Beckham Plays, What Next?

David Beckham played yesterday and apparently people are excited. I wouldn't know I was camping. As far as I can tell I missed next to nothing and the ankle injury had nothing to do with it (I will explain later). I know it's impossible for him to be Michael Jordan in a sport where offense is not celebrated. At least not the point-scoring offense Americans prefer and rightfully expect. Ticket prices seem rather high so we need something to put us in the seats. Now the soccer elitists are going to counter that the game is beautiful and the reason for Beckham's arrival is not to score tons of goals. They are right I suppose. It instead is to put fannies in seats (Americans like goals) and raise the profile of soccer (Americans like offense). I counter that the most important reason for Beckham's presence in the U.S. is so some people make tons of money, (see Beckham, David). People need to be honest with themselves and realize money is the true reason for him coming here. It's primarily money for him but there are some other folks out there that will benefit.

As for the injury, I know that Beckham is nursing an injured ankle. The only thing that affected was his playing time. Whether he is 40%, 80% or 100% he is still a midfielder and still plays soccer. Goals are minimal and after a while Americans will hate that the soccer play that makes Beckham most famous, direct kicks, are a result of cowardly flops and terrible acting. Now that I've disputed the injury argument from our soccer friends I will return to the reasons for Beckham's arrival, and why the first game is a sign that he will be glad he came over but American soccer will not.

Of course I knew Beckham was here and going to play in an exhibition game against an English club, Chelsea FC. With the constant promos on ESPN and reality television shows (I heard the Victoria Beckham show was entertaining by the way) I was under the impression this was a major event. Imagine my surprise when I read a sellout crowd of 27,000 people were in attendance. I wasn't surprised it was a sellout, I was shocked that the capacity was 27,000 people. The MLS brings one of the world's most famous people to play soccer and all they can find is a 27,000-seat stadium? I don't care if this is an ordinary stadium for the MLS, this was not an ordinary game. Beckham debuted and Chelsea FC was the opponent. Put the game in a bigger stadium so Beckham can at least feel like he earned some of his money. If the kid that plays Harry Potter was going to play for the Galaxy against a 40-and-over rec league team from Pierre, SD more than 27,000 people would show up. I understand not playing in an enormous stadium but there might be more than 27,000 people at the first day of Alabama football practice in a couple of weeks. That is American football for anyone thinking Beckham really has altered the sports landscape.

As far as catapulting soccer in America, I'm not sure if that is going to happen. When news of Beckham's signing with the MLS first broke I thought that might happen. Now that it he is actually here, I'd bet against it. You're to tell me Americans are finally going to start liking soccer because a good-looking man is playing in the midfield and kicking penalty kicks? I am not an expert on male hotness but I am confident hot men can be seen doing a lot more exciting things in the United States. Whether that is playing a ball sport that requires the use of hands or acting in movies, I can't say. A more expert opinion is needed to figure that out for sure.

The novelty of an international celebrity playing soccer in the United States is going to fade before too long. I would hope for the sake of the hype machine that sold-out crowds will see the Galaxy play as long as Beckham is playing. However, the diminutive size of the stadiums need to be considered when contemplating the presence of a soccer revolution. I applaud the MLS for trying something new and creating excitement but I doubt it will have the long-term effects hoped for. One thing the MLS does have going for them is that the WNBA still exists. It is a miracle of Biblical proportions that the WNBA exists. I knew a lot of Americans were stupid but I guess I underestimate just how stupid. Would someone explain to me why it is so difficult to find a couple million dollars funding for a legitimately good business idea when at the same time the WNBA exists?

(Photo from Getty Images.)