Again, I am not going to name the players because it's not their fault the school they attend offers such majors. Besides, knowing the hours student-athletes put in for sports I can't blame some of them for taking easy classes. (Yes, I understand I will be making assumptions on the course difficulty for some of these majors since I have never heard of them and have no idea what they are.) This will likely be a fun activity for me until I find someone from my alma mater getting a piece paper equal to mine for majoring in Workforce Training. At that point I will stop trying to identify The OpinionSmith Ivy League, whose membership at this point consists of Clemson University.

(Picture from Grad Profiles.)