Thanks For Nothing

It comes as no surprise that none of the affluent regulars to this blog sent me contact information. But through the powers of my last name and bank account the meeting that has been cancelled twice is now back on. The individual with which the meeting is to be with was kind enough to open up his schedule and fit me in. The third attempt at the meeting is now...(drumroll)...October 24th! Wow, sure seems like the guy wants to meet with me. I understand I am the one that has been trying to set the meeting up but if the guy had any sort of class he would just tell me (or have his secretary tell me since she is the only person I can get a hold of and that isn't even that easy to do) he does not want to meet. If I'm ever worth multiple millions I vow to be straightforward with everyone. Perhaps that openness will be a reason why I never achieve such financial success. If so, I'll be able to live with that. My plan is to call the ball breaker next week and cancel the meeting. At this point he is of no use to me and things will get done without him. That is the last of the meeting debacle I will write about. Now back to sports.

Dave Wannstedt?

In the age of blogs and message boards you can read some of the craziest things. Come to this site and you will likely read something you find outrageous but that's not the point. As an example of reading about interesting thoughts or predictions is a tidbit I came across today. Since I am not a professional writer I don't really have to reveal my source. It would be nice to but it really doesn't matter to the story because there is no way this is true. I simply bring it up to prove my point.

The first month of the college football season is coming to a close and some coaches are on the hot seat. One of these coaches may or may not be Dave Wannstedt of Pittsburgh. What may go down as the craziest rumor I have ever heard is that should Wannstedt be fired he would be interested in a graduate assistant (GA) position with the University of Oregon. Nothing against GA's but I find this hard to believe. A GA is the coach behind the coach. He does a lot of behind the scenes work that is crucial to a team that no one ever knows about or appreciates. Something tells me Wannstedt would love to be involved with a team on the cusp of the Top 10 but not that badly. We won't know about this rumor until the end of the season but it certainly is only a crazy rumor. About as crazy as hearing that the star linebacker on the football team and the lunch lady slept together in the kiln used for ceramics class.

(Photo from John Raoux/AP.)

China Would Never Cheat

I have professed my belief that the Chinese will do whatever it takes to look good for the Olympics next year. It is true that they plan on shooting missiles into clouds to avoid rain, they have displaced a fair number of people to make room for Olympics-related things. China is well-known for giving the middle finger to the copyright laws of other countries, they don't treat citizens as well as they should, the list likely goes on and on. I am of the belief the Chinese Olympic team will also do whatever it takes to win medals. I mean, it's a part of the culture so I would be foolish to think otherwise.

Today word came out that the DEA has busted a steroid ring in the U.S. that is incredibly extensive. These are numbers related to the probe: 124 arrests, 27 states, 56 labs, $6.5M, 532 lbs. of raw steroids. Now you're asking, what does this have to do with China cheating at the Olympics? Well, according to the report a large majority of the steroids came from China. You ask, what constitutes a large majority? Try 99.9%. My assumption is that the number is not 100% because some meat head at a fitness center mixed a PowerBar with cocaine and tried to sell 1 ounce of it.

Call me crazy for thinking this can prove my theory that the Chinese Olympic team will be the dirtiest one in attendance but I do. Should any member of the Chinese team win a medal I will most certainly think they are on an illegal drug of some kind. The fact that they don't fail a test will not factor into my opinion. The Chinese government wants to put on a show. Since it is essentially a Communist state the government can do whatever they want to ensure that happens. If it means spending crazy amounts of money on performance enhancing drugs instead of providing legitimate opportunities for many of the Chinese people then they will.

Upset Special: Week 4

I am really taking a chance this week. Kind of like when I picked Tiger Woods to win the PGA Championship. I am sticking to the Southeast corner of the country and taking South Carolina (+ 18) to defeat LSU in Baton Rouge. This is certainly a crazy pick but I like Steve Spurrier. I don't have a list of his results at South Carolina but it seems to me his teams never get blown out. I realize not getting blown out doesn't constitute an Upset Special but the fact that Spurrier might be the best college coach is only part of my rationale. It's taken me at least 5 minutes to come up with more of an argument than Steve Spurrier is the better coach in the matchup and I can't. I suppose this is why the 2nd ranked home team is more than a 2 touchdown favorite. Well, that is all I can say about this pick. I like Steve Spurrier, Steve Spurrier is good.

Last Week: Kentucky came through and defeated a team from the incredibly overrated Big East. That brings my season record to 2-1. Interested to see how this week turns out.

(Photo from John Bazemore/AP Photo.)

Help Needed

I am looking for someone that has a significant number of zeros coming before the decimal point in his/her bank account. My request is simply that I can use your name or that you make a phone call to set up a meeting with someone. Instead of you showing up at the meeting I will so it really doesn't matter where you live. I have been trying to set up a meeting with someone for 2 months now and have had meetings canceled twice after they have been scheduled. When I reschedule I am given a date weeks into the future so essentially I am of the belief that if someone influential calls on my behalf I will have a meeting within 24 hours. If you are willing to help me just send me an e-mail and I can give you further details. When all is said and done this individual is going to wish he didn't bust my balls for 10 minutes of his time. Whether he regrets it two months from now or 10 years from now I can't say but he will. If you would like to be a small part of pulling one on a guy that thinks he can jerk me around just shoot me an e-mail.

Jr. High Redux

I woke up this morning and thought I was reliving junior high. It was during these formative years that the primary news story was the O.J. Simpson murder trial and brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts were a staple of my diet. Every night my family would watch the NBC Evening News with Tom Brokaw and get the day's rundown of the trial even if we were sick of it. It was also the biggest story in the hometown Sacramento Bee every single day. I don't think the attention paid to the trial was only in California but maybe it was. As sad as it is the day I remember most vividly from junior high was the day Simpson was acquitted. We watched the verdict in Mrs. Watanabe's Algebra class and then spent the rest of the day discussing the matter.

Back to this morning. I turned on MSNBC and there was Dan Abrams waiting for Simpson to walk into the courtroom and I was eating Pop Tarts. I'm sure no one is crazy enough to remember but it was the Simpson case that put Abrams on the map. Many people probably don't even know who he is today but he is a prominent legal talking head for MSNBC and even has his own evening show. Seeing Simpson walk into the courtroom like a cagey veteran was impressive. I can't imagine how nervous I would be if I was being charged with multiple felonies and meeting the judge to determine bail. Simpson was so calm and just going through the motions. It seems like he is in his element wearing a jumpsuit and sitting in the defendant's seat in a courtroom. Who could blame him though? He has gotten away with murder in the past so what's a silly charge of kidnapping, armed robbery, etc.? It seems the evidence may not be nearly as strong this time around either. I mean, how could it be?

The last thing that struck me was seeing the prosecutor, Marcia Clark, from the Simpson murder trial walk out of the courtroom (see now and then). I'm convinced it's not the same person. I guess over the course of 12 years a lot of cosmetic work can be done. When someone is her age they usually don't look better 12 years later. At least naturally. And this isn't to say she was all that attractive today but certainly better than in the mid 1990s.

(Photo from Jae C. Hong/AP Photo.)

Isn't That Sweet?

The NFL is certainly the land of second chances. Even the guys that have made bonehead mistakes in the last few months have had transgressions in the past that would suggest terrible behavior in the future. Well, Bill Belichick certainly falls into that category. The beauty of the NFL though is that if you are the right person your transgressions are judged by one person and one person only, Roger Goodell. This guy wants you to think he is tough but I have my doubts. Yes, he did throw the book at Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson and Michael Vick. Really, does it take a disciplinarian to determine those guys are morons? But because Goodell handed out suspensions never seen before, the media made him out to be the ultimate "the buck stops here" kind of guy. After much thought I don't agree.

The most current and relevant situation involves Belichick. I have let my feelings on him be known but some follow up is appropriate. Goodell really showed him not to misinterpret the rules last week. He was fined about 11% of his annual salary, which isn't $20,000 mind you. Wait, that's not all. Provided Belichick makes the playoffs he will not have 1 of his 2 first round draft picks. My oh my, what is a coach to do with only 1 first round draft pick? And if the Patriots don't make the playoffs they give up two middle round picks. I am thoroughly not impressed with the punishment of taking draft picks, particularly in this age of free agency. Patriots supporters will claim Belichick is a drafting wizard but if I'm not mistaken his biggest additions this year were through trades or free agency. You tell me, were these guys drafted this last year? Adalius Thomas, Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth and Wes Welker. Simply said, the punishment Goodell handed out was weak. Belichick has a history of cheating and was recently warned not to cheat but simply claiming a misinterpretation of the rules is enough for Goodell to slap his wrist. I could care less if this is an unprecedented punishment. The offense committed is also unprecedented!

Goodell's soft spoken interview with Bob Costas on Sunday Night was real stirring and would have brought me to my knees if I was a cheating coach. Goodell is so certain Belichick is going to hand over all the film that is asked for. Who in their right mind would say that with a straight face? I mean Belichick has shown he is a man with great character after all. The guy cheated after you told him not to and now you're convinced he isn't going to trash incriminating video? I could have sworn people have tried to tell me Goodell is smart. Goodell's crack research team will come back saying all they found was footage from the 2 games that Belichick was caught cheating in. I just hope I'm not the only one that doesn't believe it. I can say for sure Goodell likely will though.

To top off the whole Bill Belichick story I have had to read articles about the team standing behind their coach following the win over the Chargers. Why weren't these guys standing up for Belichick last week? Those Patriots are incredibly ballsy showing support when they did. It sure is easy to stand behind a guy that blatantly cheats after a big win. Tedy Brushci and Mike Vrabel, I'm still trying to decide which is football's version of the incredibly overrated Derek Jeter, are acting like Belichick is a true American hero. They also likely think Rodney Harrison was unfairly suspended for HGH use and will want to give him a parade through Boston after his first interception following his suspension. Something tells me Bruschi and Vrabel would get their jock strap in a bunch if an opposing coach had repeatedly done the same thing as Belichick. I know, call me crazy.

Let me just leave you with some words of advice. The next time Goodell gets a thumbs up from the media for suspending a player just remember that he is in bed with the owners, particularly owners who like to be in the media (see Kraft, Bob). A punishment I would have liked to have seen would have been a reduction in the Patriots salary cap of $5-$10M for the next couple of years. That would have taught every team and coach in the NFL not to cheat. I suppose the reason Goodell's punishment for Belichick was so weak was because he doesn't really care.

(Photo from AP.)

Doing The Hometown Proud

Most people know I am not the biggest soccer fan in the world, especially women's soccer. But when someone from my hometown is playing for a national team it is a big deal. Stephanie Lopez (#14 in above picture) is competing in the Women's World Cup in China and starting to boot. I have come across 2 articles on Lopez in the last few days. Here's one from The Oregonian and one from The Washington Post. (Thanks to this Portland Pilots blog for the link to the Post article.) In addition to being from my hometown I can honestly say I know her. Whether she remembers me could be an entirely different story. I knew her brother fairly well, her parents were leaders in my church youth group and I think my sister was friends with her. (I never did a good job of keeping track of who my sister's friends were so can't say for sure.) There, I stated 3 connections to her so I obviously know her very well. When I left for college she was finishing her freshman year of high school so I obviously was not able to appreciate the fact that my alma mater's girl's soccer team had a world class player. Lopez will finish a distinguished career at the University of Portland following the World Cup, has a bright future with the U.S. team and, according to the article, getting married soon. Seems like things are going well for her and that is good to see.

(Photo from U.S. Soccer.)

Upset Special: Week 3

I'm not as convinced as some that the Big East is a dominant conference. The thing that bothers me the most is that the conference's preseason schedule is chocked full of lower level teams. The top teams in the league don't really get ambitious when making their schedules so it's no wonder that towards the end of the season undefeated teams play each other. Well, this week the darling of the Big East, Louisville, plays one of the toughest non-conference teams for the Big East this year. It's the Kentucky Wildcats. That alone proves my point. Kentucky is a nice team but they aren't exactly a football power. Basketball power, yes. Football power, no.

Kentucky (+7, as of Wednesday) is coached by former Oregon head coach Rich Brooks and he has turned things around a little bit. Quarterback Andre Woodson is a top pro prospect and this is a rivalry game. Over the last few years when Louisville has been highly ranked and Kentucky has been rank the games have been close. Now that Kentucky has a top quarterback, is playing at home and facing a team that gave up 40+ points to Middle Tennessee they are going to pull off the upset. Hopefully, the talk about the Big East being a phenomenal conference will slowdown after Kentucky's win today.

Last Week: Oregon was able to pull out a squeaker in the Big House and even up my season record at 1-1.

(Photo from Ed Reinke/AP Photo.)

Typical Oregonians

I am a transplant to Oregon, therefore I have not fully bought into the Oregon mindset. Conversely, Oregonians don't necessarily appreciate me because I am from California. Little does anyone know I was actually born in Oregon but spent a brief amount of time here. My formative years were spent elsewhere, which explains why I can't figure out how Oregonians think sometimes.

Yesterday terrible news broke that the Portland TrailBlazers #1 draft pick, Greg Oden, was going to miss the season. Read articles here and here if you so desire. He injured his knee and needed to have microfracture knee surgery. In the past NBA players have had this surgery and it seems that none of the players have come back as strong as they were before the surgery. None of the previous players was 19 years old like Oden is though. As a side note, this fact does not lead me to believe that he is actually 40 years old like some contend he may be. I'm not exactly sure what to think about Oden being the youngest of the bunch to have this surgery. Does it mean he is young so he will be able to come back strong? Or does it mean that he is predisposed to knee problems for the rest of his career? For the sake of the Blazers I hope it is the former.

Oden and Kevin Durant were the two best players in the draft but the Blazers chose Oden. This was seen as a good move since he has been the consensus #1 amateur player the last 3 years or so. The guy is 7-feet tall and very athletic so it seemed like as safe a bet as you'll find in any draft. Of course, a few months later it does not seem as safe a bet but you can't fault the Blazers for drafting him. According to general manager Kevin Pritchard, the team put Oden through a litany of physical tests prior to the draft and there is no reason to believe they didn't.

Now that I have established the background of the situation I will now turn my attention to Oregonians. The Blazers have been an embarrassment to the state the last few years so when they received the #1 pick people started to come back to the team. People began to buy season tickets in anticipation of the turnaround. I also got caught up in the excitement and figured I might watch 5 entire NBA games this season as opposed the 0 I had watched the last few years. Then yesterday the news came out and some locals started freaking out. They want to know how they can get refunds on their season tickets. This is where I started to think, typical Oregonians.

If you're not familiar with the area I'll give you some examples of a 'typical Oregonian'. First off, if anything goes wrong it's likely George W. Bush's fault. If the state government is not willing to give large companies decent incentives to reside in the state and the company decides to take its jobs elsewhere, it's Bush's fault. If the governor does not want to pony up the funds for education, it's Bush's fault. If it's not raining enough, it's Bush's fault. If it's raining too much, it's Bush's fault. You get the picture. Then there are the day-to-day happenings. If a kid at Taco Bell ruins my order it's a result of the kid not liking my car. If my kid fails a class it's because his teacher doesn't like his haircut. If I get fired from my job for not showing up it's because the boss has a bias against my gender. Somehow Oregon has created a culture where everything is someone else's fault. It really is comical but makes me wonder how much longer I can stay here.

Now, you're asking how does this relate to the Oden situation. There is absolutely no way the Blazers should refund season tickets. No one was forced to purchase the tickets. It's not as if the team is not going to play the games. They are still going to play and there is still a great, young nucleus led by the reigning Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy. The Blazers didn't pull any tricks in this matter. They didn't tell the public they were going to pick Greg Oden then at the last minute draft Greg Kinnear. Injuries are an unfortunate part of sports. Oden didn't kill or beat anyone/anything. Oden didn't get busted for doing drugs. Oden is still on the team and there is reason to be optimistic he will return next year. At least the Blazers drafted someone that is good-natured and won't embarrass the state. Blazers fans should be thankful for that alone. Simply put, the Blazers and Oden are incredibly unlucky and fans have to live with that.

(Photo from Garret Ellwood/Getty Images.)

An Insult To Video Guys

I was born on the West Coast, raised on the West Coast and plan on raising my own kids on the West Coast. I love most everything about the West Coast and strongly dislike the East Coast for the most part. I hate the big cities, the crappy weather, the pompous sports fans and the overrated sports teams. The Yankees and Red Sox rivalry is played out, the Patriots are nowhere near the 49ers or Cowboys dynasties of yesteryear and the NBA played on the East Coast is an absolute embarrassment. I haven't even mentioned college football (there isn't any in the Northeast) and Big East basketball is too boring for me to even acknowledge its existence.

I bring all of this up because the New England Patriots have gone and embarrassed video coordinators. I don't know much about the profession but I do know a couple of people who work in the video field. They are hard-working individuals and have to answer to some pretty demanding coaches, or so it seems. It appears Patriots video assistant Matt Estrella has marched to head coach Bill Belichick's orders one too many times. Apparently, he was caught recording the hand signals of the New York Jets on Sunday. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has determined they broke the rules and a punishment is likely to follow. Check out stories on the situation here, here and here.

My question is this. If the Patriots are the single greatest team ever assembled (according to various media blowhards), why do they need to cheat? And why do they need to cheat more than once before being punished? The Green Bay Packers kicked Estrella out of Lambeau Field last year for doing the same thing. Only in the NFL could a player be suspended for a year for being charged, not convicted, of a crime but some 'genius' coach can repeatedly cheat and get away with it. No I'm not talking about Vick, I am talking about Pacman Jones. I predict the NFL will protect one of its 'genius' coaches and fine the team an amount that equals a Sunday's worth of hot dog sales or take away two 7th round picks. Whichever it is, the Patriots will certainly pay so dearly for the offense that they would never want to do it again.

I have long held that the Patriots are overrated and been annoyed by the media's infatuation with them. Now it only gets worse as they employ their video assistant to blatantly cheat and do it more than once. Only an idiot would assume the Patriots have been caught the only 2 times they've tried to film the opponent's signals. Belichick likely thinks he has done nothing wrong and the Northeast will follow his lead like the starstruck sissies they are. If the Red Sox tell their faithful they are not doing what the Yankees did 10 years ago they buy it hook, line and sinker so whatever Belichick comes up with will be taken as gospel.

The Ultimate Ball Breaker

Well, I was fortunate enough to witness in person Oregon's incredible victory at the Big House over the weekend. It was a lot of fun and well worth having to fly with Northworst Airlines. If you learn one thing from me it should be, Never fly Northworst Airlines! No radio, no televisions, no free snacks, no (insert whatever you would like to have to pass the time on a 4+ hour flight). With all of that being said the one thing I will remember the most from my trip was the characters I was with. In order to protect the identities of the individuals involved in this story I will use generic names, John and Matt. Here goes the story.

The Ducks finished pummeling the Wolverines and we headed back to our hotel after eating at a Mexican restaurant. (The cheese in the quesadilla and the churros were phenomenal.) We arrived at the hotel around 9:30pm and decided to watch some of the LSU vs. Virginia Tech game in the lobby. It was at this time that John decided he was going to head back to Ann Arbor to hang out with a childhood friend. Matt and I wished him well and went up to our respective rooms to watch college football. Honestly, I can't think of anything more fun to celebrate Oregon's biggest road win in a long time than to watch more football! At around 11:00 pm I decided it was time to go to sleep because Matt and I needed to wake up at 9:00 to catch a flight. I do realize 10 hours of sleep after a huge win qualifies me for senior citizen status but I need to have my full allotment of sleep in order to fly. Ironically enough, the guy that went out to party, John, had to wake up at 6:00am or so to catch an earlier flight. Being the college beer pong champion that he is that minor detail had no bearing on when he was going to go to sleep.

I wake up the next morning and made my way down to the lobby at 10:00am to meet up with Matt. I figured out the directions to the rental car drop off and waited for Matt to show. Of course, it's 10 and he is nowhere to be seen so I call him. (Hopefully you have made it to this part of the story because this is where it gets good.)

Matt - "Will they let me fly if I don't have my driver's license?"
Me - "Why don't you have your driver's license?"
Matt - "Well, I think John took my pants with him when he left this morning."
Me - "Are you sure John took your pants and how did you not know that he took your pants?"
Matt - "I have searched the whole room and can't find them. I left them on my bag when I went to sleep."
Me - "Do you have any pants that you can wear to the airport or are those your only ones?"
Matt - "I do have other pants."
Me - "Good, get down to the lobby and we'll figure something out at the airport."

As I waited for Matt in the lobby I was completely dumbfounded. Luckily, it had been established that John did not take the pants off of Matt while he was sleeping. But how could John take Matt's pants that were lying on his bag? When Matt came down he was able to enlighten me.

Apparently John got back to the room around 4:30am and may or may not have been hammered. I'll let you decide. Upon entering the room John began throwing pillows at Matt. John was under the impression Matt was sleeping but he wasn't because John's noisy entrance moments earlier had awoken him. After throwing pillows at Matt, John began to laugh hysterically and decided that was the time to take some photographs of Matt lying in bed with all of the pillows. It was about this time I was beginning to wonder if in fact John took the pants that were on Matt's person given how thrilled he was to turn Matt into a model. Matt assured me that was not the case. At around 6:00am John received a phone call from his ride to the airport wondering where he was. Of course John had slept through his alarm. As an aside, can you sleep through an alarm that you never set because you are too (insert appropriate words for an individual that throws pillows at and takes pictures of other men in bed)? I'll let you ponder that question on your own.

After receiving the wake-up call John proceeded to do what he does best: get angry, lose his temper and use four-letter words. It should come as no surprise that not only did John not wake up but he also needed to pack. At this point, John proceeded to repeatedly use every four-letter word imaginable while throwing whatever he could find in the dark room into his bag. John zipped up his bag and bolted out the door. It was when Matt woke up and started to pack his own bag that he discovered that John left a polo shirt, cell phone charger and who knows what else. However, Matt could not find the pants he wore the day before that had his wallet and keys. Given John's struggle to leave the room hours before, Matt assumed/hoped John had his pants. Matt did wonder though if in his haste to leave John had thrown the pants across the room and the keys and wallet had fallen out and scattered to the far corners of the room. We could not verify the location of Matt's pants because John was already in the air but we had to get to the airport.

When arriving at the airport Matt had to receive a special boarding pass that gave him the right to be manhandled by a security guard. When Matt showed his boarding pass at the security checkpoint he was immediately taken to his own little corner of the room. The entire airport was able to watch as Matt's bag was turned inside out and Matt's body was vigorously patted. As I waited for Matt I sent John a text simply saying, "No one has broken someone's balls more than you. the whole aiport just watched matt get cavity searched." The thought of someone being so drunk (or tired if you were to ask John) that he packs clothes placed on someone else's bag, leaves some of his own things and takes the wallet of someone that could use it to get through security got me through the Northworst flight. After initially claiming that he should not be blamed for taking Matt's pants, John finally fessed up to being a moron and making the trip to Michigan all that much better.

(Photo from Tony Ding/AP Photo.)

Upset Special: Week 2

As hard as it was to find an upset special last week, it was just as easy to find one this week. Due to a hectic schedule I will keep this short but there is one game out there that is screaming for me to pick. It is of course the Oregon game in Ann Arbor, MI. Granted, in the school's history the Ducks have never scored a point in the Big House but that is certain to change. It is likely that the first team to punt will be the losing team. I am taking the chance that it will be the Wolverines that jog their punter out first. Oregon is an 8.5 point underdog, which means the game easily qualifies as an upset special. It will be exciting to see how the Ducks do halfway across the country. I witnessed their beat down against Oklahoma a few years ago and hope this will be different. Look for the Ducks to send Lloyd Carr into retirement and Wolverine fans over the edge.

Last week's upset special was a disaster. Tennessee played about 3 quarters of football (I am being generous there) and was no match for California. That brings my season record to 0-1. It is still early and I am hoping I can bounce back just as I hope the Saints do the same.

(Photo from Don Ryan/AP Photo.)

What is Workforce Training?

College football has started and I couldn't be happier. I was able to watch a fair amount of games over the weekend but as always, not enough. Thankfully my in-laws were in town so I was able to watch quite a few games in the living room with my father-in-law while my wife chatted with her mother. Next week, it's probably back to the spare bedroom and the tiny TV for a lot of the games. As we were watching last night's game, Florida State's Drew Weatherford needs to learn how to throw the ball away, I came across something I had never seen before. A player for Clemson is majoring in Workforce Training. Workforce Training?! (I'm having a difficult time finding anything on this major but it's somewhere in that link.) I even had to pause the TiVo to make sure everyone in the room had a chance to confirm what I thought I saw. All of us saw the same thing so I figure it must be true.

My point is not to make fun of the player so I will not mention who it is. The point is to make fun of the school. Since I have no idea what Workforce Training is I can only assume Clemson has a prestigious trade school located on campus. Does the degree holder have the upper-hand when applying for any of the thousands of managerial positions at fast food restaurants? Or does the graduate have the inside track to an executive level position with a distinguished temp job agency?

For the rest of the season I am going to be on the lookout for outrageous academic majors. Again, I am not going to name the players because it's not their fault the school they attend offers such majors. Besides, knowing the hours student-athletes put in for sports I can't blame some of them for taking easy classes. (Yes, I understand I will be making assumptions on the course difficulty for some of these majors since I have never heard of them and have no idea what they are.) This will likely be a fun activity for me until I find someone from my alma mater getting a piece paper equal to mine for majoring in Workforce Training. At that point I will stop trying to identify The OpinionSmith Ivy League, whose membership at this point consists of Clemson University.

(Picture from Grad Profiles.)