The OpinionSmith

How Disappointing

2009-04-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

I'm a week late to the discussion but the powers-that-be at the University of Oregon decided being a mid-major program is acceptable. It was fairly shocking to me since Pat Kilkenny held coaches of sports that no one cares about accountable for winning. Considering basketball is one of two sports that pays all of the bills I figured a lengthy track record of being mediocre was enough to turn the page.

The best part of the whole thing is that Oregon fans that trust what their eyes see and think a new coach was needed are supposed to feel better because a high-priced assistant was brought in. In what universe should fans be so excited about an assistant coach? This isn't football where coordinators are in charge of one side of the ball. This is basketball where there are only five players on the court at any given time. Only at Oregon would they be able to convince the fan base and local media that "an excellent assistant coach hire" is the perfect answer to the program's worst season ever. I challenge any basketball fan to name more than one assistant coach that isn't coaching his/her alma mater. The sport of college basketball is all about the head coach. It's not about the players, assistant coaches or team managers. How else do the same coaches no matter where they are coaching make teams successful?

If nothing else, the decision to keep Kent will mean next year's season tickets should be sold at a severe discount. There will likely be one road game, one "neutral" site game (Pape Jam), and 13 or so home games against some of the least talented D-I teams. The naive fan base will get excited and think the genius assistant coach has pushed all the right buttons. If this sounds like something you have heard before, it is. I feel sorry for the players that the administration has bought into the coach's theory that one trip to the tourney during their careers is the definition of success.

Is Oregon A Mid-Major?

2009-03-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

Among die-hard Oregon fans the topic of who should coach the basketball team is a hotly contested one. It seems half the group thinks the current regime is just the one for Oregon because even sporadic success is better than what it used to be. The other half realizes Oregon may have never been this good before but it's obvious the team needs to consistently win. I am obviously on the side that says the current coach doesn't have what it takes to make Oregon a consistent winner. Because of that one sentence many people may not continue reading but if you do you will be enlightened, I promise.

One of my good friends is a University of the Pacific alum so we went down to Stockton and watched them play a couple of weeks ago. It was my first non-Oregon college game in a long time. Needless to say, watching both teams run actual plays and appear as though they had an actual offensive game plan was not something I had grown accustomed to seeing. I then checked out the banners on the wall of the gym. The banners show that UOP has been a pretty good team over the last 10 to 15 years. A few NCAA berths, a year or two when the national media takes notice and some appearances in postseason tournaments that mean nothing. When all is said and done UOP is a pretty good mid-major program.

It was then that I realized in its current state Oregon is a mid-major. In the last ten years the team has made folks east of the Rockies take notice in two of those years. The current coach has made fans think he is a miracle worker for earning a bid to the NCAA Tournament. There are even some fans that think NIT appearances are a big deal. As I took the 'Oregon is a mid-major' theory further it really seemed to fit. Many times a mid-major team makes noise because the roster is dominated by upperclassmen that have spent quite a few years playing together. Does that sound familiar?

On the flip side, when a mid-major has a young team they usually have no chance of competing for a league title because someone else in the league is senior dominated. The end result of not competing for the league title with a young roster is something an Oregon fan is all too familiar with. However, these days many BCS teams are young so my brain tells me the reason Oregon's success is dramatically cyclical is a direct result of having one of the two worst coaches in the Pac-10. Thankfully for Ernie Kent the jury is still out on Johnny Dawkins. Though having a winning record with a team that did not have the Lopez twins shouldn't be overlooked.

In the coming days Pat Kilkenny is going to make one final decision before stepping down as athletic director. To a lot of people his decision will be about who should coach the basketball team. In my eyes his decision is deeper than that: At this time it is clear Oregon basketball is a mid-major program. Is that acceptable?

My Bracket Baby

2009-03-18T21:22:00.001-07:00

My daughter was born on the second day of the 2008 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Tournament (March Madness) and for that reason alone loves basketball. Early research shows that her affinity is for the men's version alone but only time will tell. Well, on Sunday my daughter filled out a bracket. My wife and I put the logos of the two teams for each game on the monitor and had her pick the winner. Sometimes she pointed at the logo, other times she stared at the logo and occasionally she would try to grab the keyboard. Needless to say it took a long while for us to put the bracket together.

We filmed the entire selection process and if my wife ever decided to get a PhD (I'd love to be a stay-at-home dad but she has no interest in going back to school) she should use it. There is likely a lot of rich data that some dork would love to see. Did she prefer logos on the left or right? What colors were chosen the most? Did she hate logos that had text in them? All I can figure out is that my daughter loves bears, no matter how scary they look.

My wife's family has a bracket set up on a website that shall remain nameless and I wasted no time posting my daughter's bracket on there. Since I have lost to my wife every year we have been married I had to guarantee myself not finishing last. Without further ado, here are the bright spots of my daughter's bracket:

East Tennessee State, Radford, CSU Northridge, Cornell, American and Mississippi State will at least win one game.
Mississippi State and Cornell will meet in the Elite Eight.
Western Kentucky and Siena will make it to the Elite Eight.
Kansas, Cornell, Clemson and UCLA will be in the Final Four. (I picked all four to lose in the first round.)
Kansas will defeat Clemson to repeat as champions.

Add To The List

2009-03-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of really smart people out there trying to figure out just what has caused the mess America is in. I have heard a lot of explanations: rich people, poor people, Republicans, Democrats, white people, non-white people, gay people, straight people, banker people, home buyer people and on and on and on. Oh, and how could I forget the most mentioned reason, George W. Bush. I am not here to blame anyone but I do want to add a group to the list: crappy parents. Just today I came across two parents that clearly are contributing to the demise of humanity.

The first parent is an overzealous sports parent. A friend that I work with has taken on the unenviable task of coaching a freshman high school baseball team. He called me today to ask that I review an e-mail he was sending back to a parent that was complaining. For those people that live in Oregon that probably sounds impossible but trust that baseball season in California is already under way, but barely. My friend just coached the season's first game yesterday and already has a parent on his case.

The problem was that his son was playing in the outfield, made an error and another parent commented on the kid's blunder. Instead of telling the other dad to, "shut up," the two proceed to have a loud discussion behind the team dugout about how stupid the coach is. You see, the kid that made the error has played an infield position his entire life, not in the outfield. My friend doesn't think the kid has what it takes to play middle infield at this time but wants his bat in the lineup. Take it from me, it is to one's advantage to swing a good bat and be a suspect fielder. I was the exact opposite and my career peaked in 8th or 9th grade.

I will give my friend credit, his first draft at a response was very diplomatic, something I am terrible at when dealing with people of low intelligence. I did make some slight changes but was left wondering what in the world the dad was thinking? His son starts his first high school game because the coach wants his bat in the lineup and he's bent out of shape because an error was made. You have to figure that is probably going to be the only error made by the entire freshman team all season. It stinks that my friend has to deal with this parent all season but the person I really feel sorry for is the kid.

Not to be upstaged by the worst sports dad of 2009, I came across the laziest mom of the decade on my run today. Just when I think I have heard or seen the worst parenting in my life someone trumps it. There was a girl, maybe eight or nine, on her bicycle being followed by a small SUV around the neighborhood. From a distance I was confused/worried but as I got closer I realized I was witnessing very lazy parenting. Mom was in the car following the daughter around the neighborhood, barking orders at her if she was veering too far away from the far right-hand side of the road and using her phone to write e-mails. I know this because I was running very slow today (trying to avoid an injury from getting worse), was on the other side of the road for a good half mile and the mom was yelling out the driver side window even though her daughter was on the opposite side.

To top it off, it was clear from what can be seen from the driver side that mom should have asked Santa for a gym membership, running shoes or both. Maybe I'm being too mean but it seemed pathetic to me. I could never imagine having my daughter ask me to go on a bike ride and me responding by getting the car keys and hopping in the car.

I realize I have only been a parent for 11.5 months and that there is not one correct way to parent but these parents are terrible. Perhaps there are a lot of people out there that see nothing wrong with these two incidents. If that is the case it further proves my point that a primary reason for things falling apart is that too many parents are dropping the ball. Instead of blaming everyone else for our problems we might want to look at the branch hanging above us on the family tree and make sure our kids won't have to do the same thing. (I am speaking in general terms here, my parents allowed me to fail and weren't lazy.)

Hope You Noticed

2009-02-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

Ever since Alex Rodriguez joined the Yankees I have had a strong dislike for him. Leaving the Mariners to play for another bad team and make $252M didn't really bother me. None of us would think twice about leaving our current job to get paid twice as much even if it was cleaning bathrooms. Okay, maybe that's just me. When A-Rod decided to jump ship with the Rangers and find a team that wins more than it loses I lost all respect for the guy. Now I'm not afraid to admit that if he left the Rangers for, say, the Dodgers I might feel differently. But that is neither here nor there. The basic point is that Rodriguez could have gone down as the greatest player ever and instead will be looked at as a complete moron. And classifying him as such does not even take into account his dating Madonna about 20 years after it would have been a good idea. About 18 months ago, I decided to make public my views on A-Rod. Basically, my thinking went like this:

I think A-Rod is a loser and I don't like him.
He hits a lot of home runs.
He has gotten quite a bit bigger since his rookie year. (I realize he was only a teenager.)
Everyone but Griffey, Jr. (the only true natural) has been busted for steroids.
A-Rod doing steroids is something to think about.

Well, let's just say you can do more than think about A-Rod doing the juice. The knowledge of Jose Canseco continues to amaze. What all of this tells me is if you were a player I liked/admired before joining the Yankees, limit how many times you pee in a cup. A-Rod makes three now (Giambi and Clemens, the others) that I used to like then started to strongly dislike immediately after they turned their manhood over to Steinbrenner. Lucky f0r Mark Teixeira I haven't really been a fan of his so he can sleep well tonight.

One last thing. Don't let anyone convince you the MLBPA union is to blame for A-Rod's mess. He took steroids, end of story. Mark this on your calendars because I never take the side of unions.

Being Average Is Frustrating

2009-01-25T07:57:00.000-08:00

The UO basketball team is 0-8 in Pac-10 play right now. Perhaps when you read this they are 1-8 or 0-9, it really does not matter. Given the team's track record over the last nine years (the amount of time I have followed the team) one cannot be the least bit surprised that they would not be very good this year. Would one expect them to be one of the worst BCS conference schools? Doubtful. But hey, when the coach is able to set expectations at the beginning of the year and the local media and fans find that acceptable then an epically bad team is what you get. Just so you know, when it comes to most things in life I am not big on excuses. If you find this post infuriating, then you probably love to find excuses when things go wrong and will therefore not agree.

My assertion: Over the last nine years the Ducks are nothing more than an average Division I college basketball team. If being average is acceptable then I think the team and its staff is constructed in just the right way. If one aspires to be better than average then, well, it's not brain surgery.

Let's start with indisputable facts. Most of the historical information was found at Pac-10.org.

According to Ken Pomeroy, who is a math guy that tries to approximate the RPI, the Ducks are 139 out 344 (as of 11:20am on an 31, 2009). That really is not that good. There are all of 5 teams from BCS Conferences rated lower.
Over the last nine years the team has had an average (mean) finish of 5.5 in the Pac-10 Conference. So that nothing gets past anyone, the Pac-10 only has ten teams. From 2000-01 to 2008-09 the Ducks standing in the Pac-10 has been (6, 1, 5, 4, 8, 7, 3, 6, 10).
Since the Pac-10 Tournament returned the Ducks have been 10-4, with two titles. They missed the tournament entirely one year but that will never happen again since all teams are invited now.
The Ducks have been to the NCAA tournament four out of nine years, advancing to the Elite Eight twice and losing the first game twice.
The Ducks have been to the NIT a couple of times. For me, the NIT means absolutely nothing. All that is needed is a .500 record, which this day and age (30+ games and a ton of nonconference cupcakes) is not a big deal.

Okay now that the basic facts have been laid out there, some analysis is needed.

1. The last nine years of UO basketball have proven one thing: The Ducks are consistently inconsistent. The team has finished in the bottom half of the conference five out of nine times. The Pac-10 is nowhere near the strongest conference. My sources tell me the Ducks have had more talent during this run than at any other time in the program's history. My eyes tell me talented players have worn the jersey but really spotty team play has characterized the on-court performance.

2. I have not really seen a legitimate offense too often. Watching exceptionally fast-paced play is a lot of fun but it seems only a select few can actually thrive in that system. This year's offense in particular has been an abomination. My junior high team ran some set plays that required a bit more creativity than high post screens at the three-point line and long range three-pointers. I'm far from an expert but when Mike Montgomery puts Yao Ming's cousin in the game just to shove it in the Ducks' faces that he is one helluva coach that would be a good time to get the ball to the only good post player I have ever seen wear the green and gold.

3. I was unaware that freshmen players have to suck for the first few years. If I have to hear or read about a the Ducks having a young team one more time I will cry. Just last year I had to hear that the experienced Ducks were at a disadvantage because all of the good players were freshmen. This year, it is the exact opposite story. It simply makes no sense. Michael Dunigan is routinely talked about in the paper as very young and in need of a lot of seasoning. The best way to get that done is to play the guy, though it seems foul trouble does get in his way. I'm not sure he was in foul trouble at Cal but I think he was pulled out of the game for displaying a phenomenal post move, the drop-step daddy dunk. Perhaps he wasn't taken out immediately after but that play alone should have warranted a few more touches.

4. The coaches seem to be in complete denial. After every loss the team is "really close to getting over the hump" and "didn't quite execute the game plan." Am I the only one that actually watches the game? When multiple teams shoot their season-high field goal percentage it probably is not a reflection of really lucky shooting. When a team loses by 15+ points that is not a positive thing. It does not matter if things looked good for 18 minutes, the game is 40 minutes in duration. By the same token, a "close loss," anything less than ten I suppose, may not be that close. Last week's Cal game being a perfect example. At no point were the Ducks out of the game but at no point did it seem they had a chance to win. It is a hard feeling to describe but if you have felt it you know what I am talking about.

5. There also seems to be a lot of weird finger pointing. I remember when Aaron Brooks was a struggling junior I heard it was Luke Ridnour's fault because he left early and did not tutor Brooks. Really? Then last year the team did not meet expectations and it was because Brooks decided to enter the NBA draft after playing four years. How selfish could one be? The talk about having a really young team and making that an excuse is pathetic. When a team has a ton of seniors it is reasonable to expect that the team the following year will be young. As far as I can tell that is the only thing that can be assumed. Assuming that a team has to be awful because it is young seems like a bit of a stretch for me. Those are general themes, if you read a game report you can find numerous excuses for why something did not happen. Personally, I find great joy in trying to guess what those might be. If you want to try it, my only advice if you want to be correct is to try and be outlandish in your guesses.

6. The UO needs to offer a night class on how to properly arrange a team schedule. For the last eight years the preseason schedule has been chocked full of teams that are rated less than 250 in Ken Pomeroy's ratings. As much as I would love to see teams of lesser quality than those invited to the Les Schwab Invitational, a college gymnasium is not where I want to see them. Then what do you know, this year the schedule could be classified as ambitious and the team is full of freshmen (see above). Again, another point of bewilderment for me. Last year's team had all seniors and played very weak teams, this year's team has all freshman and plays decent teams. It should be fun watching a paper tiger in the early part of the season next year as the experienced bunch plays cupcakes. If history is any indicator of things to come then the opening of Matt Court should be hosting such heavyweights as: North Florida, Furman, Dartmouth, Sac State, Army, and Longwood. Should be easy to pay off the state bonds with those Final Four favorites. I don't know who is to blame for the scheduling but one would think the coaches and administrators are the culprits.

7. I was not aware that if a team recruits good guys that graduate then it means they cannot be good for the duration of their career. It is not a bad thing that the Ducks have good guys but I doubt they are the only team with good guys. Very few times do I hear about college teams rampant with jerks on the roster. For the most part it seems the vast majority of college players are guys you wouldn't mind your kids being friends with. There also is not a problem with players graduating but I don't think that is an excuse for bad on-court performances. Unless things have changed drastically since I graduated, the UO would never be confused for an Ivy League school. When all is said and done I do not think responsible men and consistent winning are mutually exclusive.

8. This does not necessarily reflect poorly on the basketball program but the local newspaper is an enabler. I get that there is only one show in town and if that show does not want to talk then one is screwed. I don't think that means the Register-Guard has to be an extension of the UO SID. After every failed weekend, you can count on a heartwarming off-the-court tale just like you can count on clouds in the sky. You can go to the paper's basketball blog and easily confuse it for goducks.com. There is a weekly update on players from the past and how well they are doing on and off the court. I suppose that is good but let's have a little bit of accountability. My favorite was when LeKendric Longmire (who did redshirt) was asked if he thinks all freshmen should be required to redshirt. This was clearly a question to placate the "there should not be any expectations placed on freshmen" crowd. Given the success of countless freshmen every single season, that is one of the worst questions ever asked.

I suppose this is as good a place to stop as any. If after reading this you think my expectations are that the Ducks should win Pac-10 Championships year after year and routinely make the Sweet Sixteen, then you are not a very good reader. I simply believe that the Ducks have the potential and should be a better-than-average program. Routinely finishing in the top half a respectable conference and therefore going to the NCAAs more times than not does not seem too ridiculous. I am okay with baby steps as long as they are forward. When Washington State is better equipped at rebuilding after having tremendous success it is time something happen. Oh wait, you're to tell me they are not having an epically bad year this year? And playing down to the level, or even comparing oneself to Oregon State, is a place I never thought the Ducks would be. If this is acceptable to you then you will leave a nasty comment on here and I am fine with that. I will leave you with one question to consider before commenting: Is there such a thing as a good coach or program that is by definition average?

A Distant Memory

2009-01-23T22:30:00.000-08:00

I suspect I may be writing a scathing blog about a certain UO team so I will try to endear myself to Duck fans by railing on Notre Dame football. This post is slightly dated but is something I have to do.

I grew up a huge Notre Dame fan. When I was a kid my family did not have cable (my parents waited until I left for college) so I only watched the games that were on the national networks. Add to that the fact that my dad is a Catholic from Iowa and there was only one team to watch. We would spend every fall Saturday watching Notre Dame beat up on people. We visited the campus, I purchased and still have a #3 jersey and I subscribed to Blue & Gold Illustrated. Name any player from the 90s and I remember them.

It will be a very long time before I forget watching Notre Dame defeat Florida State, then lose shortly thereafter to Boston College. I remember it like it was yesterday. Over the course of a week our basement in Virginia saw a wide range of emotions from a 10-year-old. I also remember Lou Holtz running out onto the field in a big game (can't remember the opponent) and pulling a player off of the field for being an idiot. I read books about great Notre Dame coaches, memorized lines in Rudy and even caught NBC's one or two obligated broadcasts of Notre Dame basketball. Who can forget the great LaPhonso Ellis?

I say all of this because the Notre Dame I grew to love no longer exists. And it has nothing to do with the won-loss record. There is one (well, he's nearly the size of three) man that has screwed Notre Dame up to a point where I hope the team fails. Charlie Weis is a joke. He has managed to ruin something that was once great. As this last season unfolded I hoped Notre Dame would lose every game. I tried not to watch their games because it was embarrassing. If only I had decided not to watch their bowl game. After seeing that abomination I have no choice but to renounce my membership in the Notre Dame fan club. Let's review:

1. This day in age it is not very nice to make fun of anyone for any reason but Charlie Weis is too easy. He is an arrogant snob who curses the individual that decided donuts should have holes in them. The guy is so pathetic that he sued the doctors that botched his shrink-the-stomach surgery. Not sure what the medical name of it is. I mean come on, take Obama's advice and be responsible for your own actions coach. Your lack of care for yourself (this includes the snot running down your upper lip into your mouth on cold days) reflects poorly on the team.

2. At first, you may think the first point is a low blow but it leads to a greater point, Charlie Weis' laziness translates into the way he coaches. His inability to pull his face out of a pasta dish has left his players far too cocky for a .500 team. And even worse, he is so lazy that he has pulled an Ernie Kent and dumbed down the Notre Dame schedule. As I grew up I always knew Notre Dame was going to play quite a few top teams. Now, Weis has decided the best way to save a job is to play the absolute worst BCS conference teams, every military school and USC. How can a true Notre Dame fan stand behind such a schedule?

3. Jimmy Clausen is a chump. During the Lou Holtz days a guy like Clausen would not even be allowed to step on campus, let alone quarterback the team. No one has had so much hype and been such a pansy. Watching him think he was the greatest player ever at the Hawaii Bowl made me puke. After every touchdown he would taunt the Hawaii sidelines and fans. Hawaii's defense was so bad it would be the same as me taunting third graders at a spelling bee. I look forward to the day that Clausen gets drilled by a military school linebacker and has to be carted off the field.

4. I have been over the coach being a lazy (insert any four-letter word you prefer) and having that trickle down through the program. You add to that the fact that the team loses more than it ever has and you have a sports equivalent to California's budget crisis. I'm all for losing control of a team if you win games but games must be won.

5. People go back and forth on loving and hating Notre Dame. It is this way because they used to be dominant. Now, they are anything but. There is no way anyone under 20 cares one way or the other about Notre Dame. They are now terrible. A lot of people point to losing Syracuse this last year as a really bad moment because the Orange had such a pitiful record. What seems to be forgotten is that Syracuse had already fired its coach before the game started. In the future this should be written into every coach's contract: If you lose at home against a team with less than three wins that has already fired its coach you must be terminated without compensation.

It would be too easy to point out what is wrong with Notre Dame without providing some solutions. The program has fallen apart and I have a very simple two-step solution. By following this advice Notre Dame may be able to save face.

1. Hire a head coach. Weis seemed to do a fine job calling plays from the press box during the bowl game. He was able to sit down, drink lots of soda, venture over to the press box buffet, drink lots of soda, partake in some chips and dip and eat some more buffet. As long as the intern remembers to laminate the play sheet to avoid grease marks Weis would be perfect for the OC job at Notre Dame.

2. Join the WAC. The WAC would still let their games be broadcast on NBC so that would not be a problem. By joining the WAC, Notre Dame would be able to improve its strength of schedule and slowly but surely win back respect. It would not be an overnight turnaround but it would be a step in the right direction.

If it is decided that this process is too involved, the school could easily just fire Weis all together and bring in a real coach with enough dignity to restore the luster to the gold helmet. It is up to those that actually have a vested interest in Notre Dame to make that happen. My days as one that cares about Notre Dame are over. It is sad to admit but I have to do it. I would be a terrible father if I rooted for a coach and a team that was so lame.

Ready To Explode

2009-01-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

Let this post serve as a warning. There is a Pac-10 basketball team that is one loss away from making me lose my mind. For the life of this blog I have been holding my tongue but things have gotten so pathetic I may have to let loose. Here is one clue as to which team I am referring to: They are two games behind Oregon State in the conference standings. That my friends, is the definition of pathetic. The same Oregon State team that did not win a single Pac-10 game last year and whose coach took a vacation for part of this week. Perhaps the unnamed school might want a similar schedule next week for its coach.

Greatest Day Ever

2009-01-20T22:46:00.000-08:00

President Barack Obama has taken over so all of our worries can go out the window. If he can't fix our problems then no one can. Though it seems he has an incredibly difficult job ahead of him all he needs to do if something goes wrong is blame Bush and no one will think twice. It does not matter if it is something that happens years from now or if it is a natural disaster that happens in the Great Lakes Region. I say all of this mostly tongue-in-cheek and actually hope he can pull everything off he wants to.

To call the man ambitious would be an understatement. Most families in America can't make necessary changes over the course of a presidency but Pres. Obama and his supporters seem to think he can change an entire country. It seems far-fetched to me but I am just being a downer. I am a bit more realistic so here are my suggestions for Pres. Obama and America for the next couple of years:

1. Let's just leave his daughters alone. Maybe it is because I have a daughter but are we that pathetic that we have to follow their every move? And please do not tell me that the daughter's outfits are so, so cute. No matter what a young girl wears, they are going to look cute.

2. Is it possible for a president to age gracefully while in office? The only presidents I really remember in my lifetime have been Clinton and the second Bush. Following their eight years of service they looked 20 years older.

3. Keep his word on one thing and one thing only. As I have mentioned he has set up quite a lineup of things to take on but the one that interests me the most is getting rid of government programs that are a waste. As one who thinks a vast majority of government programs are a waste I will be interested in seeing what fat gets cut. My premonition is that if any fat is cut it will only be replaced by more (think of a typical Oprah diet if you need a visual), but we will have to wait and see.

This list is not very daunting and should be very easy for Pres. Obama and Americans to tackle together. If it were just these two parties, something may actually get done. I hope all the best for Pres. Obama but suspect dealing with all of the clowns in Congress could make life more difficult than anything else.

Actual vs. Observed

2009-01-19T20:34:00.000-08:00

Today is not Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. It is the day we observe his birthday. Is it so hard to figure out? He was born on January 15th, the same day as my father. It is my assumption that since my dad celebrates his birthday on the 15th that MLK, Jr's birthday is the same every year. I completely understand why his birthday is observed today, just don't look foolish next year and assume that because you have the day off (you must work for the government) it is MLK's actual birthday.

I will give everyone a pass on it this year since David Gregory screwed this up. For those that don't know him he is now the moderator of Meet the Press. Only people that are complete nerds watch that when they are in their mid 20s, I get that. While the rest of you watched the Eagles storm back I watched a rerun of the show and heard Gregory mention that King would be 80 today. I was stupefied by his idiocy, but managed to watch the rest of the show. I am sure I screw things up on a daily basis too so I will let it go. But just this once, David.

Warning, I'm Back!

2009-01-17T22:37:00.001-08:00

It has been far too long. I was caught up in the holiday rush and neglected this blog. The Internet has suffered as a result and I apologize. It seems as though my wife is tired of hearing me ramble on and on and on about topics that have my interest right now. Some of the topics are away from the world of sports. So hold on because I may touch on something in the next few weeks that is near and dear to your heart. If I do, do not take offense. Consider it a compliment that I am paying attention to something of interest to you. As of now the line up for talking points will include (in no particular order): policemen, Duck men's basketball, teachers' unions, Notre Dame football, the changing of the guard in D.C., state governments, the juggernaut that is Duck football and whatever else strikes a nerve with me. I have been known to hold punches but that will stop so expect some gems. If a certain team starts their conference season 0-8 in the Bay Area next weekend, you will know exactly what I am talking about. On a lighter note, I hope 2009 is starting strong for you. If not, keep this blog in mind for when you need light reading.

2008 Upset Special Week #13

2008-11-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

Need to get this one in early since all of the JV college teams play in the middle of the week (Oregon State included!). Call me a hater but I cannot stand talk about non-BCS teams being Top 15 teams. Having to play no more than one good team a season does not allow one to claim they are worthy of inclusion with the big boys. Boise State is a cute story because they beat Oklahoma a couple of years ago, I get that. But you're to tell me a week after beating Oklahoma they would have been able to beat Texas, then Baylor, then Colorado, then Texas Tech, then Oklahoma State, then Oklahoma? Not a chance. (Notice I sprinkled in a couple of average BCS teams in there just for fun.) And I don't want to hear any talk about it not being fair to non-BCS teams. Is it fair that I couldn't get into an Ivy League school because my SAT, GPA and a variety of other things were not strong enough? I contend that it is.

I ramble on about all of this because tonight one of the spectacular non-BCS teams plays tonight. Ball State is at Central Michigan (+7). Central Michigan has a quarterback that is supposed to be the poor man's Tim Tebow. Whether or not that is true I have serious doubts. One thing I do not doubt is that if Ball State played Washington State the Cougars would not even be the third worst team they played. Go here to check out the gauntlet of football powers Ball State has had to encounter on their way to football glory. If I'm not mistaken only one of those teams has a winning record (Navy is 6-4). So there you have it. I have a strong dislike for non-BCS teams crashing the BCS just as you would have a strong dislike if I decided I should be a practicing medical doctor because it just seems fair.

Last Week: So maybe me being an upset special picker is just as foolish as non-BCS teams playing in big boy bowls.

Season-to-Date: 2-9. Still better than the Bengals and maybe the Oregon men's basketball team?

2008 Upset Special Week #12

2008-11-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

Not a lot of barn burners this week to choose from. After perusing the lines I was a bit surprised to see Oregon a touchdown favorite but there is no way I would pick that game. Nearly by default the game that will result in me having a winning streak is in the Big XII. Kansas State (+6) is hosting Nebraska. I do not even know the records of these teams I just know that I can't stand Nebraska and Kansas State is so bad their coach was fired already, though he is still coaching. With all of that it is a shock that College GameDay is not in Manhattan this week.

Last Week: Pure domination. As has been the case all year my pick pulled off the upset. The Hawkeyes saved the Big Ten a lot of embarrassment.

Season-to-Date: 2-8. When you're good you're good. What can I say?

2008 Upset Special Week #11

2008-11-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

Here we go again. This week's pick came down to two games. One in the Pac-10 (hint: Oregon's premier community college is heading to LA) and one in the Big Ten. Since I am such a charitable fellow I decided to go with the game from the Big Ten. I am making this pick because the Big Ten needs this upset to happen. It is an incredibly weak conference that is painfully boring to watch. In the event that the Big Ten has another undefeated team I am confident they would be able to weasel their way into the National Championship. My predictions have been admittedly terrible but I can guarantee a Big Ten team would get throttled in that game no matter who the opponent is. In essence, I am making this pick because I have the Big Ten's best interests in mind. The Iowa Hawkeyes (+7.5) will take down the Penn State Nittany Lions. This is the last chance anyone has of beating Penn State so why not go with the beloved Hawkeyes. Their coach may be the most overpaid and their roster may have the most convicts but you have to love Iowa.

Last Week: Only a certain Pac-10 team's special teams were worse than my pick.

Season-to-Date: 1-8, surprisingly right on par with the resurgent Bengals.

Cal Game Rehash

2008-11-07T23:32:00.001-08:00

This recap of the Cal game is not late because the Ducks lost. It is late because I just dried off and now feel confident I can use the keyboard without ruining it. I did not see what the rain looked like on TV but trust that it was far worse than you could have imagined. As one who just spent eight years in Eugene I can tell you it was the worst rain I have subjected myself to ever. I could go to every Cal football game for the next 50 years, combine the amount of rain that falls on me and not get rained on as much as I did Saturday. I was the only one in our group that had rain gear and I was completely soaked by halftime. Luckily what my friends and family lacked in rain gear they made up for with beer and liquor. If not for that stuff I would have been watching the game alone. We were there for the entire game if anyone doubted our commitment. Some thoughts on the game as I remember them a week later:

The Lasik did no good. My brother-in-law could see better than he has in years but BearVision still stunk. From the other side of the stadium it was impossible to distinguish what sport was being played let alone who was playing. So you know, I am not a facilities snob. You will not find me bragging about Oregon's this and Oregon's that. It's all about winning games in my book so that will tell you just how pathetic BearVision is.

As for the play on the field. In my prediction I predicted that the special teams would be the difference since I did not break them down. I will only say that that was a major understatement. Drops, blocks and misses were present throughout the game. Never have I seen an early 4th quarter missed field goal change the momentum of the game. Up until that point the vibe in the stadium was all Oregon's and everyone knew it.

I give Cal fans credit. After the game I did not see any of them treating Ducks fans like second class citizens. I embarrassingly assured my wife's uncle that when he comes to Autzen (he calls it Autism) next year Ducks fans will not return the favor. They may have been extra nice to us because they too were miserable but whatever the case I appreciated the apathy of Cal fans at that point.

In the days that followed friends told me they were bummed for me and wanted to know what I thought about Oregon losing its national ranking. Maybe I love being a contrarian (okay, I really, really love being a contrarian) but does being ranked 24th mean anything? My response has been, "If you're not in the Top 5 or 10 it really does not matter." Teams ranked eleven through 119 generally go to crappy bowl games or none at all.

Lastly, this does not have much to do with the Cal game but Bellotti need not be fired. I actually like Canzano, we share opinions on a certain basketball coach, but I think his latest article is a stretch. I will have more on my thoughts relating to expectations for Oregon Football after the Stanford game, win or lose. And the result of the game will have nothing to do with my thoughts.

A Small Political Rant

2008-11-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

(Warning: I am not a politician so when I talk politics it is real, not contrived. Therefore, I bounce from topic to topic and have a hard time making my points flow.)

I usually try not to talk too much politics on here. Though it is mentioned in the subtitle I figure it is best I leave that stuff alone. (Update: It is not in the subtitle. Oh well, you can still read this if you want.) Not too many people agree with my beliefs and certainly not very many people in my demographic. People enjoy reading what someone has to say about sports if they do not agree. It just fires them up to respond or wallow in the truth that was just read. When it comes to politics people take it far too seriously. The bottom line with thinking related to politics is that most people think their beliefs are the only ones. If someone else believes differently then they are terrible people. Don't believe me? Just be me in a journalism graduate school class during the '04 election and you will know what I am talking about.

Today the weird worlds of sports and politics intersected for me. As is my usual Friday tradition I wore a black polo shirt with a small, white Oregon 'O' on the left front breast. (I realize front breast is a bit redundant.) It very closely resembles the shirt that is to be worn at work so I have made the executive decision that I can wear it on Fridays. Before I made it to work I needed to stop at Kinko's to send out an item for express delivery. As I returned to my car a redneck came barreling through the parking lot. He glanced at my shirt and proceeded to 'M-F' me (sorry for not writing what he actually said, use your brain to figure it out) for wearing an Obama shirt. By the time I realized he was talking to me he had already passed. Trust me when I say that this guy was a redneck. He was driving a pickup, had a hat on with a bill that was curved to a near semi-circle, sported what looked like a Carhartt style jacket and well, said what he said.

The funny part about the incident is that if he had actually known what the 'O' on my shirt meant then he would have probably assumed I was an Obama backer anyway. Unfortunately, that is not the case. For fiscal reasons alone I am not prone to vote for a Democrat. And if the last few years are any indication, not a Republican either. Since I am so poor at this moment Obama's tax plan does not really tweak me. Rest assured, I am not out for handouts like a fair number of people. By the next election I hope to be close to needing a Republican in office for income tax reasons. I'll keep you posted on how that goes!

Now that I have tip-toed around the fact that I did not vote for Obama because I'm not that fired up about him I will try to win your hearts back. I abstained from making a selection on the presidential portion of my ballot. Maybe I am chicken but I could not bring myself to vote for someone just because. (The presence of the electoral college also made my vote pointless since I live in California and it was not going to be for Obama.) By choosing a running mate that is not smarter than me McCain lost my vote. That is one of my simple criterion when looking to vote for president. Are the people on the ticket smarter than me? I am not the smartest person so that is not a high bar to set but given Palin's performances I had to conclude that I would destroy her in any version of Trivial Pursuit. For those that want to say that T-Pursuit does not establish if one is smart or not, get a clue. It is meant as a joke. But if you know me you know you would bet your house that I would win that match up! Reading every word on the Internet allows for my brain to store an inordinate amount of pointless information.

The last little portion of the election that confuses me and forces me to question the intelligence of Americans is that local people did not get the boot like the national leaders. Though I am conservative (not registered with any party though) I found nothing wrong with Americans deciding it was time to give someone else a chance to drive the ship. But why doesn't that trickle down to the local offices as well? Here in my city things are just like they are elsewhere. Times are tough. But who wins the seats on city council? The incumbents. Give me a break. It is nice to put a new guy in the White House but what is he really going to do for the city. To be frank, nothing. The city council has a lot more to do with our day-to-day lives than does the POTUS.

Now that the American people have voted I hope Obama is up to the challenge. It takes tough skin to take the blame for everything that happens. You have to figure since Bush gets blamed for car wrecks, hang nails and attic fires that Obama will get blamed for weird things as well. As an American I am left to hope he can keep half the promises he made. We sure as hell know he made a lot of them. I am not going to stand in front of the Mormon temple and demand the results change because they are not as I would want them. Obama won fair and square so he is the one to take over and I can live with that.

In a terrible attempt to abruptly wrap this up I will return to my 'Oregon/Obama' shirt. After I chuckled at the idiocy of the redneck I got in my vehicle and proceeded out of the parking lot to the intersection. It just so happened that I was one lane over and one car ahead of the redneck at the red light. With my Oregon 'O' sticker on the back I can only assume he thought I was taunting him. His windows were rolled up by then so I was not able to hear the venom I assume he was spewing. How dare I wear an 'Obama' shirt and put an 'Obama' sticker on my vehicle!

Oregon vs. Cal

2008-10-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am headed over with a group of 13 to Berkeley tomorrow. It is a mixture of Ducks and Bears but we have one thing in common, we are family. Any time you can get the family out for a football game it is awesome. We are leaving early in the morning so we can tailgate with breakfast burritos, pastries and beverages of one's choosing. It all has me wondering if I am even going to be able to sleep tonight. The threat of rain (90% chance) does not bother me at all. Though sunshine would be nice, the opportunity to see the Ducks trumps that. There is not a single Duck fan that follows this blog that wants me to make a prediction so I won't. My upset specials have been anything but special. I will predict a couple of things though.

First, my brother-in-law (a Duck grad) has no idea how happy he will be that he got Lasik surgery done today. Though he may not be fully recovered, without the surgery he would have had zero chance of seeing the Cal video board. Now with those wicked shades the doctor provided him there is hope that he will be able to see a Duck touchdown on the screen.

My other prediction is that the game will be close. I do not see the Ducks winning a blowout and Tedford's ultra-conservative playcalling when in the lead means this one will be a nailbiter. I'll provide a layman's breakdown of the key positions.

The Ducks appear to have the advantage on the lines since Cal's O-line is banged up. The quarterback position isn't necessarily a strength for either side but if forced to I would give the slight edge to Oregon since for whatever reason Riley has not been the man for the entire season.

Running backs end up being a draw for me and that is because of the linebacker play. As long as I have been a Duck fan the linebackers have never been better than servicable. This year's bunch doesn't strike fear into anyone and when healthy (not sure how healthy he is at this moment) Jahvid Best is the type of runner that wreaks havoc on unathletic linebackers. On the other side the Ducks running backs are solid and so are the Cal linebackers. That is likely where the game will be won or lost.

I think both secondaries are overrated and more so if the weather is wet. If I'm Masoli I throw at whoever Syd'Quan Thompson is covering. Though he appears to be a Strawberry Canyon favorite I have not seen anything from him that suggests he can actually cover a receiver. His name gets called a lot because he has a knack for tackling the receiver that just caught the ball in front of him. Hopefully the Ducks defensive line is able to make a mess of the pocket so that Riley doesn't have time to find the open receivers.

I admit to knowing very little about the special teams play for either team. Contrary to popular belief I actually have a life. So you have to figure the kickers, along with the weather, is what will decide the game since I have not broken them down. As for the prediction: I'm going 30-27.

2008 Upset Special Week #10

2008-10-31T22:27:00.000-07:00

My success with this weekly post has been phenomenal. It's a minor miracle that a major news network or Vegas casino hasn't hired me. This week I'm heading to the SEC. I see that Auburn is a 6.5 point underdog at Ole Miss. Auburn has had a terribly disappointing season. My hunch is that their defense will hold Ole Miss to less than 10 and score at least 10 on their own. In essence I am picking the Auburn defense to defeat Ole Miss.

Last Week: Do you even have to ask?

Season to Date: 1-7. When all is said and done the record will show that the Pac-10 refs screwing UW in week two did more than cost Ty Willingham his job.

Cal Game Prelude

2008-10-28T22:38:00.001-07:00

This should have been posted a while ago but now is as good a time as any. I went to the Cal vs. ASU game a few weeks ago. First things first, it sure brought back terrible memories. The last and only time I had been there before was the site of "The Drop." If my memory serves me right, a Duck who shall remain nameless dropped a crucial pass right in front of the seats I was sitting in for this game. What a horrific moment to relive.

Now some random observations from the game:

The atmosphere at Cal games is very weak. They seem to think they are a big time bunch of fans but they have a dudeleader yelling into a megaphone/pa system telling them what to do. For me a lot of Duck fans are major homers but that sure beats having a trust fund, frat kid reminding me to get "moderately louder so that the opponent has difficulty converting on third down and long, which is defined by being seven yards or greater." So maybe those weren't his exact words but they were similar.
It's no wonder the fans need to be clued in on what's going on. If the folks sitting around me are any indication of the fan base then I would guess they prefer to attend art shows, not football games. The man seated right in front of me was a nice guy. He seemed like the type of guy that has two or three advanced degrees and works in a bookstore. Here are some of his gems:

"Hard yards, but well earned." (After a decent five or six-yard run.)
"One more opportunity to shine." (After a big play was called back on a holding penalty.)
"That was a work of beauty." (After a touchdown pass.)
"No creativity on that run." (After an unforgettable kickoff return.)
"Not a very distinguished series." (After a patented second half drive by a Tedford team that goes three and out, giving the impression that he has no desire to score and wants the opponent to stay in the game.)
"I hope you have a bulletproof car." (Yelled at referee after a questionable call. This one came out of nowhere but no one else seemed to think it was a weird thing to yell when the stadium was completely silent. And it got me thinking: What if a fan from say the Southeast or Midwest had said the same thing would the tolerant liberals of Berkeley had shrugged it off as no big deal? Oh, I am sure they would have. What am I thinking?)

I did not go to Cal but was offended by what they call a video screen. As a California resident who pays taxes that support the school I can't believe that is all the athletic department can muster. From the other side of the field it looks like nothing more than a 47" tube television seen at any number of grandparents' homes across America. Simply pathetic.
If this does not describe Cal then nothing does. Between the first and second quarter the UC Chief of Police was honored for doing such a wonderful job handling the tree protesters. Are you kidding? This is government at its finest. The man does nothing for over a year and gets recognized publicly for it. And to top it all off the crowd actually stands and claps for him. My conscience does not allow me to respect a place that thinks law enforcement's job is to do absolutely nothing and let hippies run anything but a commune.
I did not spend all of my time trying to rip on Cal. Through squinting eyes I did notice that they did a great job on one video shown on the big screen. As part of Homecoming they had a recent graduate spend a couple of minutes describing the fun she had as a Cal student. The genius part of the thing was that this recent graduate was very good looking. For a brief moment in time I wondered what it would have been like to go to Cal and I was not the only one. One gentleman I went to the game with who is 47-years-old seriously considered pursuing baccalaureate studies after the video ended.
Finally, I did learn something worthwhile that day. I now know how to determine if a college football rivalry is a real rivalry. Notre Dame is involved in the equation. If you hate Notre Dame more than the team in question then a rivalry does not exist. A true rivalry is like Cal vs. Stanford. When the score was announced that Notre Dame had beaten Stanford there was a unanimous cheer celebrating the Stanford lost. In comparison, I'm pretty sure the typical Duck fan is still tickled pink about Oregon State's Fiesta Bowl win way back when. To prove my point further let's pretend we are at Autzen. If Oregon State is beating Western Washington there is polite applause and a few cheers. If Notre Dame is losing in the first quarter by one point to Virginia it sounds like Oregon just scored a touchdown, minus the horn. So when someone tries to tell you that a rivalry is fierce just add Notre Dame to the equation to see if it really is. And if anyone can explain to me the vitriol Ducks fans have for a team that they have not played or had any reason to care about in the last 30 years please tell me.

2008 Upset Special Week #9

2008-10-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

I promise I have not seen the results. Just got home from a long day. My pick this week is SJSU over Boise State. I heard on the radio that the spread was 7 so I should be good. This pick is simple. Boise State's schedule is as offensive as the preseason Oregon men's basketball schedule the last few years. Not this year though. Now that we have all freshmen we play harder teams, go figure. Rest assured I will delve into that phenomenon soon. Back to Boise State, I can't stand their schedule. You hear about people ripping on the SEC preseason schedule for being lame. Well, Boise State plays that schedule for an entire season. For all of the faithful Boise State fans out there I do know they beat Oregon this year. There is nothing I can say about that. Let's hope in turns out being a good Oregon team. Only time will tell. Now onto ESPN.com to see if I am already wrong.

Last Week: Nothing is working for me.

Season-to-Date: 1-6, still doing better than the Bengals.

2008 Upset Special Week #8

2008-10-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

My apologies for missing last week. I am sure whatever team I was going to pick was heartbroken that I did not take the time to do it. I have a good excuse for missing though. I was busy planning a Grand Opening for the family's new business I am working for. Here is the website if you are interested.

Due to my tailbone (read the post below) I am making this quick. Iowa State is the pick. I do not even remember who they are playing. After scouring the lines earlier in the week that is the one that stood out to me. I could take the easy way out and pick Washington State over USC but have decided I want that second correct pick to be something special.

Two Weeks Ago: Loss, real shocker there.

Season To Date: 1-5. Just think, if I were a Bengals fan I would be thrilled to see that in the AFC standings!

I Miss Eugene

2008-10-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would say the above words. Eugene is a nice enough place but let's just say Eugene and I do not agree on much of anything. I think transients are a bad thing, Eugene advertises to the transient demographic that it is a wonderful place to stay. I like to have parks for kids to play in, Eugene likes to have parks for dogs. I tend to think drug use is not a redeeming quality, Eugene prefers that one uses drugs. I could go on and on but you get the picture.

Well, tonight I wish I was in Eugene. That is assuming there is a softball league in Eugene that plays this late into the year. The one thing I learned from Eugene is that sometimes things aren't worth caring about. For me that is city league softball. It is fun to get out there but I will not dive, I will not slide and I do not really care if my team wins. There are far too important things to worry about in a typical week for me to get stressed out over softball. In our city league down here some people live for their city league game each week. They wear pinstriped baseball pants, cleats, fitted baseball hats, batting gloves, etc. Just for reference I wear tennis shoes, no hat, shorts and a long sleeve dri-fit.

Let's cut to the chase. In tonight's game I got completely ran over by a guy in pinstriped baseball pants as he was running the bases. My team has me playing third because the only reason I played varsity baseball was because I could field and throw. My hitting is not so strong. It probably reflects that I am not that strong to begin with but that is not important right now. Said moron in baseball pants at a city league softball game had no reason to run home so he stopped on third base. Knowing this is what he was going to do I did not move from standing on the foul line between third and home in the event of a throw. However, this guy decides that because I am in the base line he will take two or three steps, charge me, shove me and knock me flat on my back. For someone that is not a landscaper or road construction worker I thought the guy went a little too far to prove I was in the baseline. His teammates thought he was a hero and wondered why the umpire would not let him advance to home for my mistake of being in the baseline.

After getting up and realizing my tailbone is going to hurt like crazy tomorrow (why I am writing this now and not going to bed, just trying to delay the inevitable) I said a few things as I am prone to do. I made fun of the guy for caring way too much about city league softball and told the fat guy coaching third base to shutup and think about getting exercise. (Later in the game the fat third base coach guy sprained his ankle running the bases and I reassured him he would be okay since he is in such good shape.) I ashamedly admit to using a bad word at one point when yelling at their bench. It truly is out of character for me and looked even worse because I am playing on my church's softball team. At least it was a word I have seen in the Bible before. Jesus rode one of them on what we celebrate as Palm Sunday in case you cared. Hey, everyone has their faults and I am the first to admit it.

I tell this lengthy story because I know if I played a game in Eugene tonight no one would have cared enough about something so meaningless to make my tailbone's weekend miserable. It does make me feel good that the moron that ran me over has an arm at shortstop that is more suited for a co-ed division, if you know what I mean. If I threw like he did while wearing pinstriped baseball pants at a city league softball game I would probably try to act like a jerk too. It is far more acceptable to be remembered for being a classless punk than it is to throw a softball like my seven-month old daughter throws pacifiers. And you know I let him know I was impressed with his throwing arm, I just couldn't resist myself.

2008 Upset Special Week #6

2008-10-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

Since I am heading out the door to Berkeley for some California vs. ASU football I have to make this quick. My strategy this week was to pick the first game I came to on the list with a spread near seven. Lucky for me it was the first one. NC State (+8) will beat Boston College at home. There is no doubt in my mind. If you are a Wolfpack fan, I am sorry for doing this to you.

Last Week: Don't even ask.

Season-to-Date: 1-4

2008 Upset Special Week #5

2008-09-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

After scouring the sports page this morning I am left to assume the Sacramento Bee made a mistake. Duke is favored by seven points against Virginia. I realize Virginia stinks but Duke has defined the word for my entire lifetime. Just recently Duke was sued by Louisville for breach of contract by backing out of some games. As part of its defense Duke said it was the worst team so Louisville should have no problem replacing them on the schedule with a team of similar stature. That is the Cliff's Note version, find more here. Duke ended up winning the case so I am left to go with the courts on this one. Thomas Jefferson's school will pull this one out.

Last Week: Don't ask. It was better than the week before though.

Season-to-Date: A gross 1-3.

Starting Over

2008-09-22T17:15:00.000-07:00

Much like those on Wall Street I am in need of a do-over. My strategy in picking an upset special every week is a complete and utter failure. Choosing a team whose coach I believe to be on the hotseat is not working out, for obvious reasons I know. The only thing worse than my last upset special may have been Oregon's defense but that is certainly up for debate. I do know my upset special pick was better than the special teams play of the Ducks though. A new strategy in picking an upset special has not been defined. I have spent the last couple of days trying to get over just how bad my last two picks have been. The craziest thing is that I almost felt like a winner this week since my pick only lost by 20-something as opposed to 59. Baby steps I suppose. At this rate my pick on October 4th might be in line for an actual win. I will be at the Coliseum watching one team that will be a severe underdog hoping they pull off a miracle. For that reason alone I am not picking the Ducks against USC because that would all but ensure a long drive home for me. This week's pick will be the beginning of a long road back to .500 for me. Probably just as long of a road for the Pac-10 (minus USC) to gain any respect from anyone.

2008 Upset Special Week #4

2008-09-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

It is probably a good idea to venture away from the Pac-10 since the last couple of weeks have been tough to take. I have had this pick in my sights for a whole week now. I admit to not being too confident in this pick but at some point the favored team's trash talk about its opponents is going to come back to bite them. Pardon the pun since they are known for waving their arms in a fashion that is supposed to resemble a chomp. I think it looks more like a variation on every two year olds favorite game, pattie cake, but that's just me.

This week's pick is the host Tennessee (+7.5) over Florida. Tennessee did lose to UCLA and, well, that is pathetic but I sense the players want to save their coach's job. This theory nearly worked for my Washington pick until the Pac-10 got in the way and I suspect the SEC officials will be dotting their I's and crossing their T's so let's take a chance on this one.

Last Week: The few people that do read this blog made fun of my pick and they have every right to. A weaker man would quit doing these picks after UCLA's performance but I am going to stick it out. I do stand by my assertion even more though. The Bruins will be back in the thick of playing for second place in the Pac-10 before too long so take advantage now.

Season to Date: 1-2

2008 Upset Special Week #3

2008-09-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

Things are really busy around our place. Trying to get things in order for a little get together to watch the Ducks in HD. As a result, the upset special breakdown is very simple. UCLA over BYU. Earlier in the week UCLA was about a 9-point underdog and I feel good about this one. Lost in all of the referee hubbub is that BYU stinks. UCLA on the other hand, Pac-10 teams better beat this year and next because they are going to be scary good very soon. Or so I predict.

Old White Men Ruin Everything

2008-09-06T21:36:00.001-07:00

Once again the Pac-10 officials have shown their true colors. It never ceases to amaze me. Just one week after the conference had a great weekend on the field, the officials steal all of the thunder. And to top it all off the refs jobbed my upset special this week. No one needs to tell me that the game would have gone into overtime with a made kick (BYU had no chance of stopping Locker) and they still had a great chance to make the extra point with the penalty. That is not the point. The point is that Pac-10 leadership is a joke.

As of tonight they are defending the referee for making a call by saying a flag had to be thrown since it was not a judgement call. The defense for this is that the rule says you cannot throw the ball high into the air. Would the old, fat white guy please explain to me how he defines 'high' since there is no definition in the rule? My definition for high is so complex there is no way I would ever be able to throw a flag. I take into account elevation from sea level, speed at which the ball is thrown, when the ball is thrown, where the ball lands, what the follow through looked like, if the guy has a hot girlfriend and a bunch of other pointless variables. Every time someone back east rips on the Pac-10 they have every right to. The refs are brutal, the commissioner is brain dead and the media contract offends me. The product on the field is spectacular, ask Ohio State after next week's game, but everything else seems second rate.

This egregious error in judgement ruined my perfect upset special season, probably ensured Ty Willingham will be looking for a job about four months from now and increases the chances of my sleeper pick (Chip Kelly) being in contention for the UW job. That is the other part that bothers me. Willingham gets a lot of credit, and rightfully so, for being a class act but at some point he needs to show emotion. His team got royally screwed and all he could do was roam the sideline as if it were warm ups and then say the ref made the right call in his press conference. Here are his words (remember to read them in a boring monotone voice), "It's one that they almost have to call. It really should be a no-call, but it's one they have to call when they see it."

Willingham needs to stand up for his team in this instance and didn't. They should have taken the keys to his courtesy car as he left the podium and paid him his severance in pesos. I am 1,000 miles away, never played a down of tackle football in my life and hate the Huskies but somehow cared 10 times as much about that terrible call as Willingham did. My wife should have called an unsportsmanlike penalty on me for throwing the remote too high. I suppose she figured I had reason to lose my cool. If only Pac-10 refs had the smarts of my wife.

2008 Upset Special Week #2

2008-09-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

After scouring the betting lines for this weekend's games there were not many candidates. A lot of "no chance at an upset" type games. Then I got near the bottom of the list and one game stood out: BYU @ Washington. Washington is a 9-point underdog so they're the pick. This boils down to one person and he is Jake Locker. I think he is a phenomenal athlete and hope he can turn into a phenomenal quarterback. The guy played some wooden bat college summer baseball and according to Baseball America was the top prospect in that league. I don't think he has even played baseball in a couple of years. The rationale behind this pick is pretty simple and is as follows:

The old-timers back from their Mormon missions have no chance of containing Locker.
Washington has to win this game to save Willingham's job because they are not beating Oklahoma next week.
I do not think Washington will play as poorly this week as last.

Last week: Stanford did beat Oregon State in a great ball game. I've already rehashed this brilliant pick so won't do it again.

Season to Date: 1-0

Pac-10 In Review - Week 1

2008-09-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

I admit to watching very little football this weekend. It was not because I did not try though. At the very last minute a long-time friend and his wife invited us to spend the weekend with them at a cabin near Santa Cruz. My very first question was whether or not there was a TV and if it had FSN. The answer was no. I then told them I would talk to my wife and she would decide if we went. Needless to say she thought very little about watching the Ducks game and we went. It was a great time had by all. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology I was able to follow the action on my phone so it was not all that bad. In the end, I accumulated some bonus points that I will cash in at a later point in the season. Not all was lost as I had a fresh boysenberry pie at about halftime of the Ducks game to celebrate certain victory. As for the happenings in the Pac-10 from a very uneducated point-of-view:

Stanford was my hero of the weekend until Monday night. Putting a hurting on Oregon State was great to see. I suppose I have finally been able to forgive Stanford for ruining a perfect season way back in 2001. Man, that was a very long time ago.

Oregon State coach Mike Riley is smarter than all of us. After much thought I have determined he loses early season games intentionally. He sets the bar so low that if Oregon State comes close to beating Penn State this week then he looks like Vince Lombardi. With Oregon State fans only hoping for a bowl appearance every year he has the cushiest job in America. Well done, Mike.

UCLA versus Tennessee was the only game I saw this weekend (unless you count Oregon's game on TiVo). It was a phenomenal game to watch. There is no way UCLA should have been close let alone win. Now I know this next sentence will banish me from any special Ducks, Huskies or Buffaloes clubs but I have to say it. I kind of like Neuheisel. I really don't think he is cheating now but he found a way to win that game with a rag tag bunch of misfits (not including the defensive line). A few more wins like that and he will retire early to become a motivational speaker.

Washington got beat by a far superior team. It certainly will not be the last time this year. I would have guessed they would show up and try to save Willingham's job but that did not happen. If I am a UW fan I have Chip Kelly as my darkhorse for next year's coach. His offense has destroyed the Huskies twice now. Luckily, for the Ducks UW has not had an athletic director for months so maybe they will have no idea who to hire.

California-Berkeley is probably my least favorite Pac-10 team. They are the closest team to my current residence and everyone knows I like to hate the hometown teams. My wife's uncle has season tickets to the Bears so when they struggle it makes it so much more fun to talk to him. Beating Michigan State by a touchdown is lame. According to the paper the game was not that close but Longshore found a way to keep the Spartans in it. What was he doing in the game?

Arizona beat up on Idaho. Wow, very impressive. Who's up next, University of Alberta? There preseason schedule is offensive to me.

Arizona State did not play anybody very good either if I'm not mistaken. All I know about their weekend is that their indoor facility blew down. That is God's way of telling them an indoor facility in Tempe is a complete waste of money and space I suppose.

Washington State needs to be kicked out of the Pac-10 immediately. I do not care who replaces them. The school does not even have to field a football team. Just somebody take their place NOW!

USC manhandled Virginia. I have not seen a single highlight from the game but I gather from the score that things must have gone well for Petey. Everyone knows the true competition for USC comes during Pac-10 play so look for much of the same against the most overrated team in the history of sports next weekend.

Oregon looked great and I am very happy about it. Jake Locker was a non-factor to my surprise. Did anyone else notice the Oregon DBs were tucking their jersey bottoms into their shoulder pads showing off their stomachs? Reminded me of watching Miami play back in Ray Lewis' day. The one thing that does worry me a bit is that Oregon used its fourth quarterback by the second or third quarter of the first game. The Masoli pick up in the summer may have been Bellotti's greatest coaching move.

One last thing, I have been spreading the Duck gospel down here. A couple of weeks ago I asked my coworkers if they liked college football? No one really did. Can't really blame them with Sac State being the hometown team. That did not deter me from talking about the start of the season and the Oregon Ducks. Come to find out I show up to work today and I'm the only one that did not watch the game live. They were all fired up about the Ducks and congratulating me on the win as if I had something to do with it. One lady I work with even told me she got home on Saturday night, checked her satellite and called her provider to upgrade so she could get the channel the Ducks were on. I thought everyone got FSN but who knows. I do have to report that not a single one of them liked the uniforms though. Oh well, I'm sure their kids did.

Just As I Thought

2008-08-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

It turns out that Stanford was a three-point underdog tonight. That it was that small was a bit surprising to me but the Oregon State performance was not. I realize Mike Riley is a low-key guy but he certainly did not look surprised on the sidelines that his team went down in flames. He has it all figured out. Lose next week to Penn State and have the fans all over him and then pull out a winning record by season's end and play in the Tupelo Rotary Club Bowl played on December 12th. There is nothing wrong with that as long as the boosters approve of it and the folks in Corvallis have shown they enjoy trips to Mississippi in the winter. I do apologize that I picked such an easy game. It is like a major league player playing slow-pitch softball with 12-year-olds but I had to get off to a strong start. I knew there was a reason Oregon State exists. They always find a way to boost my self-esteem.

2008 Upset Special Week #1

2008-08-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

By golly, this is the year I am going to pick a game every single week of the season. In the past my weekly schedule during the football season was a nightmare. It seemed like I could never get in a groove and find the right time to pick a game. This year is going to be different but my first pick is a staple of my upset picking history.

The Stanford Cardinal will defeat the Oregon State Beavers. If there is one thing that is constant in college football it is that the Beavers season will go something like this. Lose a couple of games early in the season against really inferior competition, Mike Riley starts taking heat and rightfully so, win the games they are supposed to and pull out an upset or two in Pac-10 play, qualify for a ninth-tier bowl game, win bowl game against a I-AA team and sing the praises of Mike Riley for the entire offseason. Now you know why I feel so good about this pick. To be honest I do not even know what the betting line is or if Oregon State is the favorite but I am making that assumption. (Do recall that I will generally pick games with betting lines of six or more.)

I must say that the Ducks vs. Huskies game has me nervous. Usually that is a good sign for the Ducks though. There is something about Jake Locker that is likely keeping Nick Aliotti up all night this week. And something else tells me Ty Willingham is quite thankful that he has to beat Justin Roper and not Nate Costa. One of these days things will go right for Willingham but Saturday is not one of those days.

College Football Is Here!

2008-08-28T17:16:00.000-07:00

I admit to loving college football more than a lot of people. Just so you know exactly how I feel about college football. I mean that I love football more than I love some people. Not that I love it more than other people love it. In fact, only my family and really close friends receive more love from me than does college football.

At this time of year my mind is on one thing and one thing only, college football. With the Dodgers incapable of winning a single game and the Broncos looking to be an average squad could you really blame me? I am even thinking about college football at church. This last Sunday our pastor started a seven-week series. When he announced the seven-week part I immediately thought, "Wow, the college football season will be half over by that time. Will the Ducks be in contention? Is that about the time I go to the Ducks vs. Cal-Berkeley game or is that after the series is over? I love college football. I love pie. You know what? I'm going to have some pie while I watch the Ducks play Washington next weekend." About this time I realized I had missed the pastor telling us what topics were going to be covered during the series. I suppose that just means I will have to go every Sunday. Thankfully Oregon plays on Saturdays!

Where's The Love For Griffey?

2008-08-24T22:04:00.001-07:00

A week ago I was able to go with some friends to the Oakland A's vs. Chicago White Sox game. It was a great time had by all. We took the train from Sacramento to McAfee Coliseum (it's name may have changed since then), which was incredibly convenient and since no one needed to drive you can imagine what happened on the train. The game got off to an incredible start because we were one of the first 10,000 fans in the building, which meant we received a Dave Henderson jersey. To my surprise it was not a t-shirt but an actual button-down jersey. The only thing that could have been improved was that both sides of the shirt had the "e" so if it was really hot (it was) and you decided not to button the jersey it said "Athleetics". Oh well. Some other observations:

A's trades - Most A's fans are tired of all of the trades. This year has been especially hard to handle with Billy Beane trading the entire pitching staff. When a kid threw out the first pitch everyone pleaded for Beane to sign him up and not trade him. Same was said if anybody made a play on a foul ball in the stands.

I'm old - I was sitting next to some 8 or 9-year-olds and their favorite player was Jermaine Dye. It never occurred to me until then that those kids have not been around long enough for Ken Griffey, Jr. to be their favorite player. I had to try to explain to them that if they were my age they would have no other reason but to love Griffey (the only clean slugger of his generation).

Chavez brother - Eric Chavez has a brother that hit two home runs against my high school team in a Spring Break tournament way back when (see above). Well, now he is the bullpen catcher for the A's. Apparently Eric pays his salary and he gets to pretend he is a major league baseball player. This was the first time I ever wished I was not the oldest child.

Cal fans - I was with one guy that has Cal Bears football season tickets. We had a great time ribbing each other. I probably would not have been so liberal with my trash-talk had I known the Ducks' starting quarterback was going to have a secretive injury but I'll take the heat if I have to. Back to Cal fans. The guy I was with yelled, "Go Bears" to a fan sitting behind him and got nothing. It was as if he had forgotten he was wearing a Cal hat and shirt. Then on BART the same situation happened. I suppose that is why Cal football sucks. The fans are too busy trying to win Nobel Peace Prizes and whatever else Cal folks do to care about something as important as football.

Hammer pants - The best moment of the game was the die-hard A's fan sitting in the first row of the leftfield bleachers (we were in about row 8) wearing A's Hammer pants. I suppose since M.C. Hammer is from Oakland that those pants are acceptable. What is not acceptable is that this die-hard fan that looked a lot like he was homeless (long hair, scraggly beard, aforementioned Hammer pants, waved a giant A's flag, etc.) dropped a home run ball that was right to him. To top it off he tried to use his hat to catch the ball and both the ball and hat ended up on the other side of the fence. Needless to say Hammer pants fan had food thrown at him and a drunk firefighter get in his face and berate him for dropping the ball. I felt bad for him but that did not stop me from laughing.

Short game - After seeing the White Sox score eight runs in three innings we decided to leave the game. That certainly is the earliest I have ever left an event of any kind but it was a good decision. The A's ended up losing by about two touchdowns.

Best homeless sign - I spent eight years in Eugene so I consider myself an expert on homeless signs. In fact, I saw more homeless signs than hot girls but that just means there were a lot of signs. As we left the ball game to head to San Francisco for the rest of the afternoon (imagine 12 guys walking through the city with the same A's jersey, it was hilarious) we passed a homeless gentleman with the following sign: "Family kidnapped by ninjas, need money for karate lessons!"

Faking The Opening Ceremonies

2008-08-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

Well, news in recent days has shown the Opening Ceremony to be a bit of a farce. I can't say that I am very surprised. The fact that the IOC gave a country with a horrendous human rights record the Olympics suggests a lot of things they have done have been a joke. It is one thing to use computer generated images to make aerial shots of the fireworks seem more impressive but to have a small girl lip sync the national anthem is pathetic. Apparently the girl with the best voice needed some help from an orthodontist so they made her sing it and then had a "prettier" girl "perform" it for the world to see. As if anybody cares what a 7-year-old's teeth look like when she is singing. The whole idea of looks being important in this instance is creepy on so many levels. If they are going to fake the Opening Ceremonies I have a sneaky hunch they'll do whatever it takes to win a medal. China is such a great place, I really wish I could raise my daughter there.

(Photo from Getty/AFP.)

NBC Dropping The Ball

2008-08-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

The West Coast and Pacific Time Zone are two things that cannot be beat. Getting to watch entire Monday Night Football games and every college football game allows this side of the country to accurately critique football teams. We do not let the New York Times tell us which teams are good because we can see it for ourselves. When it comes to these Olympics though NBC is being (a not so kind name according to my father-in-law). Why on earth did I have to wait until 11:30pm to watch the men's 4x100m swimming relay last night? It happened at around 8:30PDT.

I am not a television ratings genius but I have a feeling shows between 8 and 9 get far better ratings than shows on between 11 and 12. To make matters worse NBC hit me below the belt by saying Phelps started at 10:00pm. Yeah, the swimming did and maybe they did a short piece on him around 10 but the relay was long after that. If NBC can send HD all the way from China to California then they sure as hell can move around tape recorded events so I can watch the events without having to be completely worthless at work the next morning.

Now I do not want to sound like I hate another country (I likely will anyways though) but why did we have to hear the Japanese national anthem last night before the relay? I patiently waited for Phelps and the guys all night long and they delay it even more so I can see that. Put a montage of national anthems at the end of the broadcast if it is so important. Call me an American pig but I have absolutely no interest in watching that at 11:00pm or whenever it was. And just when it couldn't get any worse NBC decided the Star Spangled Banner was not necessary after the amazing relay. In reality that didn't bother me since a guy from France with a name pronounced just like my mother's (a fairly feminine name here in the States if you ask me) choked. Seeing a Frenchie (an American swimmer's word, not mine) with a girlie name cry in the pool was a great way to finish the night. I just wish it had been a couple of hours earlier.

Late Look At Opening Ceremonies

2008-08-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

The incredibly confusing time difference makes a late recap of the Opening Ceremonies acceptable. I am a huge fan of the Olympics. During the Olympics I hate every competitor that is not American. I realize having outrageous American pride is not cool these days but I do very few things that are cool. A sappy story from NBC does nothing to change my opinion. If you are not wearing the Stars and Stripes then I am rooting for you to lose, get hurt, quit or all of the above. To top it all off I strongly dislike China at all times so I am really getting into these Olympics. I stayed up what seemed like all night to watch the Opening Ceremonies and noticed some things. It started at 7:30pm and ended at midnight. Since becoming a new dad midnight now seems like 4:00am but I battled through and made it to the end. I commend myself on getting the Games off to a very strong start and setting the tone for the rest of the team. Now the in-depth analysis:

China is stupid - They spent $300M on the Opening Ceremony, which is nothing short of ridiculous. I could care less if Bob Costas wants to blow hot air about how beautiful and miraculous it is. China is a pathetic Communist country that should be spending its money in better ways. We are only two days into these Games and I am sick of the American media spending all of its time talking about how great Beijing is. Costas and all of the others are scared to say anything truthful about China so I hope they stick to talking about the competition and leave commentary on the actual country to people that aren't sell-outs. Okay, I'm done ranting on China. There are not enough fireworks in the world to make me change my mind.

China is really stupid - A country that appears to be larger than the United States has one timezone! Please don't let any person that loves bashing Americans (this includes pretentious Americans) tell you Chinese people are smarter than we are.

Attractive athletes - You know some of the South American athletes are very attractive when I find myself appreciating their presence at the Games and could find myself rooting for them. Did anyone else notice the only athlete they showed from Paraguay?

Random countries - Since all countries, for the most part, are a part of the Olympics I shouldn't be surprised to see a country competing but I was. I would expect to see Palastine if suicide car bombing were an event or Nicaragua if drug cartel efficiency were a factor in gymnastics judging.

Familiar face - The gentleman holding the flag for Belarus looked eerily familiar to an ophthamologist I know in Eugene, OR. Not too many mustached men with gray hair holding flags in Beijing.

Fashion police - I am famous for having an impeccable sense of style. Recently I asked my wife if a black polo would look good with brown pants and was laughed out of the bedroom. (Please no jokes about being laughed out of the bedroom. I have thought of them on my own so it wouldn't be orginal.) Come on, I thought black went with everything. With that being said the Hungarian women were wearing white dresses with large red flowers. They looked an awful lot like a dress my mom wore in the late 80s for one of our Easter family pictures. Hungary was not the worst dressed folks though. Someone in Denmark thought it would be a good idea to wear jort capris. Maybe appropriate at an SEC football game but certainly not the Olympics.

No Borat - I scoured the Kazakhstan team for Borat and could not find him. A few of them could pass as his cousin but that is about it.

W is proud - My coolness is going way down because I thought it was awesome that Bush was there and that he was fired up when the US team came into the stadium. Most people probably dislike him enough to never read my blog again because I said that but I could care less. My American pride is at an all-time high right now.

Jason Kidd - People should be more offended by Jason Kidd's presence in Beijing than Bush's. Kidd is terrible and old. Not a good combination when we are trying to reclaim our rightful place at the top of the basketball world.

Chinese Taipei or Taiwan - Would someone explain this to me? I went to school with a girl from Taiwan but whenever a team from that country is competing at a world event (Olympics, Little League World Series, etc.) it is listed as Chinese Taipei. If they want to be called Taiwan why do we bother to call it by a name China would prefer?

Torch lighting - I heard so much about the torch lighting that I had no other option but to stay up to watch it. It was kind of cool to see an old gymnast look a little awkward trying to run around the top of the stadium but it took forever. I took two naps while the torch was going around the stadium and the lighting ended up being okay. The HD made it look cool but China should have spent $350M so the actual lighting was more spectacular. They couldn't displace another million poor people to use a panda bear for the torch lighting?

Medal count - There was talk at the Opening Ceremonies that China had a chance to overtake the US in the medal count. Over my dead body. If China ends up with more medals than the US then you can be guaranteed Olympic drug testing is a joke. I have nothing more to say about that. The US will dominate the Games and I am going to love it.

30-Year Duck Fans

2008-08-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

I recently received a comment on one of my posts from a person known to the Internet world as Anonymous. This individual was ballsy enough to brag that he/she was a 30-year Duck fan. It got me wondering: What the hell is the problem with 30-year Duck fans?

Whenever someone talks about Ducks sports (football and men's basketball) and expects them to be competitive every single year and finish near the top, not necessarily at the top, of the Pac-10 there are 30-year Duck fans throwing in their two cents. It seems more times than not their two cents are worth about .0001 cents because all they do is talk about how fortunate Ducks fans are today. A BCS bowl trip here and an NCAA tournament bid there.

Well you know what, that is a load of crap. I paid out-of-state tuition for 6 years (two of which for grad school so don't think I am some idiot that took forever to finish though having paid out-of-state for that long may qualify me as an idiot anyway) and I have been a fan for all of nine years so I have every right to have high expectations. I could care less if back in the 70s the football team sucked and if the basketball team was an embarrassment during the 80s. Since I have been around the athletic department has been flush with cash, the football team has been competitive nearly every year and the men's basketball team has been good about half of the time. It is amazing to think that because I think the men's team should be good more than half of the time that I am asking way too much of people paid millions of dollars.

Since it is obvious 30-year Duck fans have no idea what high expectations in sports are I will turn to something they likely consider themselves experts in: presidential politics. My assumption is that a vast majority of 30-year Duck fans are liberals (just a wild guess) and chomping at the bit to vote for Obama in November. I wonder why they are so excited. Could it be because they have high expectations that he will change what is going on? If I'm not mistaken, since 1980 (before I was born 30-year Duck fan) a Democrat has been in the Oval Office for eight years. Tell me if this sounds stupid. "Hey, 30-year Duck fan you are a moron for having high expectations that Obama will win. You are so greedy wanting a Democrat in power right now, just be happy with the eight years you have had in the last 28." As you read that you recognize that line of thinking is asinine. But when it comes to college sports, the last 50 years should be the barometer by which all things are compared. As an aside, if you think you should not change the expectations for a college sports team but you think a politician will alter the direction of an entire country then you are not very intelligent. My short history has shown me that most politicians are the same regardless of affiliation.

My parents must have dropped the ball because I was taught to try and be the best in whatever you do. If you fall short there is no need to make excuses just make sure you do better the next time. How did I ever make it through my childhood with such mean parents? My guess is that it is 30-year Duck fans that have persuaded a Little League in Ohio to cancel having an all-star team because it singles out the best players. They probably also instituted the "everyone gets a trophy no matter how bad you actually are" rule.

When all is said and done the coaches at Oregon do report to the 30-year Duck fans since they are the ones using their disposable income to get things done. My advice to the next generation of coaches is to make sure you are competitive at all times and moving forward. Before too long the 30-year Duck fans will be me, expecting Bellotti-type results in football and Kent-like success (the success his teams have every once in a while) nearly every year.

I admire 30-year Duck fans for constantly comparing things at the Casanova Center to times when no one cared a lick about Duck athletics. It takes someone special to be that stupid. Heaven forbid Duck athletics progress (there I go using a word that many progressive 30-year Duck fans love to throw around in other aspects of life) and have fans that expect the recent success all of the time.

Her Act Is Getting Old

2008-07-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

Anyone that knows me realizes there are a plethora of athletes that I do not like. Generally, my dislike is a result of two things: the team the player plays for or being vastly overrated. In the case of Danica Patrick she falls into the second category. She has received attention for simply being a girl and for no other reason. It only took her 50 tries to actually win a race in a circuit that has not had very many competitors during her tenure. As far as I can tell she thinks that because she is the prettiest driver that she should get special treatment. Someone should let her know that being the prettiest race car driver is about as impressive as being the fastest placekick holder.

In addition to not being very good it appears that Patrick has Napoleonic Complex. If I'm not mistaken she got after a male driver because she got in a wreck earlier this year. I admit to not being the biggest race car fan but even I know there is a decent chance of wrecks when driving 200 mph and maintaining all of 2.64 inches of clearance between other cars. Then Patrick goes and wins a race in Japan a little while ago. Again, car racing is not my thing but I have never known people getting too excited about a race in Japan. If she was nearly as hot as she thinks she is the tape-delayed ratings for the race would have been greater than 0.00043, which translates into about three viewers.

All of this brings us to yesterday when she decides to go off on another driver by going over to her pit and calling her out for being too slow in practice. My new favorite driver, no idea what her name is, went on to throw a towel in Patrick's face two times within one minute. Only Danica Patrick would think it is a good idea to act like a jerk and then try to explain it away on TV today by saying she simply wanted to talk to the other driver. Who taught Patrick that it is appropriate to be really overrated and act like a buffoon at the same time? It must be a complete joy to be married to her. Nothing about her suggests she would give her husband a curfew, bedtime and allowance. Just a real sweetheart I am sure.

On a related note, someone should have told Patrick that her showing up in the front row of the ESPYS was a bad idea. My Gold Glove performance in left field at Kloss Field #2 on Friday night had a better chance of winning an award than anything she did last year.

More Job Security

2008-07-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to wonder if smart people run college athletics. Imagine this scenario in the real world. A manager leads a group of people to great success one year. Then the next year he leads nearly the exact same group with another year of experience to considerably less success. Those people that led the group the last two years have no other option but to leave so the manager is starting with an entirely new group this upcoming year. Recent history suggests this manager takes a few years to achieve any type of success with a young group. Would that manager get a contract extension and raise in the business world? I seriously have my doubts.

Well, if my Internet is working correctly it appears the UO has done just that with the men's basketball coach. All of the followers of this coach may counter that adding a year does nothing except make it easier to recruit. If that is so, why in the world did the UO decide to increase the buyout? Good luck to whoever has to live with that decision. Paying the debt service on a new arena with a team that is good every now and then and a coach that puts together an abomination of a home non-conference schedule shouldn't be too hard.

Beautiful People

2008-07-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to vacation at Squaw Valley last weekend and decided I would venture down to South Lake Tahoe and watch the celebrity golf tournament. I was only there for a couple of hours but did notice some things. Here are the items I jotted down in my phone as I walked the course:

First off, I recently moved from Oregon so I am not used to wearing UO gear (I had a black polo with a very small "O" on it, nothing obnoxious) and having people yell "Go Ducks" at me. After not saying anything to the first two people I texted a friend and he told me the appropriate response is to yell it back. That seemed to work so feel free to yell at me if you see me.
I am sick of Brett Favre so I don't think it was a coincidence that the first golfer I saw hit a driver was Aaron Rodgers. My only response is that the Packers must be confident he controls a football team as well as he pummels the golf ball. Absolutely crushed the ball the one time I saw him swing.
Someone needs to make sure Gene Upshaw, Director of NFLPA, is not one of the NFL veterans that can't afford medical care. He looked so frail that I am beginning to think all of the talk about current players wanting to fire him is not allowing him to eat and sleep as well as he should.
I have long felt that Packers fans were the most white trash fans in the NFL. Well, fortunately for the cheeseheads the Steelers faithful have taken that title. There were a couple of fans following Roethlisberger around like he was their best friend. The thing that made me doubt that was that one was wearing a jersey and waving a Terrible Towel. Another one of them had a sleeveless shirt and jorts. Need I say more.
The bronze medal winning white trash fans are certainly followers of the Cowboys. Romo certainly had a fair number of them following him around. Something about grown men dressing like their five-year-old son at a golf course makes me cringe. And please don't ask, I did not see Romo fall into a pond (wish I would have) or Jessica Simpson (plenty of pretty people in the crowd anyway).
You could notice a lot of the football players from a couple of fairways over because they walked like they had their shoes on the wrong foot. It really did not look all that comfortable and makes me glad my knees never had to take the stress.
I saw one of my favorite baseball players growing up, Darryl Strawberry. He was my favorite player when he played for the Dodgers, which was not very long. Unfortunately for me he wore Dodger Blue when I visited the National Baseball Hall of Fame as a kid. So the memento I had to get while there was a Strawberry T-shirt that looked like a baseball card. Picture on the front and stats on the back. Seeing Strawberry in person only made me want to revisit the Hall of Fame even more. There has to be a better souvenir.
The guys standing next to me as we watched Trent Green tee off were funny guys. They had great commentary for everyone in the gallery and the celebrities. When Green came by one of them commented on Green's propensity for brutal concussions and wondered if Green knew what green he was on. That pun is not nearly as funny in written form a week after the fact but believe me it was worth a laugh at the time.
Of course I saw Barkley's swing. It was so bad (far worse in person than on TV) I could only watch it once. I am a terrible golfer but if I had seen that even one more time I would have to quit the sport.
This was not a traditional golf tournament so there were a number of people in the gallery that had no idea what was going on. One lady was standing right next to the 17th tee (par-3 along the lake that is always shown on TV) and would not shut up. She was so excited to see a friend who was a member of the media shooting still photographs. You would think this lady being most excited to see a photog at a celebrity golf tournament would be reason enough to call her the biggest moron of the day. Well, what she had to say as I was trying to avoid her at the 16th green takes the cake. She asked her husband who of the three in the group putting was Marcus Allen (the former NFL running back). That was a legitimate question since his playing partners were Neil Lomax (former QB) and Jeff Feagles (NFL punter). They are painfully white and let's just say Allen isn't. You have to love when women ask stupid sports questions in public. It is as bad as guys asking questions about dress styles at a bridal shower.
Jim McMahon must have fit in very well at BYU in Provo, UT. When a guy that lived in Eugene for eight years is shocked by an outfit you have to wonder how he made any friends in college. There is something about an orange sherbet top and polka-dot pants that made me look twice.
Nearly all of the actors in the field were dinky guys. I don't think it was because they were hanging out with athletes either. Greg Kinnear looked to be about the size of my mother-in-law. And for all you smarty pants out there that simply means Kinnear had to have been beaten up in school because he is tiny.
No surprises here but one of the course volunteers told me John Elway was in one of two groups created for fan appeal. Elway is the greatest quarterback to every play football so the tournament director made a very wise decision.
Michael Jordan and Ray Allen (part of the other group created for the fans) were wearing Jordan XI golf cleats. For the sneaker folks in the audience that certainly is a bit of news worthy of getting excited about.
I ended up catching up with Barkley again at a point on the course where the back and front 9s met up. Luckily, I did not see him take a shot because he got sick of a sand trap about 120 yards from the green and decided to quit playing that hole just before I showed up.
Former major leaguer David Wells did not look as bad as I thought he would. When he was getting paid to be an athlete he resembled a competitive eater so it made sense to me that he would have gained 100 pounds. He actually looked just the same and had the back of his shirt untucked. I guess it goes to show that if you are left-handed you really only need to be worried about that one appendage and you will have a pitching job for many years.
In Wells' group was one of the greatest college coaches of all time, Lou Holtz. As a lifelong Notre Dame fan it was great seeing the last coach that took them to the promised land. To think that a man the size of Greg Kinnear coached football players is astonishing to me.
Say what you want about me but the most impressive thing I saw was Jack Wagner. From 20 yards away the soap star is quite an attractive guy. The flowing blond hair and baby face were quite striking. Rarely would I compliment a man for being good looking so you have to figure Wagner had his pick of pretty Tahoe ladies.
And that takes me to the one thing I learned by walking the course. Beautiful people follow celebrities no matter where they are. Lake Tahoe isn't exactly Siberia but it certainly is not Hollywood. There were a number of beautiful people strolling the course. So you know, the only beautiful male I noticed was Wagner so if you are a woman don't go thinking I am providing this information for your benefit.
That is about all I saw. Watching famous people do something they are not necessarily good at is not the most exciting thing in the world. I suppose if you subscribe to People and US Weekly something like this would be reason to cry tears of joy. If being around famous people does not really get you too excited then do not go out of your way to go. I did go a bit out of my way and if it weren't for wanting to provide you with an informative blog entry I would have felt I wasted my time.
You may be wondering how I knew it was time to go. That part was easy. When my boxers started to ride so much that I needed to leave the premises to take care of the discomfort I decided a trip to the parking lot was appropriate.

An All-Star Performance

2008-07-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

I hate to embarrass people that are far better than I at a sport I played for my entire childhood but Dan Uggla deserves it. The game is no over (only the top of the 15th) but he has had an unforgettable night. Rarely does someone play in an All-Star Game long enough to pull off the double that Uggla has tonight. To this point he has three errors and three strikeouts. His errors were brutal. If I did not know any better I would guess he is a DH but since he plays in the National League I am left to assume he actually plays second base on a regular basis. As for the strikeouts, I do not think he has swung at a single pitch that was actually in the strike zone. Luckily for Uggla (oddly enough "uggla" is norwegian for "ugly") he came in the game in the 6th or 7th inning so much of the country has been asleep for his unprecedented performance.

(Photo from NL Beast.)

Jeter Is Bush League

2008-07-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

Anyone with a brain realizes Derek Jeter is a fabrication of the media. There is no need for me to delve further into this because those people that allow the media to dictate what they believe cannot be convinced of the truth. Tonight's All-Star Game was an excellent example of Jeter's incompetence. A review of his night at the plate resembles a typical night for "the great one."

In his first at-bat he slapped the ball (If you did not see it picture a 10-year-old girl playing softball) to 2nd base and Chase Utley misplayed it. In any other stadium or uniform Jeter would not have been credited with a hit but of course tonight he was. If you think I am being tough on the perfume-wearing shortstop then take a look at Dan Uggla's third error of the night in the bottom of the 13th. In Jeter's second at-bat with runners on he hit a tailor-made double play ball to shortstop. If I hit infield practice to a high school team for an entire season I would never be able to give the shortstop such a perfect ball to practice starting a double play. Then in his 3rd at-bat Jeter decided to pull off his signature move: a one-hopper to the pitcher. I have never been able to figure out how someone could be considered clutch for hitting very weak grounders up the middle. When I do that in summer softball games I get ridiculed by my teammates and rightfully so.

What really set me off tonight was a simple replay shown in the 6th inning. The announcers said nothing about it but that does not surprise me. Hanley Ramirez, without question baseball's best shortstop and it is not even close, was on first. Chase Utley hit a ball down the right-field line and as Ramirez was rounding second base Jeter went to second base acting like he was going to receive the ball to turn a double play. Since Ramirez is older than six he was not tricked but it showed the true Jeter. Contrary to what the media wants you to believe I am convinced Jeter is totally classless. He is all about himself and would be the friend that would not think twice about sleeping with your girlfriend/wife. Stay classy Jeter, all of the pathetic people that think the media is objective will make sure your image remains pristine.

Yankee Stadium Made The Babe

2008-07-15T21:49:00.001-07:00

I have watched nearly every pitch of the marathon All-Star Game, which is in the 13th inning as I type. There have been more mentions of Yankee Stadium than outs in the game. I get that the stadium is old and the Yankees have played their home games in it but is it really that big of a deal that it is closing? Furthermore, does Joe Buck have to mention every 7th pitch that the stadium is closing after this year. I kid you not, my wife commented that she is sick and tired of hearing about this being the last season. She has watched no more than two innings of the game. Joe Buck has been jabbering so much about the archaic structure that I am beginning to think that the inanimate building is the reason that Babe Ruth exists and not the other way around.

Just because it is the home stadium for one of two teams that the media cares to talk about does not mean we have to talk about it incessantly. We are all smart enough to deduce that if Yankee Stadium is closing at the end of this year, this is the final All-Star Game being played there. Perhaps some of my anger directed at the blabber about this being the last year is that I am jealous. As an Oregon alum I have long wished the men's basketball were consistent enough that folks would decide a new arena is in order. It seems like it will happen but I'll believe it when the hippies get out of the way and let the structure be built.

NBA Draft '08

2008-06-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

I freely admit that I just wasted five hours of my life. They are hours I will never get back and it is a bit frustrating but I have to live with it. Watching drafts on TV are always dangerous for me. I want to watch the beginning and then I end up watching it all. It never seems to fail. It seems my biggest problem is that I picked the wrong school for college. Whether it be the NBA or NFL I am always interested in seeing guys from Oregon get picked. More often than not Oregon guys are perfect late round picks in the NFL or very late picks in the NBA. Oh well. It was awesome to see Maarty Leunen get drafted. Having gotten to know him just a bit over the last couple of years I can say that he is a really good guy and someone that will not embarrass my alma mater (see Smith, Onterrio). I did have some other thoughts on the draft too:

1. Why Euro?: Even David Stern gets things right every now and then. The decision to eliminate flopping was a brilliant one. Provided the rule is enforced I find no reason to consider drafting a non-American. Since so many Euros were drafted I am left to assume the non-flopping edict will not stick. There is no other reason to pick a soft, skinny and pathetic Euro player. Their one asset is to act like a soccer player on the hardwood.

2. Blazers Domination: Once again the Blazers took over on draft night. I had a friend earlier in the day tell me the Blazers needed to get Jerryd Bayless and I agreed. It was unfortunate to see him get picked just before the Blazers picked but lo and behold he will be wearing red and black. It was a great trade for the Blazers and only makes me more certain that they will be taking part in a parade within four years.

3. Long-Term Foolishness: Not to beat a dead horse here but drafting Euros makes no sense to me at all for another reason. One of the excuses for drafting them is that they do not take up a roster spot and cap money while playing in Europe. Plus, they get a chance to play against other bums in Europe perfecting the flop, which means they may be good enough to bring over here in a few years as long as the dollar does not become so worthless that playing in Siberia is more lucrative than New York City. The biggest problem with this theory is that the coaches and general managers that draft these guys for the future will likely be fired by the time they have mastered the flop. Now am I the only one that thinks that makes no sense?

4. Biggest Bust: I found that this draft had about seven players worth anything. Ironically enough they were just about all from the Pac-10. This fact also makes me feel like more of an idiot for watching so many future NBDL journeymen get drafted. Basically, the point is that I foresee a number of the players from this draft doing nothing substantial in their careers. Having done very little myself since college I can't really knock them too much. With all of that I am proclaiming O.J. Mayo to be the biggest bust in a draft full of busts. I saw him play at USC and was not impressed at all.

5. 2009 Rookie of the Year: In a draft full of weak players it is easy to predict that next year's rookie of the year will be Greg Oden. No explanation is necessary. Start etching his name in an elegant font right now and I will hand deliver it to him when I see him dismantle the Sacramento Kings at some point next season.

We Have Another

2008-06-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of last football season I watched a Clemson football game and one of the players had a hilarious major. I actually can't recall it at this time but rest assured that the name of the major suggested that football player was taking part in rigorous classes. I thought I would come across a lot of interesting major choices among football players last season but I didn't. Let me be clear, I am not dissing on the student athletes. They are not the ones who decide names of majors. In a previous life I knew a fair number of student athletes and all I can say is that I have the utmost respect for them. The amount of time they are required to give to their sport makes me wonder if I would have been able to graduate with any type of degree if I had been an athlete.

Well, after watching the College World Series last night I was treated to another fantastic major. One of Georgia's players, who shall remain nameless, had his major listed as 'Real Estate.' You would think the school would be smart enough to throw the word 'Management' after it to give it the guise of something special. I suspect this may have been a typographical error by ESPN but I'm going to go with it anyway. Besides, it is another school from the South and my ignorance leads me to believe schools in this region (SEC members in particular) have weak major names. I repeat, weak major names. Not necessarily weak majors, just the names of them.

I do wonder what courses are involved in the Real Estate major though. You know there is a class all potential majors dread is the entry level class that weeds out all of the slackers. What class is that you ask? My guess is Real Estate 104: Location, Location, Location. Other possible class names are:

Digital Arts for Real Estate: How to use Photoshop to make the backyard look nice
Finance for Real Estate: How jacking up the price a few thousand dollars in negotiations is not worth it to you since commission on that is not going to be very much
English for Real Estate: You can never use the word 'potential' too many times

I am starting to think this would be a great major. The breadth in the subject material would be extraordinary. So there you have it, The OpinionSmith Ivy League now has two distinguished members: Clemson University and the University of Georgia.

Photo of the University of Georgia library from Britannica.

Hiatus Over

2008-06-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

(Written a few days before being posted so some commentary is completely out of line.)

The blog has been quiet for far too long and I apologize for that. The past couple of weeks have been absolutely nuts. Needless to say the blog now calls Northern California home. The sunshine and blue sky has been amazing. In addition to a relocation, I was studying for a standard exam that will determine just how much more school debt I am going to accumulate. What's another few thousand, right? With that test over my schedule will allow for more spectacular commentary that the seven of you have come to expect. In the last couple of weeks there have been some important matters that have caught my eye:

1. Tiger Woods makes golf the coolest sport ever. Think about how amazing that is. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you have been outside of the country. Unfortunately I will not be watching any golf for the next many months because the one guy that makes golf cool is taking a break.

2. NBA fans are morons. You are to tell me it took a crooked ref trying to avoid jail time for you to realize David Stern picks winners of games before they are played? I have a sneaky hunch the Lakers will win Game 6 to force a Game 7. Heaven forbid Stern gets trumped by a golf tournament. I am most looking forward to watching the refs and not the players. That's what happens when the two teams playing make me want to puke.

3. Dodgers are pathetic. I am thankful I have been too busy with things to follow baseball. To think the Dodgers are closer to the Giants than first place is reason enough to buy out Torre's contract at the All-Star Break.

4. Olympic Trials will bring a tear to my eye. Here I lived in Eugene for 8 years and I move three weeks before the sporting event I was most looking forward to. My seats were in a prime location and I had to part ways with them. I will be watching them on TV like it's my job and encourage you to do the same. Track is great to watch, particularly in person.

I hope your summer's are off to great starts. There is sure to be a lot to comment on in the coming months so check back frequently for thoughtful words on truly important matters.

Pac-10 Still Blowing

2008-05-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

I have long held that the Pac-10 will always be looked down upon by the rest of the country because it seems to care more about bragging about its successful water polo programs than the sports that actually matter (see football and men's basketball). Some may question whether track & field matters, I certainly do. (As a UO alum I better like track since all of the other sports have a combined one national title ever and that was in 1939.) What set me off today is that the Pac-10 Track & Field Championships are happening this weekend and I can't find any live online scoring of the event. I did check the UO athletics website, which has live scoring for the most random track events all season long, and the Pac-10 website in case anyone is wondering.

This is 2008 and you are to tell me I have to wait until tomorrow morning to read about the results in the paper. Come on Tom Hansen, get your act together. People seem to think your FSN TV deal is acceptable but not using the Internet should be universally admonished. This has to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. It is 2008 and I can't find live results. I realize I have already said that but I have to type it out a couple of times to come to grips with it. I am embarrassed to say I have multiple degrees from a school in a conference that thinks the Internet is a fad that is sure to pass. If I were in charge of the Pac-10, it would never happen because I use my brain, I would take the chance that the Internet is something that is here to stay. If someone knows where I can find the live results I will take back only the comments about the Internet. Tom Hansen is still a bum no matter what.

Fly-Over States

2008-05-10T10:36:00.000-07:00

Back in my days as a college student I took a graduate class entitled Mass Media & Society. It was an election year and I tend not to align myself politically with the same people that journalists do so there was animated discourse in class, shall we say. As part of my introduction to the media hoity-toity (not sure if that's a real world but it fits) I learned what a fly-over state was. For those, like myself, that are not civilized it basically refers to the Midwest. Some lady in class introduced me to the term "fly-over states" when she was trying to figure out why some Americans were stupid enough to vote Republican. Meanwhile I was trying to figure out why a 40-something mother was in my graduate class as a student and not an instructor. Anyway, I was slightly caught off guard by her advanced intellectual thought since a large portion my family lives in Iowa.

Let's fast-forward to the present day. Due to a death in the family I recently spent a couple of days in Iowa. I really love the place even if esteemed Journalism Schools across the country disregard it. As an aside, the funniest part is that my entire family in Iowa is blue-blooded Democrat. For most of them "Bush" is the fiercest of the four-letter words. It should come as no surprise that I love my family and therefore Iowa but it is the other people in the Midwest that put a smile on my face.On the way from the church to the cemetery we were a part of about a 15-car processional that meandered through town for a couple of miles. The respect other people showed my grandmother was nothing short of astounding. To our family she was a woman worthy of a national holiday but she really was just a regular lady from Iowa, which makes the reaction our processional received all the more impressive. There were not many people outside but those that were will remain vividly in my memory forever.

One lady stopped mowing her lawn, took off her hat and solemnly watched us all pass. Now that was awesome! Then a little bit later a couple stopped eating lunch on their porch and appeared to pray as we passed by. Throughout the entire drive the policemen leading the processional through town would step out of their patrol cars and put their hats over their hearts at every intersection they blocked.

Maybe these events are run-of-the-mill wherever you go in America but the heart of a person from a fly-over state is different from the rest. No matter your religious or political affiliation, you have to appreciate the respect for life shown by people in a very small Midwestern town. I love you and miss you Grandma. Now do your part and help your beloved Cubbies win the World Series!

Genius Move

2008-05-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

When I came to Eugene for school I loved the fact that KSCR-1320 was ESPN Radio all of the time. I had grown tired of listening to radio guys back home talk about a certain NBA team that wore purple and routinely lost to the Lakers in the playoffs. Getting a national perspective on things was very refreshing. A couple of years ago 1320 started a 3-hour show. The start was brutal but The Sports Idol has come into his own over the years. It is an afternoon show so it did not bother me that much. I actually did have class and work during those hours. Within the last few months 1320 added a one-hour show with a local newspaper guy. This was great because it meant the worst talking head on radio, Stephen A. Smith, would not be heard in the Eugene area. When I had the chance to catch it I enjoyed his open perspective. By open, I mean he did not have to sing the praises of UO Athletics like it seems The Sports Idol has to do. That appears to have been the last smart decision 1320 made.

Last week 1320 lost its mind. They added a couple more hours of local programming and dropped the Jim Rome Show. That infuriates me! I grew up on his radio show. In fact, in our baseball program my senior year of high school I listed him as my hero. Probably something I wish I could take back now that I have grown up a bit but you get the point: I appreciate good talk radio. Dropping Rome for anything would generally be a poor decision but 1320 replaced him with a whiney, East Coast slappy that never shuts up about New York sports. I have only heard him for a total of 20 minutes and completely understand why he was fired by another local radio station and replaced by Michael Savage. That's right, this East Coast lackey was replaced by the bastion of conservative talk radio in the bastion of liberal thinking. How hilarious is that? Not nearly as hilarious as the fact this guy replaced Jim Rome.

I have clearly established that 1320's management has lost their mind by replacing a sports radio legend with someone that makes bloggers seem like Pulitzer Prize winning journalists. There is one more aspect of this that drives me nuts. Remember when I mentioned that I loved the fact that 1320 had all national programming. That is no longer the case. A metro area of 200,000 people, no pro teams and one Pac-10 university has six (6) hours of local sports talk. It boggles my mind that someone thinks Eugene is in desperate need of more local sports radio. This is especially idiotic when you consider a large portion of the programming likely has to take the same side on any story related to the only local sports entity.

The only thing that may be more mind-boggling is when a women's basketball coach keeps her job after failing to meet any expectations set forth when the season began. I'm in a never-ending quest for a job that pays that well and allows me to perform that poorly. Wait, I would probably have too much self dignity and fire myself before I got paid to suck. Anyway, I digress. Make sure you enjoy listening to all of that wonderful local sports talk. There simply isn't enough time in the day to talk about all that goes on around here.

Am I A Runner?

2008-05-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

I enjoy the occasional run. I wear running shorts but they are the longest ones Nike makes. When I go on long runs I have a water bottle belt and energy gel. I also have a foam roller for silly runner guy stretches. Last but not least, I live in TrackTown USA. Given all of this I still was not sure if I truly was a runner. Well, I think I put that to rest early last week. What did I do you now ask?

I woke up early (for me) to go on a run in an effort to simulate starting a half marathon at the crack of dawn. Let's just say my body does not do so well in the mornings but I tried to combat that by using the bathroom just before I left. My run started pretty well until about the 2-mile mark. I planned an 8-miler so I was barely a quarter of the way through. It was at this point that my insides were telling me they wanted to be emptied. I figured I would have a chance to get to a porta-potty about 1/3 of a mile away. Unfortunately, even walking did nothing to minimize the discomfort.

I then decided to do what I see every unleashed (against the rules might I add) dog in Alton Baker Park do: veer off the path and find a suitable collection of trees to let loose. Lucky for me I found this spot about 150 feet off the path with the trees serving as a suitable barrier between the path and myself. The only problem would be if one of Eugene's many homeless people staggered out of the bushes opposite my barrier. It was a chance I was willing to take given the odds were pretty slim since panhandling hours seem to mirror those of rush hour traffic. (Did you know my research has shown panhandling to be the 4th most popular industry in Lane County behind education, RVs and medicine?)

The obvious question is: What would I use to finish the job? Since I did have another 6 miles to go and my route took me closer to civilization a plan was needed. It was at this point that I was thankful Eugene's weather is colder and rainier than most because I was wearing 3 layers on my upper torso. Also, I had an exact of one of the layers at home! Really, how great is that? I can relieve myself, toss the materials needed to fully relieve myself and not miss that dri-fit one bit.
I will spare the details of the actual relieving part but know that it felt great. It was invigorating to know that I had become a true runner. And all it cost me was a dri-fit (which I had two of) off my back. The location of my episode shall remain a mystery but know that if you see a Eugene transient that scoured through garbage near Autzen wearing a stylish dri-fit there is a legendary story behind it.

I will leave you with some advice. Should you be in the woods and have no toilet paper, dri-fit material is glorious. A wee bit more expensive than leaves, but glorious nonetheless.

Just A Regular Person

2008-04-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

When I see a YouTube clip that is too good to pass up I need to share it with you. Let me be very clear that this posting in no way supports any candidate. In fact, I am certain I would not vote for any of the candidates involved in the primary the candidate shown below is competing in. By way of Politico I present to you the candidate who has been railing on Barack Obama for being too elitist and out-of-touch with common folk.

Note: There is not a single presidential candidate with a legitimate chance of winning that is not elitist. I do not care what college, high school or preschool he/she attended. For the stuffed suits of any party to consider a person for the candidacy he/she has to be an elite pompous sell-out, not just a pompous sell-out.

I Need A Doctor's Note

2008-04-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

Here in the great Northwest we have a softball story that is getting a lot of publicity. I have seen an article here, here and here. Let me be clear, I have seen them but have not yet read any of them. (This likely means I am missing some key facts but what good are facts when you have something good to say.) The reason I know about any of this is that I saw it on SportsCenter of all places this afternoon. Throughout the day I had seen the above links and now I am glad I did not read them. I think it is great that a girl hit a home run and somehow managed to blowout her knee. Well, the home run part is great at least. The problem with this story is that it seems more outlandish than any of the Hall of Famers dating middle and high school girls stories (see Malone, Karl and Clemens, Roger). There are two main points that give me pause:

This point is painfully obvious: How does a girl blowout her knee hitting a home run? I am not a doctor but as far as I can tell knees are blown out when extreme force is placed on a knee. Having played baseball throughout my entire childhood I can assure you swinging a bat does not really seem to fall into that category. Maybe it does when you swing really hard, miss the ball and spin around a few times but this girl did hit a home run. Given that, I have to assume she did make contact with a ball. Plus, in the limited softball I have seen I have never seen a girl swing a bat and think, “Wow, that was an incredibly powerful cut!” Come on, the stars of the team are the ones that are running while swinging. The more I delve into this the more I find it hard to believe a girl tore up her knee hitting a home run.
Let’s pretend I am able to move beyond the fact that the girl tore her knee. You are to tell me she could not walk the bases with a torn ACL. I witnessed with my own eyes in the worst city in America (Tucson, AZ) a quarterback run 50 yards or so for a touchdown in a Division-1A football game with a partially torn ACL. I also saw him walk around, very gingerly, for the rest of the game on the sidelines. Then another story that I am reminded of is of a girl that played softball at the UO. I do not know her name but a couple of years ago a girl played the season with a torn ACL. It was at that time that I determined softball was not a sport. (For all of you out there wondering how I define a sport that is how I define it.) If a girl is able to play the field and bat with a torn ACL then someone can walk the bases after hitting a home run.

In conclusion, it is great that the other team carried her around the bases but I think it was all an act. The story just does not add up for me. I do not believe that she could have torn the ACL hitting a home run and I have seen people do far more than walk the bases after suffering a similar injury. I commend all of the girls for doing such a wonderful job of acting. In the end they get their 15 minutes of fame. As I sign off I realize that the part of the story that may bother me the most is that the opposing team’s idea of sportsmanship makes me want to puke.

I'm Back

2008-04-19T19:03:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since I posted but I have had a difficult time trying to figure out a schedule with a new addition to the family. I figured a good way to get back on the saddle would be to detail the trip to the grocery store that confirmed my status as a new dad.

My wife has not been outside the house much since the birth, mainly because the weather has sucked. It has been a few weeks since my mother-in-law was in town so the inventory of some "items" were running low. I was headed to the store so what's another item to pick up? My wife informs me of the style of the "item" and says it does not matter what brand it is. So I head off to work for the day and spend the day figuring out how I am going to get the "items" without embarrassing myself. As I leave work, I feel good about my plan and drive to the store.

I walk in the store like I am on a mission. I stop by the produce area and pick up some fruit. Then I venture to the bread aisle for some bagels and go back to the cheese area for some cream cheese. Things were going very smoothly and I was starting to feel good about buying the "items." Part of my plan was to walk at a brisk pace so no one thinks I am lost or confused. That all stopped when I tried to find the aisle containing the "items". I felt like Pac-Man towards the end of a level when all of the ghost-like things are closing in on him. I started in the women's make-up and haircare aisle. No luck. I then venture to the pharmacy and nearly sprint down the aisles. No luck. So as the ghost-like things are getting very close I kind of panic. I furiously scanned the signs above the aisles for something that would resemble "women's items". In an effort to get away from the front of the store and rethink my plan I storm down the diapers aisle so I can look lost at the back of the store.

Much to my surprise the "items" were in this aisle. Who is the genius that decides it should be labeled "Incontinence" on the aisle sign? I have never heard of the word and am frightened to look up what it means. As a service to all future husbands I believe this is a term that needs to be discussed in marriage counseling. Heaven forbid they call it "chick stuff" to help us out a little. Now that I have stumbled upon the "items" I have to find the requested style. Come to find out I have no problem finding the style but there are at least 34 brands and that is when I nearly aborted the mission.

I'll admit to being completely overwhelmed and the fact that I think I heard women at the end of the aisle gossiping about my presence in their aisle did not help matters. I then just grabbed a random brand in the requested style and jammed to the self-checkout line. There was no way I was going to have one of the chatty Kathy checkout ladies try to strike up a conversation with me. I needed to get out of there fast. The checkout process was uneventful and I proceeded home to plead with my wife to give me a specific brand next time. I am a nice enough guy to go out and buy these "items" again but I need to have the possible choices narrowed significantly from 300.

Pure Athlete

2008-03-31T18:51:00.000-07:00

I am just now getting over the fact that last weekend's NCAA Tournament games were incredibly boring. Only the last game (Davidson vs. Kansas) had any type of drama. I have never been one to follow Bill Self's teams but after watching that game it was obvious why he had never been to the Final Four before now. He is not very good. Without question he coached that game "not-to-lose" as opposed to trying to win it outright. It made for a dramatic ending so I suppose I should thank him for finding a way to coach his absurdly talented team in a way that nearly left them out of a star-studded Final Four. As sad as it is to admit, the most entertaining part of the weekend was in the very first game of the weekend, Washington State vs. North Carolina. Aside from the fact that this game was over within the first 15 minutes Jay Bilas was able to provide some phenomenal insight.

You see, Washington State is not the sexiest or most athletic team in the world but they are well-coached and play smart basketball. Pretty much the exact opposite description of an Oregon basketball team but that's not the point. One player on Washington State who fits the "not-the-most-athletic-looking-guy" mold is Taylor Rochestie. He is white, has floppy hair and wears knee-length socks. Over the last couple of years I have found him to be a pretty effective ballplayer though and Bilas agrees. At one point in the first half Bilas said about Rochestie, "A much better athlete than he gets credit for. He can dunk off two feet with two hands with ease." Well, there you have it. Rochestie is a modern day Bruce Jenner. You're to tell me a college basketball player can do that and be a student at the same time? I need to see footage of Rochestie pulling off the miraculous feat to believe it myself.

Bilas' comments were not outlandish but I was waiting for something really good to nail home the point that Rochestie is quite an athlete. In my mind I was waiting for Bilas to say something like he can dunk off two feet from near the free throw line and put it between his legs. That would have made the suspense worth it. Instead he told me that Rochestie can dunk, which makes him far more athletic than I but a likely reason why he wears his socks so high.

Oakland A's vs. Boston Red Sox Live Blog

2008-03-25T03:06:00.000-07:00

Well, due to a new member in the family my life has been completely flipped upside down. As a result, I am able to live blog the first game of the 2008 MLB season. The battle in Japan that is starting at 3:00am PDT. Here we go:

Middle 1st: If anyone is wondering I have not packed on the pounds in the same way Daisuke Matsuzaka has since playing a role in the conception of a child. Not real sure American food is agreeing with him and I know the mullet is not. Holy Crap! The baby has decided to fall asleep so this may go down as the shortest live blog in history. Do not worry though, there is no way I will be sleeping for the remaining 8.5 innings so I should be back.

Top 1st: Holy Crap! The names of the players are in Japanese on the scoreboard. This shouldn't surprise me since the game is in Japan but I did not know Ramirez had a Japanese translation. Joe Blanton is throwing the first pitch, kind of wish he was wearing Dodger blue. Dustin Pedroia starts things off with a single up the middle. I played against him in high school so I do have a soft spot in my heart for him. Ortiz swung at the first pitch and popped out to third. If I was a member of the stupidest group ever, Red Sox Nation, I would be very worried about that. Uh Oh! Ramirez also popped out. Epstein better appease Boston and trade for some middle of the lineup power immediately.

Pregame: I have a new found hate for the Red Sox since they have become the new Yankees and a ton of people I work with are Red Sox fans so I am pulling hard for the A's. The fact that their AAA team resides in the hometown has made them a favorite team of mine anyway.

Still Around

2008-03-24T09:37:00.001-07:00

The blog has slowed down considerably as a result of a familial addition. I will have comments on the limited amount of the NCAA Tournament that I saw at some point. All I know is my bracket is as it usually is: lagging behind my wife's.

The Danny Green Dunk

2008-03-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

After posting the picture I figured it would be appropriate to learn how to embed YouTube video on this here blog. I figure having a Duke player, Greg Paulus no less, getting dunked on at home would be the perfect one to start start.

More Replays Please

2008-03-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

I was one of the many college basketball fans that watched Duke and North Carolina battle on Saturday night. I could not have been the only one that wanted to see multiple replays of Danny Green putting his twig and berries on Greg Paulus' forehead. It was a very impressive dunk and usually those types of plays are replayed over and over. What did ESPN do instead? Beat the Duke student in a Speedo story to death. I would much rather see a pompous and overrated Dukie get two black eyes while getting dunked on then see a college student give the sophomoric 'suck it' gesture while wearing only a Speedo. The only replay I saw of the impressive dunk was from the camera stationed behind the square on the backboard. Come on! I cannot actually confirm that Paulus was in a position that would even make a wrestler blush form that angle.

If this were FSN and UCLA doing the dunking (I see their relationship to be similar to Duke and ESPN's) we would get to see that play from 9 different angles and enjoy each one. Russell Westbrook has managed to put his junk in two players' faces this year and every camera angle in the building was at our disposal. I do not want to further emabrass the guys that were foolish enough to try and take the charge but they play for California-Berkeley and Oregon. I can't believe I just complimented FSN. Everything it does is pathetic and worthy of its own post. ESPN usually does a great job but in this case they did not practice journalistic integrity. All networks should remember that a dunk where another man puts his area on another man's head needs to be shown from multiple angles. It does not matter if the player being humiliated is from an adopted school.

(Photo from Deadspin.)

Daylight Savings Recovery

2008-03-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well, today was the second day of daylight savings and I must say I have adjusted. According to Renee McCullough of KMTR in Eugene I am a resilient individual. On Saturday night she mentioned a study that found it takes some people up to two weeks to recover! That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. The people with that type of response must be Oregon State graduates because that is pathetic. Word of advice to Renee, sight the study and drop actual names of people that performed it because by simply mentioning a study I think she did some research on herself and realized she is not that good at sleeping, life or something. Also, there is no need to throw in that tidbit because just a couple of weeks ago the local paper had a front-page, above the fold article bragging that Oregon is the most agnostic state in the Union. So if the viewing audience has no reason to wake up there is no way 'losing' an hour of sleep should have any effect.

You know, I act like I am some super human because I have recovered so quickly but the church I go to has us delay changing our clocks until after service so I cheated. There is no doubt that if I had to 'lose' the hour of sleep I would have had to take sick leave for the entire week. The more I think about it Renee may have found something. Everyone that takes a flight from Utah to California has to take into account the fact that they will not be functional for a few days. Those people that take trips one time zone away are all too familiar with jet lag on those adventures. How do business people do one-night trips? I'll bet their employers provide complimentary mental help because of the incredible challenge of dealing with frequent one-hour time changes.

Ducks Have To Win

2008-03-01T23:20:00.000-08:00

I have serious concerns over the state of the Ducks basketball team. They have a ton of good players but are not winning games. It makes no sense to me. Some of the folks that like to think the coach is not in any way at fault attribute it to lackluster players. My response to that is very simple. You're to tell me Washington State's players are better athletes and have more skill than the Ducks? Didn't think so. I certainly have far more to say on this matter but will keep it to myself for now.

What is of interest to me is that the Ducks could have the lamest coach ever (I don't think they do) and the most pathetic players (I know they don't) and still win the Civil War. Oregon State is one of the worst teams in major college basketball history as far as I can tell. For this reason I know the Ducks will win. If for whatever reason that does not happen this will turn into a Beavers blog for seven days. Provided hell freezes over tomorrow night, I will spend the next week posting about the Beavers at least once a day for an entire week. Now that is the Oregon cockiness the rest of the Pac-10 has come to love!

Stop Worrying About Gas

2008-03-01T23:04:00.000-08:00

I only used the above title to get your attention. I do understand the importance of oil and its byproducts on the economy but for a moment quit worrying about it and move on to something else. That something else is food prices at movies. For those that regularly attend movies and attempt to purchase drinks or snacks this development is nothing new but for me it is. I would guess I go the movies about 5-7 times a year and never buy crap to eat or drink. For whatever reason I decided a snack and soda would be a good idea tonight. I think the fact that I was in possession of a gift card made me lose my inhibitions. I suppose it is a good thing bars do not have gift cards! After purchasing tickets the gift card had a value of $3.50. Now, I am not so clueless that I thought this would be enough to cover my splurging behavior but I didn't realize it would not even be enough for a tip.

On the big board that displayed the 'combos' there was no dollar figure associated with them. If there had been I would have never considered it. So my wife and I go with #1 because it comes with two drinks and a popcorn. The drinks were huge and the popcorn was offensive in size. I was truly embarrassed by how much crap (yes, crap is the proper term for the stuff I had: pink lemonade and popcorn) I was carrying around the theater. My hands were so full I had to ask the ticket taker to take my tickets out of my back pocket. He declined so I was forced to make it work but larger hands would have been nice. In fact, another arm would have been more efficient.

So you get the picture that I had a lot of stuff but I felt cheated. The total came out to be $15.50. It is no wonder the prices of 'combos' are not listed. Not a single person, in this economy in particular, should pull the trigger on that purchase. There is not enough money in Lane County for me to feel good about that type of purchase. Though I liked the movie (Vantage Point) I spent the entire time, and still am, thinking about how stupid I was for paying that much money for two cups of ice with a touch of lemonade and popcorn. Oil prices are going to be what they are because of our dependence on it. Movie snack prices are not necessary so let's band together and not purchase any of them. This certainly is a campaign that folks from all political walks of life can get behind. My political career known for consensus-building is off to a great start.

Pet Happenings

2008-02-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

It has been a few months since I railed on pets so I figure some words in that direction are due. It is about time the plight of the people that dislike pets gets more attention. Especially during an election year. Everyone else (no matter how lame their cause is, this one included) gets their voice heard. I may have left off with a black cat trying to challenge my authority as man of my house. Nothing quite that exciting has happened but the audacity of pet owners sure does pop up every now and then. Let’s see:

1. Back when our front yard was full of leaves I took it upon myself to rake the leaves. What a guy I am. Well, when I started some guy walked by with his dog and we exchanged hellos. Then about 30 minutes later he walks by again. Only this time he stops and so does his dog. And the dog does more than just stops, it takes a deuce. The dog owner thinks because it is dusk and because I am a champion raker of leaves that I didn’t even notice. I did and was appalled. Who in his/her right mind thinks its okay to let a dog poop in someone else’s lawn and not pick it up? Especially in a part of the lawn that I have yet to rake. So you know, as one who does not have/like pets I am offended by dogs pooping in my lawn even if it is picked up. Yet another story of jerk pet owners thinking they are special because they have taught their dog how to walk in a straight line. What an accomplishment! Have you thought about how much of a screw up your own kids are?

2. To show my softer side I will share the story of the dog that lives in the yard behind ours. Back when my wife first became pregnant and was sick far too much the neighbor dog found it enjoyable to bark all of the time. I suspect it barked when the owners were not home, which was from 8am to 5 pm, give or take a few minutes. I finally got sick and tired of the dog barking and decided to peak my head over the fence. It was a rainy day (one of the only ones in Eugene in the last 6 months if any football recruits are reading this) so I quickly ran outside and yelled at the dog in a very stern voice. The dog immediately obeyed but I felt sorry for it. It was tied to a stake in the middle of the yard under no tree or anything, just open to the rain. Again, it never rains in Eugene so I thought it sucked that the dog had to be wet for one afternoon. Needless to say I have never heard the dog bark again so I figured it only responds to stern words and it made me kind of sad, but not for too long.

3. I enjoy running and dislike dogs so you can imagine I have a grand time running around Eugene. Well, a few weeks ago I’m running along the river and some middle-aged new age-type guy is walking a pack of dogs. Okay, maybe two large dogs isn’t a pack but they were big. Neither of these dogs was on a leash though that rule is clearly stated on signs around the park. No one follows this rule so it is not as if he is alone in this practice. I mean come on with all of the transients in Eugene (again, if a recruit is reading this don’t think there are a lot of homeless people in Eugene even if there is) there are more important things to look out for. Who am I fooling; no one regulates anything around here. Back to the dogs, basically I had to dodge these dogs all around the trail. Mind you, there was a mulch trail 10 feet away but Mr. New Age Guy had to let his dogs roam the blacktop trail. How would he like it if I bothered him while he was campaigning for Ralph Nader by driving off the road and running him over?

4. This last little story takes the cake. My disdain for pompous pet owners has reached a new level. We live near a rather busy intersection, which sucks for a variety of reasons but I would have never thought of this one. Over the weekend some classy Eugene resident decided our trash can was the proper place to dispose of his dog’s 3-pound dump. I suspect it was a German Shepard but that it a total guess in the dark. Imagine my surprise when I opened the garbage to find that. I don’t need anyone telling me about the garbage stinking when I have a kid (it is not the same thing, when will pet owners get over the fact that dogs are not humans?) or it is better to have the poop in my garbage than on leaves. The only thing I distaste more than pets are the people that put them in sweaters and parade them around town as if they are contributing members of society.

5. FYI - A friend of mine told me today that he saw a lady walking a sheep near the hospital. This is not a joke and I believe his story. Not even the most creative of characters could come up with something like that. In an effort to be a great journalist I need a couple of more sources before I type up anything about this for others to read. Can anyone confirm this and if so do you have the number to U-Haul or any other company that can assist me in moving?

That is all I have about pets for now. I suspect I will only get more and more annoyed by pets and the privilege they live in this town once my kid starts going to school. That is if the schools suck, I don’t even know if they do but I do know some parents who lead the PTA around town are a little rough around the edges!

Having No Conscience

2008-02-26T00:20:00.000-08:00

My wife was watching the new show on Fox about telling the truth while taking a lie detector test. For whatever reason the name escapes me and I am too lazy to try and find it. By the way, I am not trying to lie and say that my wife was watching it when in fact I was. I generally do give it a look (what can I say I love to see people’s lives ruined) but tonight I was doing something related to a small, and I mean small, business I own.

Anyway, apparently tonight’s contestant made it very close to the end by answering such questions as: Have you cheated on your husband?, Did you love someone else on your wedding day?, Do you still love your ex-boyfriend?, Do you know secrets about your dad your mom does not know? Now, it’s not that she answered them but she answered them all in a way that would lead you to believe her husband would never see it. On the contrary, he was looking her in the eye from about 15-feet away the entire time. So this lady completely ruined her marriage, though I think she did that a long time ago, and was going for $200,000 or so. Her question she had to answer truthfully was, “Do you think you are a good person?” Come on, with all of the questions she had answered they gave her a softball. She had spent a half hour answering this question. Unfortunately, for her, she thought she was a good person and the lie detector sent her home empty-handed, in more ways than one.

This lady was so stupid, but you know she really thinks she is a good person even if her lie detector results tell otherwise. This relates to sports in a roundabout way. As stupid as this lady is, she is no more stupid than Roger Clemens. He truly believes he did not do anything wrong. Tie him up to a lie detector and he will tell you he did it the right way even if the buttocks in his slacks has blood stains while taking the test. Only folks that think Derek Jeter is a good shortstop could believe Clemens is innocent. I mean, who else on the day before Valentine’s Day would throw his wife under the bus when talking to Congress about steroids?

As an aside, after reading all of this you probably doubt that I did not watch this episode. If you are married you know getting a description about a show in this great of detail is par for the course!

Playing For The Win

2008-02-17T21:59:00.000-08:00

ESPN was nice enough to provide 'bonus coverage' yesterday of the UConn (I have been on their jock for about 3 weeks now, watch for them to advance in the Tourney) and South Florida. The game was being played in South Florida so I'm not sure if the broadcasters were a part of USF or UConn. If forced to guess I would say UConn since they actually have a team that's good enough to have its own ESPN Plus agreement. That is not all that important though. What is important is that the rules of basketball must have changed since my decorated days in junior high school. I missed the part where a one-point field goal was added to the rules. Why do I say this? Well, a broadcaster asked a question to his partner that leads me to believe one-point field goals are possible.

With UConn leading 72-71 and 19.7 seconds remaining in the game the broadcaster asked, "What do you do, go for the win?" I went crazy and railed on this guy immediately so I was not able to get the reaction to such an insightful question. Needless to say, USF went for the win and made a daring two-point shot. Stan Heath, USF's coach, has huge balls for calling such a play when everyone in the building knew a one-pointer would send the game into overtime. The only problem is that UConn had enough time to make a buzzer beater so Heath's strategic genius was not rewarded.

Mr. Smith Goes To Washington

2008-02-13T22:55:00.000-08:00

Apologies for the tacky title but it is appropriate. Many people probably watched the hearings today involving Roger Clemens and wondered who on earth is telling the truth. I, on the otherhand, wondered why all of the talking heads asking questions were so old. After seeing the U.S. Representatives in all of their shining glory I am certain I can be one. Not in 30 years, but tomorrow. Not a single one of them was overly impressive and none of them struck me as having any idea what the hell was going on. I’m sure friends of politicians want to tell me that sports are not their cup of tea and they are experts on other things but I don’t want to hear any of it. Taxpayers and voters elect these folks to have their acts together and do research if needed. Whether you think Congress should be grilling baseball players is up for debate but when a representative has a couple of weeks to get ready I should not here one of the blue hairs, Paul E. Kanjorski (D-PA), wonder who went to Joe-see Can-sucko’s party.

In addition to screwing up the name of a player that has actually given testimony more than once, Kanjorski was lame. Instead of asking Clemens or McNamee a question he chickened out and asked Scheeler of the Mitchell Report some questions. In addition to asking the one guy present that did not need to answer any questions, Kanjorski was asking Scheeler questions that did not pertain to him. Kanjorski wanted Scheeler to describe inconsistencies in the Mitchell Report. The only problem was that the inconsistencies were a result of what was in the Mitchell Report and what was in a sworn deposition after the Mitchell Report came out. Kanjorski time for you to retire, you are terrible at reading and need to learn how to create a timeline so you don’t look like a buffoon.

Then we had Dan Burton (R-IN) get on his high horse and give a heartfelt story on how he felt Clemens was a titan in baseball and McNamee is the scum of the earth. Burton didn’t really get many questions out during his time but he had no reason to use the microphone due to his loud and emotional plea. His love for Clemens was a bit over the top even when it’s this close to Valentine’s Day. I do know that if I were a lobbyist on Capitol Hill, Burton would be my first target. All I need to do is take him out for lunch or pay for his commute on the Metro and he’ll sell his firstborn for my cause.

Tom Davis (R-VA) really got on my nerves. He had a starring role, in addition to being Clemens’ third attorney, because he was co-chairman or something. I realize that politicians as a rule are slick and probably sleazy but I got the impression he was in the front of that line. Davis knew he was going to be on TV a lot, probably because he loved Clemens so much, so he sported a pinstriped suit. I generally have nothing against pinstriped or attention-grabbing suits (see my Senior Ball outfit) but in this case he did not need to be or try to be the show. Just show up in a dark suit like everyone else and get to the bottom of the PED issue in baseball. Hey Davis, you’re not there to look like an NBA player or a nominee at the Grammy’s.

One of these days I’m going to consider putting my hat in the ring. I know how to read, do research and work my balls off. Aside from not having any money or the desire to be a sellout to any one political party or cause I think I’m perfect for a position in Congress. Well, I would also have to move because the letter after my name would make people in my current district want to get syphilis before voting for me but maybe I’ll just throw an ‘I’ after my name to make it work.

The NBA Is Screwed

2008-02-13T22:53:00.000-08:00

The Dallas Mavericks appeared to have made a blockbuster trade until one of the players they tried to trade refused to waive his no-trade clause. Given only that information you would have to assume the player was Dirk Nowitzki. Who else on that team would you give that type of clause to? Josh Howard might fall into that category but that is it. Well, think again. Devean George has a no-trade clause and used it today.

Here I thought Mark Cuban had his act together. I was obviously wrong. With this news I would imagine Cubs fans are rethinking the idea of having Cuban as a potential owner. You can’t let someone that would give Devean George a no-trade clause buy the beloved Cubs. This day in age I am rarely stunned beyond belief with news about athletes. I admit that Devean George being the reason the Mavericks are not getting Jason Kidd is one of these times.

George is only in the NBA because he was able to hit a couple of wide-open, and I mean wide-open 3-pointers, when he played with Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant. Can you imagine how many players would have a no-trade clause if it was given to all players that can hit an open 3-pointer with those two guys as teammates? I think David Stern needs to worry less about putting teams in Europe and worry more about the NBA being ruined. It is much healthier for a league to give A-Rod $300M than it is to have Devean George telling his owner he is not going to be traded.

Ridnour Played 4 Years At Oregon

2008-02-13T22:52:00.000-08:00

It has been nearly a week since I heard this but it still bothers me so I had to mention it. As this season has gone on for the Oregon basketball team people have been up and down with the guard play. One day the guards are young and inexperienced and the next day they are playing really well due to excellent coaching. During nearly every broadcast the local broadcasters remind the viewers that Aaron Brooks and Luke Ridnour struggled in their first season as well. I’m not sure I totally agree with comparing Ridnour to the current point guards but that’s not the point.

During the California-Berkeley game on Saturday the esteemed Rob Kloss said something to the effect of, “Brooks and Ridnour did not come into their own until their senior seasons.” I did in fact rewind the TiVo to make sure I heard that right and I did. Of course, I do not dispute the Brooks part of that but I question why Ridnour has to be mentioned. The primary reason being he left for the NBA after his junior year. A senior year he never played. Does Kloss forget the epic Elite Eight run during Rid’s sophomore season? I am fired up for the next OSN broadcast because I am certain I will have something to write about.

Use Google Reader Now

2008-02-13T22:49:00.000-08:00

I’m not sure if anyone reading this blog (that is, if anyone actually reads it) enjoys reading multiple blogs but if you do I hope you have found Google Reader. (Yes, I do realize I'm probably late to this party.) I came across it yesterday and it has already changed my life. Knowing Google there are probably a number of functions Google Reader has but to the layman (or woman, I suppose) it brings all of your favorite blogs to one place. For people with a blog addiction this is incredibly helpful. Instead of going to each blog 14 times a day you just go to Google Reader and all of the posts you haven’t read are presented. When I set this up yesterday I realized I go to a ton of blogs (23 or 24 to be nearly exact). This is somewhat embarrassing but I’m already married so I have nothing to worry about. I am not a blog expert but Google Reader can fill you in on how to set it up. Just be on the lookout for ‘RSS’ or an orange fan-looking thing in the right-hand corner of where you type in a website address on Firefox on your favorite blogs to add them to your list.

For your peace of mind this is not a paid advertisement, it's just me looking out for you.

'The Big Game' Ads

2008-02-07T16:40:00.000-08:00

It has been a few days since 'The Big Game' so I think it is appropriate to name my Top 4 ads. Any advertiser worth his or her salt should be dying to know what I think a few days after. There are countless people out there with an immediate breakdown on the winners and losers but I gave all of the ads time to sink in (or to forget practically all of them). If they are paying $2M+ just to show the commercial they better hope it resonates for more than 17 minutes. Well, now that I have explained why my list is so important let’s take a look at them. In no particular order:

Fire Breath: This was an early ad from Bud Light but it was hilarious. Hilarious is generally what I am looking for. The part I liked best was that I think it is highly probable that the main character does not have pets since he was allergic to cats. I like people that don't have pets. I despise pets so I think the girlfriend deserved to have her place catch on fire due to a sneezing attack.

Unibrow Babe: If I remember correctly this was a Planters ad. I loved that the chick was clearly not attractive (unibrow, glasses, whacked outfit, weird gait, a bit portly, etc.) but was still able to attract the guys. You know that girl paid close attention to all of those stupid self-esteem assemblies in elementary school. For anyone that cares I do not have a fondness for the aroma of nuts.

Will Ferrell: Just as I don’t have a fondness for nuts, I generally am not all that excited about men in short shorts with a leg raised but this was an exception. I’m terrible at remembering lines so I can't give any examples but Ferrell used some great ones to describe his affection for Bud Light.

Victoria’s “Story I Don’t Want To Tell You”: If I’m not mistaken this was Victoria’s Secret’s first Super Bowl ad and they did a great job. This commercial will likely be used in advertising classes at journalism schools across the globe for years to come. Seeing the hot model in lingerie was nice and all but the truly redeeming part of this ad was that it got me thinking about Valentine’s Day. Here all along I thought that holiday was a bunch of crap. Who knew Victoria’s Secret would open my eyes to the necessity of such a holiday? Is it just me or is Valentine’s Day a much better holiday when Victoria’s Secret is reminding me about it and not some chocolates and flowers place?

Go here to view all of the commercials from 'The Big Game' if you so desire. Note, I use the term 'The Big Game' because the NFL is far more concerned about me using trademarked names than it is ensuring that teams are not blatantly cheating.

Our Civic Duty

2008-01-30T23:47:00.000-08:00

The big happening in our house this weekend is a visit from my in-laws. I love my in-laws and greatly appreciate every trip that they make up here. My only wish is that they could visit more often. That is enough of the sentimental stuff because I’m actually a little bummed about this visit. My mother-in-law was called to jury duty and was placed on a case at the beginning of the week. My in-laws were scheduled to be here on Thursday but that has been delayed until at least Friday. The judge promised her the case would be over by Wednesday or Thursday. Well, it looks like that was lie. Some jackleg has decided that he/she is going to go out on a limb. As of tonight 11 members of the jury fall on one side and the lone ranger is on the other.

I bring up the jury duty story because it reminded me of my first, and so far only, jury duty experience. I could go off on how angry I was at being summoned because it was about 3 months after I finished graduate school but I won’t. Just so you know, my anger relates to having to pay out-of-state tuition when I felt I should have been in-state. See if I ever donate money UO!

Okay, to the case. I was part of a group of 25 or so and we entered the courtroom. The judge and all of the other characters filed in and gave us the protocol. If I remember correctly the judge told us it was a drunk driving case before the plaintiff appeared. Then the plaintiff appeared and I thought for sure I was part of a prank. The supposed drunk driver was not over 42 inches tall. Yes, 42 inches tall! If I had not been sitting on the aisle I would not have even seen the plaintiff. I scanned the courtroom to see if there was a hidden camera crew or if someone else was laughing. To my surprise there was no camera and I was the only person that was struggling to maintain my composure.

The jury selection started after the plaintiff strolled in. I was towards the end of the group so it would have taken a miracle for me to be called to the jury box. No more a miracle than a 42-inch person driving, let alone driving drunk, but a miracle nonetheless. The jury was selected before I had a chance to display my ignorance but I had it all planned out. I would have told the attorneys that I could not in good conscience believe that lady had driven drunk without video evidence of her actually driving, and footage of her driving a golf cart would not have swayed me. It’s a classic question to ponder: Does a person 42-inches tall drive drunk without being able to drive at all?

Ballets Are Gross

2008-01-29T21:39:00.000-08:00

I like basketball but I love football. With no meaningful football last weekend and only one game remaining (I won’t call it the Super Bowl so that the NFL can’t sue me.) I’m stuck surrendering the TV to my wife. As a result, I was lucky enough to watch some figure skating over the weekend. In the spirit of full disclosure, I actually went to the U.S. Figure Skating Championships with my family when they were held in Washington, D.C. a while back. I am proud to admit that I fell asleep within 30 minutes of arriving and did not wake up until we left.

Okay, back to this weekend. A great part of a figure skating broadcast is the announcing. The announcers say some of the craziest things and do it while talking in a soft voice as if talking normal really matters. What I heard on Saturday night floored me. In fact, I was grossed out. It was spoken as if it was not a big deal. My wife didn’t even think it was that bad. Maybe it’s a gender thing.

I never got the name of the lady that said this but she was the only lady in the booth. As a teenage girl was prancing on the ice she flippantly noted, “The ballet is about a man that inadvertently falls in love with a doll.” Of course I know it isn’t a true story, I think, but what demented mind would think to write an entire ballet on that topic?

Excuses Are Like…

2008-01-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

When I astutely observed that the trip to Oregon was the easiest in the Pac-10 I didn’t think it was that easy. Again, it’s obvious the presence of Oregon State makes the trip one of the easiest in the country but I was not prepared for the happenings at Mac Court, the pathetic and embarrassing Pit Crew not withstanding. By Sunday a home team from Oregon will have a recent home win though. There is no doubt in my mind the Ducks will win. If at any point in time the outcome is in doubt someone will have a lot of explaining to do.

It sucks when the Ducks lose but being the ‘glass half full’ guy that I am there is one good thing that comes out of a loss: Excuses. I watch every minute of every game because I want to be able to guess what the excuse might be the next morning. Let’s see, the UW loss was because they were 0-3 and really needed a win, the WSU loss was a result of unlucky bounces and the inevitability of winning streaks coming to an end. Those excuses were weak but nothing compares to the last two games. We lost to UCLA because one of our seniors came down with cramps in the second half. Then the USC loss was attributed to a clock malfunction and a blown call on the overtime tipoff. Now you know why I am so confident the Ducks will beat OSU. These excuses keep getting more outrageous. There is no way the most ardent Duck fan will be able to believe the next one.

It is appropriate to quickly breakdown the clock malfunction and overtime tip excuse. As I see it, attributing a sluggish overtime start to Mac Court being older than God is stupid. If I remember correctly USC had to wait to play. They had to sit and stand around just like Oregon, and they had to do it in hostile territory.

Now, the tip excuse has a bit more merit but not much. If the result of a tip truly did decide the outcome of a game then a lot of 7-foot stiffs would be starters. So the refs appeared to blow the call on the tip, who cares? There were still 5 minutes remaining and the score was still tied. It’s not as if USC received 10-points for getting the ball. It is true that USC made some outrageous 3-pointers in OT but you have to give them credit. A freshman and sophomore suffering from cramps (Mayo took an IV after the game) hit some big shots on the road.

It is incredibly ironic that some Duck fans are blaming the refs for the loss. Short memories perhaps? Just over a year ago Duck fans went nuts claiming their intellectual superiority to Oklahoma fans for blaming refs for a loss There is no person that could argue the blown tip call was as crucial to the final outcome as the onside kick call. Thankfully I have not heard anyone suggesting a boycott of the Pac-10 but you get the point. Blaming the refs for a blown call at the start of overtime is asinine. The Ducks had plenty of time to overcome the ‘tragic’ call they just did not do it. Blame losses on the refs, clocks, the next day’s snow, consecutive Sundays on national TV and whatever else. Just know that the Pac-10 standings and NCAA bubble don’t buy any of it.

Willamette Valley Is Easy

2008-01-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

After polling the founder, writer and chief editor of this blog it is official: The easiest trip in the Pac-10 is the trip to play the Oregon schools. With all of the talent in the southern portion of the conference, the two Northwest trips were in contention for the honor. After Oregon and Oregon State had a brilliant 0-4 weekend in Washington there really is no argument. I could care less how scary Mac Court is, the Willamette Valley is the friendliest place in the Pac-10 for visiting teams. Let’s rundown the two teams to see why that is.

First up is the squad that guarantees every team at least one win on the Oregon trip. The Beavers are by far the worst BCS Conference school. I don’t have the exact number but I believe OSU is in the low 200s in RPI. There are just over 300 teams that make up Division I. (If you do visit the RPI sites you’ll recognize that a fair number of Oregon’s non-conference opponents from the last couple of years are the only ones below OSU.) With a team that is so bad it’s no wonder that head coach Jay John was fired yesterday. He didn’t even make it halfway through the conference season. In addition, the ESPN scroll is telling me that they have dismissed the walking foul, C.J. Giles. Giles was kicked out of Kansas for a myriad of reasons but John needed something so he brought on Giles. It obviously didn’t work for either guy. Without a conference win it’s not too far-fetched to think they could go winless in the conference and be one of the worst Pac-10 teams ever.

Then there is the UO basketball squad. For whatever reason they are 3-3 in conference play though they have 3 senior starters. NBA teams wish they had that kind of continuity in their rosters. You’d think the Ducks would be able to use their vast advantage in experience to jump to the top of the conference rankings but it seems as though they are heading in the opposite direction. If you read about a Ducks’ win you’ll read that their freshman point guard is following in the footsteps of Luke Ridnour and Aaron Brooks. Then when the Ducks lose, it’s all of a sudden the fault of the young point guard making bad decisions (see loss to Washington). I guess the coach can have it both ways but I think it would be more productive to blame the seniors that can’t seem to come through in the clutch. Bottom line, three starting seniors is not four? Another problem could be that the Ducks don’t seem to care. They let a chance slip away against WSU last night and the coach chalks it up to fate and a few unlucky bounces. (That’s funny, I don’t remember that being the explanation last year when 3-pointers off the backboard in the same gym were a credit to an excellent game plan.)

There you have it. If one had to pick the easiest trip in the Pac-10 you would have to say visiting the Oregon schools is the easiest one. Having the worst team in the conference by a mile makes it so. Then you add in the enigma that is Oregon (one night a contender for the Sweet 16 due to good coaching and senior leadership then the next night a NIT team due to one player’s inexperience) and you might leave with two wins. That is something that cannot be said about any other trip in the conference.

D1 Players Were Good In High School

2008-01-18T16:24:00.000-08:00

Living in the great state of Oregon I am privy to many broadcasts of UO sports via the Oregon Sports Network. Now, this is not a national network so I am usually more entertained by what the announcers say than what is actually being shown. This does not mean I don't like the Ducks, it's just that the quality of announcing is something else. Last night OSN broadcast the Ducks pathetic loss to the Washington Huskies. The analyst behind the mic was none other than Rob Kloss, a former Duck if I'm not mistaken. Now I'm sure he is a great guy and is successful in whatever line of work he is in but as an analyst he is pure comedy. I did not hear any legendary lines last night but he did have a line that is worthy of a mention.

When Kloss was talking about Venoy Overton, a freshman guard for the Huskies, he so eloquently analyzed, "He was a great high school player in high school." Well, thanks for that tidbit, I'll be sure to remember that next time I see him playing really well.

Broadcaster Brilliance

2008-01-16T11:41:00.000-08:00

I realize I have tried to start some regular columns on this here blog and not had the greatest success being diligent on continuing them. Upset Special and The OpinionSmith Ivy League come to mind. Well, perhaps the third time is the charm. With all of the sports I watch (I watch sports like it's my job) I hear some funny and outrageous things from broadcasters. It is in the interest of others that I share those with you so that you can gain enjoyment from their brilliance, just as I do.

The first 'Broadcaster Brilliance' comes from Patrick McEnroe at the Australian Open. Early in James Blake's match McEnroe noted, "His mom is here today. I saw her roaming the grounds."

(Photo from the UN.)

Local News Makes Me Smarter

2008-01-14T21:34:00.000-08:00

The beauty of living in a smaller city is that it is small. No matter how bad the traffic, it never really is that bad. Things on the other side of town are all of 15 minutes away, no matter the time of day. Don't get me wrong, there is a downside: quality of local news. For this reason I never watch local news but for some reason I watched about half of last night’s 30-minute newscast. It was absolute comedy.

Story #1: The lead story on the local news was a house fire in a nearby town. That obviously is not funny but the eyewitness account was. Joe Neighbor described the burning house then started tearing up. At this point he shared that he found the neighbor cat and rescued it but it was not breathing. He proceeded to give the cat CPR and after a few minutes he believed the cat was beginning to show signs of life. I’m not sure what else happened because I was absolutely stunned and needed to consult with my wife to make sure I heard that right. Being the animal lover I am not that was the last thing I expected to hear.

Story #2: Apparently some nasty gastroenteritis (sp?) has broken out in two areas of town. Where might this be? Well, one spot is a retirement home and the other is frat row. Am I the only one that is totally confused? How does a gastro something break out in those two places at the same time? I am having difficulty keeping my imagination under wraps and in a place that is appropriate. As a 25-year-old I find myself too old to hang out with the Greek Life folks. I can’t imagine what my grandpas would be doing with them.

Story #3: The city has a rather revolutionary and expensive bus that rolls through town. Yes, I wonder the same thing: How can a bus be revolutionary? That’s not the funny part though. According to the local transit department this bus was awarded honorable mention in its category by an international transportation group. The international group was never named, which I found suspicious and honorable mention was never defined. As far as I know honorable mention could mean the bus was self-nominated but not good enough to place. So every bus that participated received some type of recognition. I need more details to actually believe that this award means anything.

Story #4: As a tease for the weather forecast a cow in a random field was shown. It was kind of cool seeing the cow stare at the camera from a distance but I wasn’t sure what that had to do with the weather. Am I supposed to feel sorry for the cow because it has to stand in the rain for 9 months out of the year?

Story #5: The uber-talented sports reporter got in a few words about his upcoming segment on the local college basketball team before a commercial break. My wife heard him say, “rockin’ like dat” when talking about the home gym. I wasn’t sure if I heard those exact words but when it comes to listening my wife certainly is better than I at it. Our marriage couldn’t possibly be the only one where the wife is a better listener. Whether or not the sportscaster said those exact words we may never know but I have to go with what my wife heard.

As For Tonight: The lead story being talked about during commercials of primetime shows is a local family driving 1,000 miles with a dead grandma in the car. Something tells me this family loves to watch Little Miss Sunshine together.

Divisional Round Recap

2008-01-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

Seahawks Collapse: I have long thought the Seahawks were a really boring team to watch. No one on the team excites me but I think I’m their good luck charm. I watched the first couple of minutes then had to run all over town chasing materials for a baby nursery. Doesn’t my wife know it’s playoff football? When I returned home the field was covered in snow and the Packers had completely taken over the game. This isn’t a BCS Championship Game involving Ohio State, so I felt spotting the Seahawks a 14-point lead would be a bad idea. That was certainly wrong and good luck to the Packers in the next round. I’m going to save my thoughts on Brett Favre for a later post.

Jim Nantz: It’s one thing to hear a local radio guy opine on the greatness of the home team. It’s something else to hear Mr. Masters himself broadcast a national game of his favorite team. I admit that I absolutely hate the Patriots so I notice when announcers, and more often refs, love them too much. (I also hate the Chargers so the AFC Championship game is going to be like watching women’s basketball for me.) I did not watch the entire Jaguars vs. Patriots game but what I did see and hear was the president of the Patriots Fan Club in the CBS booth. Very early in the game the Jaguars scored and Nantz, at the top of his lungs, was screaming that the Patriots needed to challenge the call. It wasn’t the usual chatter you hear from a national broadcaster wondering if a play in the first quarter was worth a challenge. In fact, I’m pretty sure Nantz opened the booth window and yelled some colorful 4-letter words at Belichick for not throwing the challenge hankie during the commercial break. This was only one example but throughout the game I thought the broadcasters were at a Patriots tailgate party swearing the refs were against the Patriots and every call went the way of the Jaguars. Great work Mr. Nantz!

Rodney Harrison: I’ve established that I did not watch the entire game but based on what I did watch I would have guessed Harrison was the NFL Man of the Year. I could care less if this guy has an interception. Can someone mention that this guy is routinely voted the dirtiest player in the NFL? If he played for the Oakland Raiders (a team I strongly dislike by the way) he would be banned from the league. Not just for his steroid suspension earlier this year but for his repeated dirty play. Based on the way he plays, the way his team congratulates him and the way the announcers speak glowingly about him I would guess he gets paid, not by the tackle, but by the personal foul. I feel bad for people that have never watched football and watch the way he is celebrated and think that’s the way the game is supposed to be played. Don’t be surprised if in 10-15 years a new group of players lives off of the cheap shot and dirty play thanks to watching Harrison and noticing that he is so well thought of by the media.

Philip Rivers: The NFL Playoffs are unfulfilling for me. There are so many players left that I cannot stand. Rivers is #1 on that list. Ever since I saw him trash talk Jay Cutler on Christmas Eve I believe the devil has a special spot reserved for him in that place that’s really warm. Has anyone ever seen a NFL quarterback trash-talk the other team’s quarterback from the other side of the field in a blowout? And to top it all off Rivers flat out sucks. Somehow he has found a way to be worse with quarterback “genius” Norv Turner to boot. It takes someone special to make a genius look completely unqualified but Rivers has found a way. Today further adds to the Rivers legacy. He may have played well, I don’t really know. What I do know is that backup Billy Volek drove them 80+ yards down the field for the game-winning touchdown in the 4th quarter. Then what do you know? At the end of the game Rivers was trash-talking with the Colts fans. Stay classy San Diego’s own Philip Rivers.

Tony Romo: I have found out how I can get wives to watch a football game. Too bad I did not know this yesterday! The trick is to have the gossip magazines talk about the star player the week before the game. If I had a dollar for every time my wife mentioned Jessica Simpson during today’s game my bank account would be doing very well. Anyway, there was a ton of talk about whether Romo should have gone to Mexico during the bye week. Personally, I could care less. The bigger problem is that he went down there with Simpson and her dad. That is unacceptable and if Romo doesn’t watch out the dad might ruin his career too. What is Romo’s problem? With all of the hot girls in Dallas he has no reason to date the one with a dad on a leash and all that other baggage.

Channel Surfing: During halftime of one of the games I went channel surfing. Big mistake. I came across a women’s basketball game and thought it would be fun to implement something a friend does: Don’t change the channel until a basket is scored. About 6 minutes later I was still watching the game. It was unwatchable. To call it basketball is an insult to James Naismith and anyone else that cares about the game. Would the media please quit telling me women’s basketball is exciting and full of world-class athletes? If I’m not mistaken, reputable journalists need multiple sources before going with a story. Political correctness should never trump integrity.

Laughing At U Dub

2008-01-10T21:43:00.000-08:00

It was reported today that a University of Washington booster sent the school an e-mail pledging $200,000 to the school. As a law school graduate he was going to give $100,000 to the law school and then the other half of the donation was going somewhere else within the school. (Read the details here.) I find it very nice and admirable to pledge such a significant amount of money to one’s alma mater. There is no chance I would ever do that. I just hope I get the chance to never do that!

There are only a couple of conditions this booster placed on his pledge. The donation to the law school was dependent on the athletic director being fired and the other $100,000 would be handed over if the head coach were fired. My first reaction was, “Wow, having such an over-the-top booster is just what UW deserves.” Then, I simply laughed and thanked my lucky stars that my alma mater doesn’t have the same type of crazy booster.

Only one problem, fans of the UO are the only fans in America that can’t laugh at the ludicrous news coming out of Seattle. When I went to one of my favorite blogs, written by the esteemed Rob Moseley, I came across his entry concerning the brilliance of the UW booster. He mentioned that he felt sorry for UO’s athletic director if he had to deal with these types of e-mails. That is when I stopped laughing at UW. Why? The UO has a booster running its athletic department. He isn’t offering to donate money based on who is employed by the school. He is the one handing out employment.

Everyone knows UO’s athletic director paid the multiple millions to get rid of the previous athletic director then months later ended up taking the job himself. Whatever you think of that situation, facts are facts. As lame as the UW booster is, he in no way has the type of influence UO boosters have. So I find it highly hypocritical for UO fans to loathe in the insanity of UW boosters.

Back to UW. The law school is reportedly receiving $100,000 due to the fact that the athletic director “resigned” effective January 31. There does not appear to be a link between this and the e-mail but you have to love the world of college sports. People donate money when someone that has not met expectations or is incompetent gets fired. Can you imagine how much money other public entities would make if they received additional money for firing these types of employees?!

Bowl Wrap-Up

2008-01-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

Incredible Boredom: I have a serious addiction to college football. In fact, New Year’s is only a big deal to me because it means there are multiple football games to watch. Rarely, do I make it to midnight because I need to wake up early to watch the first game. Well, this year that totally backfired. The only game worth watching (Michigan vs. Florida) was the first game of the morning for me. The USC vs. Illinois game was a debacle (special thanks go out to Tom Hansen for that) and Georgia vs. Hawai’i was the worst bowl game I remember watching in many years. That game more closely resembled an SEC preseason game where they pay some hapless I-AA team to get their heads beat in. Now that I have had a couple of days to think about it, I am thrilled I woke up early. If I had decided to see some silly glass ball drop on tape delay I would have never seen a competitive game. To not see a competitive New Year’s Day bowl game would have been an awful start to 2008.

“They are who we thought they were!”: If anyone was surprised by Ohio State’s performance in the BCS Championship Game then you are an idiot. I doubt I’m offending anyone reading this since if you are smart enough to read you would not have thought Ohio State had a chance. My favorite explanation for why this year would be different was because expectations for Ohio State were different. The theory went that last year Ohio State started to believe the media hype and decided not to show up. Whereas this year the media dogged on them so they were going to be inspired to prove them wrong. That logic does not deserve any more discussion, it is that stupid.

Assistant Coaches Getting Dunked: I’m sure this has happened before but I noticed a lot of assistant coaches getting the Gatorade bath this year. The first team I noticed was the Oregon squad but I also noticed some of the BCS teams doing it. It makes sense that these coaches are the ones getting drenched. These coaches are the ones that the players deal with every single day. The head coach doesn’t hang out with every player every day. In fact, my guess is that a player most often deals with the head coach when he is being a screw up. It was cool seeing the position coaches getting drenched. They seemed pleasantly surprised and given the amount of time they devote to each player, the recognition is deserved.

Sun Bowl Sponsor: I love Brut! That was a common phrase among some friends that made the trek to “beautiful” El Paso. The only problem is that many people I have talked to have no idea what Brut is. Some people just had no guess and others thought it was a wine. This Brut is actually in the male fragrance sector. Most grandpas probably are all too familiar with Brut but anyone who does not have grandchildren has never used the product. If you are dying for some Brut product I know some people that would gladly send it your way so just send an e-mail. Sources close to me say a more appropriate sponsor for the Sun Bowl would be a lip balm manufacturer. The Sun Bowl folks could wage quite a bidding war for the game’s official sponsor if they pitted ChapStick and Carmex against each other.

Totally Unrelated: While typing this I watched the New Hampshire Primary speeches from Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Though I likely wouldn’t vote for either, if forced to pick one it would certainly be Obama. That guy has incredible charisma. I could care less if he doesn’t have a track record. What good is a track record anyways? All politicians do is lie and go back on their words. None have conviction in their ideas so I’m not sure a lack of a track record or definitive game plan is that tragic. Anyhow, let’s just say I could listen to Obama on the stump. On the other hand, I’d much rather have a ball rash than listen to Hillary ramble and ramble and ramble on.

Hawai'i Is Really Good

2008-01-02T18:22:00.000-08:00

After watching Hawai'i play the vaunted Washington Huskies I felt they were extremely overrated and had no place in a BCS bowl. Well, I hate to brag but I was right. I am not sure what bothered me more though: Hawai'i being awful or the Fox broadcast crew being terrible. I watched the entire game (I'll touch on that in a later post) and waited for the announcers to divulge the truth. They briefly mentioned that Hawai'i had the most embarrassing schedule known to man. They even wanted to keep my intrigue by explaining that Hawai'i had come back from significant deficits already this year. These deficits were against Washington and San Jose State. Let's see how impressive those teams are. Washington's entire defensive staff has been fired, the athletic director was pushed out the door and head coach Willingham will likely be fired next year. San Jose State is a commuter school that should probably be in Division II. In no way do these teams resemble a legitimate bowl team, let alone Georgia. Just so you know, my bold proclamation is that Georgia would win the National Championship if a playoff were in effect. This belief in no way reflects last night's performance. It was only made stronger after watching it.

In addition to never mentioning the strength (or weakness) of schedule the Fox broadcasters must have thought they were only being broadcast on Eugene cable access. For those not from Eugene or familiar with it, Eugene is the place you hear about that doesn't keep track of scores in youth leagues and all kids are told they are winners no matter how bad they are. I know, I thought a place like that didn't really exist either. Well, the broadcasters seemed to be in near tears for Hawai'i. They clearly should not have been in the game and had no chance to win so the announcers started to pile on Georgia for trying to put up a ton of points.

As I see it, without a playoff system all Georgia can do is demolish whatever opponent is provided them in a bowl. Perhaps if they send a strong enough message and the "National Championship" game is a dud some folks will vote Georgia #1. Of course it's unlikely but without the ability to prove it on the field Georgia wanted to pile it on. I don't blame them one bit for taking advantage of the media hype that allowed Hawai'i to undeservedly play in a BCS bowl. For this reason people should not feel sorry for Hawai'i. They played the most pathetic schedule ever. It was so bad that Ohio State was offended.

Don't even get me started on Illinois in the Rose Bowl. My fury and anger towards the Rose Bowl snobs, Pac-10 Commissioner Tom Hansen included, is at an all-time high. There is no doubt in my mind a matchup of USC and Georgia would have been more anticipated than the "National Championship" game. If the bowls were based on a team's actual ability (e.g., a playoff system) Hawai'i and Illinois would have been perfect for the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl in the consolation bracket.

Republican Hopefuls

2007-12-24T10:23:00.000-08:00

Now it is the Elephants’ turn to prove themselves worthy of the nomination from The OpinionSmith.

Rudy Giuliani: Quite simply the most pathetic athletic resume I have ever seen. All I have found is that he is a Yankees fan. If a tyrannosaurus rex was in the presidential race, the dinosaur would get the nod over Guiliani if you asked me. And to top it all off he isn’t even that good at being a Yankees fan. He was rooting for the Red Sox in the most recent World Series. That is the true definition of a politician: Moronic.

Mike Huckabee: He is a former Baptist preacher, which isn’t impressive from an athletic standpoint. But did you know that the Baptist preacher at my church growing up played college and semi-pro basketball? Even more impressive is that Huckabee lost 110 pounds after finding out he had adult-onset diabetes. To put that in perspective: He lost my wife! I recall seeing him in a Runner’s World issue a while back because of the weight loss and the fact that he has run four marathons.

Duncan Hunter: He served in Vietnam but was not a POW, which I’m sure he is thankful for. The fact that he wasn’t a POW does not lessen the fact that he fought though. Hunter represents San Diego, which is a city I am very fond of from a sports perspective. I played in Spring Break baseball tournaments in my high school days and my wife ran a marathon there.

John McCain: Everyone should be familiar with the fact that McCain was a POW during Vietnam after his plane was shot down. If you’re not, shame on you. I encourage you to read up on his time in captivity because it’s quite amazing. All in all, McCain spent 5.5 years as a POW. Some lesser-known facts on him are that he received two varsity letters as a prep wrestler, boxed while attending the Naval Academy and drove a Corvette and dated an exotic dancer out of school. If that last tidbit doesn’t resonate with today’s professional athletes nothing will.

Ron Paul: Fairly impressive athletic resume when compared to the other characters in the race. He was the Pennsylvania state champion in the 220-yard dash and finished 2nd in the 440-yard dash in high school. Given those distances that must have been a long time ago since I’ve never heard of races at that distance. Rumor has it, Paul had a track scholarship but due to an injury he figured it would be prudent not to take the risk. He also competed in wrestling, football and baseball.

Mitt Romney: He has the best chance of relating to the lifestyle of an elite professional athlete. His net worth is estimated to be between $190M and $250M. You know you have a lot of money when the gap between the low end and high end is $60M. Romney did have a successful run as CEO of the Salt Lake Organizing Committee. From all accounts Salt Lake did a great job hosting the 2002 Winter Olympics and Romney gets some credit since he took over after it was determined the previous regime was corrupt.

Tom Tancredo: He taught junior high school before selling out and becoming a politician. A lot of junior high teachers are known to coach so maybe Tancredo did some of that. He is known for his hard-line stance on immigration so you have to figure he is a huge fan of Team USA at the Olympics or any other international competition.

Fred Thompson: After high school he worked nights at a bicycle assembly plant. This isn’t really the same as competing in the Tour de France but what else can you expect from an actor. Thompson had a role in Necessary Roughness (also starring Kathy Ireland, who was in the SI Swimsuit Issue a time or two) and Days of Thunder. Not exactly the makings of a decathlete here.

The Pick: Needless to say this group is much more impressive from an athletic standpoint than the Democrats. I get the impression that some of these guys have actually played sports during their lives. Since The OpinionSmith values winning more than just participating the choice is Ron Paul. He actually won a high school state championship. I love the fact that he knows how to win and that he did it in an individual event. There was no relying on teammates for Paul, just relying on his fast-twitch muscles.

Democratic Hopefuls

2007-12-22T10:09:00.000-08:00

The research has been done and consider yourself lucky. I am letting you in on how The OpinionSmith selects candidates from both parties. Without further ado here are the Donkeys.

Joe Biden: What is it with these East Coast lawyer types? Again, no mention of sports which makes voting for him impossible. In his first Senate election he beat J. Caleb Boggs. Wade Boggs, not sure if related, was quite a baseball player and even more of a legend when the liquor cabinet was involved. Biden also worked to pass a bill that made androstenedione illegal. I wonder what “worked” means. Does it mean he voted against it or actually laid some of the groundwork for the bill?

Hillary Clinton: Apparently she participated in tennis and other sports as a kid. Not exactly the most impressive sports resume. She certainly can relate to the career path of a middle reliever having been raised in Illinois and claiming Arkansas, Washington, D.C. and New York as home.

Chris Dodd: Dodd isn’t much of an athlete. If he really is he can thank his Wikipedia page for mentioning his athletic prowess exactly zero times. I really had to connect-the-dots to make mention of sports with this guy. He attended Georgetown Prep in Bethesda, MD. Since it is an all boys school you have to figure the school is a sports power. Since it’s a preppy East Coast school G Prep probably dominates crew, which isn’t all that impressive.

John Edwards: He was a football star in high school, which isn’t a surprise at all. With his charm and good looks you have to figure he was the James Van Der Beek from Varsity Blues at his own school. During his schooling Edwards attended three ACC schools (Clemson, NCSU, UNC). I’m guessing when he talks of two Americas he’s referring to his type (uber-rich) and the ‘poor’ folk he befriended at public universities.

Mike Gravel: Apparently he is a candidate. I saw him at the first debate and thought he was a paid actor trying to make the debate exciting. He drove a taxicab during college so he might be the choice of liberal NASCAR fans. I say fans but would be surprised if it was even a fan.

Dennis Kucinich: He was a third-string varsity quarterback in high school. I admit to respecting his honesty. He could have pulled a Richardson and said he was a Notre Dame recruit. Kucinich is vegan so his disdain for Michael Vick must be as high as anyone else’s. My love for meat (I know this makes me an evil Neanderthal but I have to be honest) makes voting for him unlikely.

Barack Obama: During his much-publicized childhood he spent time in Indonesia and Hawaii. I suppose this means he may have spent some time on a surfboard. He did play basketball in high school and continues to play. Obama claims to be a good poker player but I don’t consider that a sport so it factors very little into whether I pick him. Plus, who doesn’t say they are good at poker? If you have played poker against 3 friends and won the pot you say you are good. Lastly, Obama’s dad is Kenyan. Kenyans are phenomenal distance runners so if Obama decided to quit smoking (not a very athletic thing to do) he may become quite the runner.

Bill Richardson: Like many boys growing up Richardson played baseball in high school. Unlike many boys Richardson was selected in the baseball draft. Well, he said he was drafted. It turns out they keep track of such things and there is no record of a Bill Richardson being drafted. It’s easy to relate to someone that remembers his playing days fondly (though not quite to the level of lying about being drafted) so you might be able to relate to Richardson.

The Pick: The OpinionSmith has to go with Bill Richardson. I love recounting my days as a prep baseball prodigy. I batted .500 senior year (1 for 2) and definitely would have been drafted if I had wanted to be. It’s just that I wanted to move on with life and subject myself to college courses. Other factors that likely explain why I wasn’t drafted were that I peaked in my freshman and sophomore seasons, broke my thumb both years of varsity and was stuck behind someone currently playing AA ball for the Indians.

The Mitchell Report

2007-12-15T13:52:00.000-08:00

Just when I was getting ready to put the finishing touches on my presidential choices former Senator George Mitchell got behind the mic and released his findings. I didn't take the time to read the 400+ pages. For me, The Mitchell Report is of interest because I wanted to see the names. When I saw that over 80 names were included I felt I should see which team had the most accusers. What I did was use the fine statistical resource, Baseball-Reference, to find out which teams each player listed has played for over the course of his career. This only includes team played for through the 2007 season. I realize that in many cases the player may not have used performance enhancing drugs while on the team but go along with me here. It was hard enough trying to chart all of the names and teams, let alone read The Mitchell Report and figure out when they supposedly took the drugs. Now, I did not double-check the teams I marked for each and every player so it's reasonable to assume there are some inaccuracies. I assume the numbers to be fairly accurate though. Without any further ado, here is the list:

22 NYY
18 BAL
16 LAA, NYM
15 CIN, LAD, SD, TEX
13 BOS, CLE, SF
12 FLA, KC
11 ATL, CHI(N), COL, OAK, PIT
10 ARI, PHI, SEA, STL, TOR, WAS
9 MIL
8 HOU
7 DET, TB
5 MIN
4 CHI(A)

It certainly made my day when I counted the tallies and the Yankees showed up at the top. My disdain for the Yankees is obvious so I was fired up to see they have paid more players on the list to wear their uniform than any other team. To be honest the teams that suprised me most were the Mets, Giants and A's. I figured since the Mets former clubhouse slappy, Kirk Radomski, and BALCO (located in the Bay Area) were major players in this saga that those teams would be leading the charge. I didn't do anymore statistical analysis than what is shown above but a quick glance at the list does tell me one thing, I think. The top part of the list is dominated by teams along the East and West Coasts. The bottom of the list seems to consist of teams in between. I'm not sure what this means but it is interesting.

The only thing I conclude from the names provided is that performance enhancing drugs were a big deal in baseball. There is no way this is close to an exhaustive list of names. If somehow we had access to all the names that ever cheated in this way it wouldn't surprise me if every team had just about the same number of offenders.

My last point on The Mitchell Report is that no matter how much people want to bad mouth MLB for steroids and this report at least they are doing something. Everyone wants to pile on MLB for turning a blind eye and putting this report together without subpoena power. I ask you, what's the NFL doing? Players are being suspended on a weekly basis and when they return it's as if nothing happened. Whenever Barry Bonds plays all the announcers can talk about is steroids. When Rodney Harrison plays all they talk about is how much he loves the game. When Shawne Merriman plays all they talk about is how dominant he is and that he has really cool commercials.

Whether the media, public or both has forced MLB's hand I can't say. You never see MLB praising the virtues of its players that have tested positive. If the NFL doesn't watch out they are going to wish they learned from the backlash MLB received from steroids. Since the NFL is the most arrogant pro league in American sports they probably won't. They will feel really foolish when it happens because they had MLB's debacle as a chance to learn a lesson.

In The Works

2007-12-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

In the next couple of days I will be rolling out my latest investigative work. Since it’s getting close to the presidential primaries it is appropriate for The OpinionSmith to make known its picks. After analyzing the field for both the Republican and Democratic parties I chose one from each that best fits the ideals of The OpinionSmith. It is expected that if you are registered to vote and plan to do so in your state primary that you will choose the candidate recommended.

I looked at the race, not from an issues perspective, but from a sports perspective. My research has shown that some of the candidates have more, and in some cases far more, interests in athletics. For each of the candidates I went to his/her Wikipedia page to get the information. It was impossible to find out if any of these characters had a sporting past or present by looking at official campaign websites. Those sites spent their time on immigration, the economy, foreign relations and other issues that The OpinionSmith doesn’t care about.

It is understood that Wikipedia is not the end all source of factual evidence. For this reason I made sure that the information I used was cited and from a reputable source. I would not recommend going to each of the candidates’ Wikipedia pages unless you are incredibly bored. To save you time I will let you know about the candidates. Let’s see: a childhood of privilege, young adult years spent in prestigious law schools and adulthood selling their souls to their respective political party’s devil. A couple of these candidates do not fit this profile but they are the exception, not the rule. Just thank me for doing the legwork later. In summary, without sports I would have no chance to relate to any of them. Thankfully sports allow me to relate to this bunch so I’ll let you in on what I found in the coming days.

(Photo of White House from Ben's Guide.)

Born in 1938

2007-12-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

Video games have never been that big of a deal to me. We never had video games when I was growing up. In elementary school I begged for a Sega Game Gear but not hard enough. It’s just as well, I always had to be outside playing sports anyway. My big video game moment happened in middle school. My mom, sister and I waited in line during the wee hours of the morning at Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving. It was the day that Nintendo 64 was released. So of course, we waited in that line to buy Super Nintendo because it was super cheap. It was hilarious because there was a mad rush for the electronics department and my sister and I were the only ones jacked to see the Super Nintendo pile. In the 10+ years since my family has yet to buy another system.

Well, those days of never being that impressed/enamored with video games may be coming to an end. My wife and I had the pleasure of playing Wii Fitness. It was a lot of fun. I certainly was not any better at the Wii than any other video game system but I had a great time playing it. After playing a little bit of tennis, baseball and bowling the Nintendo Wii calculated my skill level to be that of a 69-year-old. Yeah, I thought of all the jokes too! I have no idea how the age was calculated. The thing about the Wii that made it fun for me was that I could run around the living room and prove that I was a top-notch athlete. I may have slipped and fell over the ottoman once or twice but I could care less.

What was difficult for me to handle was that my wife performed as a 46-year-old would. Only in video game land could a pregnant lady be that much more athletic than I! The 23-year difference can be attributed to bowling, which I found outrageous. She smoked me in that but I did very well in the home run derby in relation. That is the last of the complaining you’ll hear from me. The next time I play I will score better than my wife!

No Heisman For Dixon

2007-12-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

It was announced yesterday that Dennis Dixon is not a finalist for the most prestigious individual award in all of sports, the Heisman Trophy. Given that Dixon did not play in the final 2.75 games it is not a surprise that he isn’t a finalist but it is kind of sad. Before Dixon went down in Tucson he seemed to be the clear front-runner for the award. Unfortunately, it appears missing the last part of the season really hurt Dixon’s chances. I had no expectation that Dixon would win but was hoping he would at least be invited as a finalist.

As I understand, there are no real criteria for voting on the award. Sometimes voters pick the best player overall, most valuable or best player on a top team. The award has almost exclusively been given to offensive players though that technically is not required. As the last part of the Ducks season has shown Dixon would clearly be the winner if it was given to the most valuable player.

Another thing that hurt Dixon was that he was such a darkhorse coming into the season and through the first half of the season. Even the most diehard of Duck fans, local TV announcers come to mind, questioned whether or not he should have been the starter after spending 7 weeks of the summer playing baseball. It’s hard for a guy that even the Duck homers won’t get behind to have a pre-season Heisman campaign.

In the end, the biggest factor in Dixon not being invited to New York was not that he was injured or that some of the biggest Duck fans felt he should be benched for playing baseball. It was that he came from out of nowhere to contend for the Heisman. Imagine if Dixon had been the favorite for the award for the entire off-season and then played as he did. He most certainly would have been a part of the final discussion even after getting hurt. Since no one had anything invested in Dixon’s campaign (financial, emotional or otherwise) it was far easier for voters to dismiss Dixon once he got hurt. Whether that’s right or not, that’s for you to decide.

(Photo of Dennis Dixon from George Sakuma/AP.)

Broncos Finally Win

2007-12-04T23:40:00.000-08:00

It has been an extremely difficult and disappointing season for the Broncos. It has become so bad that Tuesday was the best day of the season as far as I can tell. Travis Henry won his appeal of a positive drug test and will not be suspended. Now that the season is practically over for the Broncos it is nice to know that Henry will be with the team for the remainder of this season. More importantly, Henry should be in the backfield next year when the Broncos totally redeem themselves.

Back to the drug test debacle. I realize this may be a surprise to some but I am not a doctor so I don’t know all of the medical jargon associated with the drug test. I do know that Henry tested positive for elevated levels of something. When the story first broke Henry claimed the test was not valid because he did not smoke pot and he did not have representation present at the test. What I like about this case is that Henry and the Broncos showed that they weren’t going to let the NFL run all over them. Too many times the players are treated like expendable assets by the league. Maybe this will inspire other players to stand up to the big, bad NFL.

A little known piece of this story that I heard on the radio a couple of weeks ago was that Broncos coach Mike Shanahan had Henry take a lie-detector test. Shanahan said that he believed Henry’s story but wanted a lie-detector test to be taken to prove it to everyone else. If Henry failed the test Shanahan said he was going to cut Henry. Well, Henry passed the test, did whatever he had to do to dispute the positive drug test and is not going to be suspended. I’m not sure who Henry’s lawyer is but if he can give the NFL the middle finger I think he is going to be quite busy representing other athletes in the future. As a Broncos fan I’ve had very little to get excited about this year. Given that, this certainly counts as something to get fired up about.

In entirely unrelated news: How does one manage front row seats at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? A legitimate answer may even top the news of Henry avoiding suspension.

(Photo of Travis Henry from AP.)

Was That The NBA?

2007-12-03T21:06:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching the Monday Night Football game against Baltimore and New England and all I can think is that David Stern has had a hand in preparing NFL officials. It sucks for the NFL that they want an undefeated team so badly because all of a sudden they started calling every play against the Ravens. On the Patriots final drive they converted a couple of 4th downs, well saying they converted them would be too generous. The referees decided after 59:30 of tough, hard-nosed football that they were going to call every ticky-tack foul they could. The most egregious penalty was on 4th and 5 from the 13. A touch by a Baltimore defender was called holding and as I watch the highlights on ESPN it’s no wonder they didn’t show a replay on the worst holding call of the weekend. If the NFL routinely called plays as closely as this one each game would average 40-45 penalties. I could have sworn I was watching David Stern’s referees directly change the outcome of games with selective penalty enforcement.

I definitely was not the only one that thought the referees decided they needed to do their part to keep the Patriots undefeated. After the Patriots scored on a catch that certainly could have been overruled but wasn’t, Bart Scott of the Ravens accumulated 30 yards in penalties. The referees called an unsportsmanlike penalty on Scott so he picked the flag up and threw it in the crowd. I thought it was great because it showed how much emotion the Ravens defense played with and how unfortunate it was that the referees would play such a crucial role in the game.

Championship Weekend In Review

2007-12-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

This last weekend was a big weekend for college football. As has been expected this season the #1 and #2 teams lost so the BCS was flipped upside down. Let’s just hope that this time the BCS is such a mess that they have no other choice but to implement a playoff-type system. No matter how small it will be better than what is being done at this point. With all of the big games my mind was racing.

The Civil War: The Ducks have found every way to top the pain of the previous week’s loss this past month. Each week I thought there was no way a loss could hurt more but each week I have been wrong. You will not find me making any excuses for the loss against the Beavers given the fact that the opportunity was there for a win. Everyone knows that if the game was played a month ago it would not have been close but it wasn’t played then so there is no need to whine about it. My one observation concerns the OSU defense. Coming into the game I was worried because statistically the OSU defense was as good as any in the nation (USC included). Well, after seeing them play against a shell of the UO offense I can only come to one conclusion. They are words spoken by a person smarter than I. “Statistics don’t lie, but you can lie with statistics.” When it comes to the OSU defense truer words have never been spoken.

Hawai’i: Since Hawai’i has been on TV quite a few times I have been able to see a lot of their games. Given all that was riding on their game against Washington I felt it appropriate that I watch the entire game. Well, if I were the god of a college football playoff there would have to be at least 32 teams in the tournament before I’d consider putting them in it. Washington was the only BCS conference team Hawai’i played all season. They were clearly the best team Hawai’i played all season. (Don’t anyone tell me Boise State is better because Washington dominated them.) Since Washington is part of the Pac-10 I have seen quite a bit of them and know that they are not a good team. If the only game you’d seen Washington play was their last one you might think differently. Hawai’i made Washington look like a Top 10 team if you believe Hawai’i is any good. Hawai’i was playing at home in the biggest game in their school’s history and they needed a questionable illegal pass by Washington QB Jake Locker (he’s going to be very good), a last minute touchdown and a last play stop after Washington drove the length of the field in 20 seconds. There was nothing impressive about the Hawai’i victory. There’s a chance that Hawai’i gives Georgia a game but it will do nothing to change my opinion about a WAC team being any good. If the conference’s biggest teams think they are big time because they play Washington they are mistaken. Given a month’s time to prepare any team can pull out an upset. It’s something else to actually play 3 good teams in a month (not in a player’s 5-year playing career), which WAC teams never do.

Weak Schedules: While on the topic of lame schedules I figure it’s a good time to talk about Ohio State. Last year, when USC was cleaning up in the Pac-10 I came to the following conclusion: There is no reason to have a competitive conference if a team plays a tough non-conference schedule. In fact, I think teams should root for their conference to be poor. It makes it a whole lot easier to shoot up the rankings (see Hawai’i or Ohio State). When talking about Ohio State a wise man once compared them to “qualifying for the U.S. Open by playing a par-3 golf course.” I find it funny, true and sad all at the same time. Now I can only conclude that the theory of playing a tough non-conference schedule is overrated too. Ohio State has proven there is no benefit to playing tough teams when the other option is to create a schedule that all but guarantees an undefeated season. The fact that Ohio State couldn’t even go undefeated is likely quite embarrassing but not nearly as embarrassing as getting pounded in the BCS Championship for the second year in a row.

No BCS for ASU: Last week on the radio Lou Holtz commended the Pac-10 for playing a round-robin league schedule. When the NCAA allowed for 12 regular season games the Pac-10 was the only conference that added a league game instead of a cupcake. Kansas coach Mark Mangino likes cupcakes on his schedule and dinner plate. In fact, I think he likes them on his breakfast and lunch plate too but I can’t confirm that. Back to Lou Holtz. He said that if it comes down to a Pac-10 team and a team from another conference a Pac-10 team should be chosen. Note that Holtz didn’t define it but you have to figure he was talking about BCS-type decisions. I thought Lou Holtz had a great point. So you know, it didn’t change my opinion of him since I already love him having grown up on Notre Dame football! With all of that said I don’t think ASU was screwed by the BCS. The Pac-10 didn’t deserve multiple BCS bids. Notre Dame (an epically bad team) only won 3 games, 2 of which were against Pac-10 teams. Need I say more.

Bowl Eligible: I do not get paid to watch or analyze college football but maybe I should. The people that do are complete morons. Does anyone really think that comparing how many bowl eligible teams are on a team’s schedule is a reasonable way to determine whose schedule is more challenging? If you have a brain you can’t. I’ve already explained how teams create non-conference schedules. As a reminder, teams create non-conference schedules to mirror Mark Mangino’s diet. Now the other piece of this pie (Mark Mangino probably likes pie too) is that a team only needs to be 6-6 to be bowl eligible. It doesn’t take a math major to realize that a team that is not from the Pac-10 only needs to win 2 conference games to be bowl eligible. There is nothing about bowl eligibility that impresses me and the media pundits need to realize this. In summary, a team can win its first 4 games then win 2 of its next 8 to be bowl eligible. Very impressive!

Hot Dancers Make For Good TV

2007-11-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

I spent the other night watching the finale of Dancing With the Stars. Luckily I am married so I can pass it off as having to watch what my wife wanted. Whether or not that’s true, one will never know. Since IndyCar driver Helio Castroneves was victorious this certainly is an appropriate forum to congratulate him on the victory. I did not, I repeat did not, watch every episode. In fact, I don’t think I watched one in its entirety so I can’t speak to whether or not Helio should have won. What I can say is that the young lady that is his partner, Julianne Hough, certainly could not have hurt his chances of winning. If I’m not mistaken she won the previous season with Apolo Anton Ohno (speed skater) so she must be a great dancer. It is also pretty apparent that she’s very good looking and to be honest nearly all of the female professional dancers are. That fact alone is the reason why I find the show bearable. My wife knows that’s why I watch the show and it doesn’t bother her, which makes her the coolest girl ever. Congratulations to Helio and I hope he is able to bounce back from the news that his engagement has been called off. Something tells me he’ll be just fine.

(Photo from abc.com)

Pre Is Smiling

2007-11-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

If I’m going to be crazy enough to congratulate the Beavers on their back-to-back college baseball championships I need to acknowledge the men’s cross country team at Oregon. Last week the Ducks regained their rightful place on the podium at the NCAA Division I Championships. Additionally, the very young and inexperienced women’s team finished 2nd, which leaves the rest of Division I wondering if they can ever win again. Oregon had not won a national championship in any sport since the late 1980s so it was time a trophy came back to Eugene. The men’s team will likely return every scoring runner (though Galen Rupp could go pro) and the women’s team only loses one scoring runner so the future is very bright.

(Photo from Geoff Thurner/UO Media Services.)

Investigation Is Over

2007-11-29T10:55:00.000-08:00

You come to this blog for unprecedented investigative work. After a couple of weeks of sleuthing I have found out that the actual number of people that attended the Oregon women’s basketball game on the night of the football battle against Arizona was about 400. As I understand it two people took it upon themselves to try and count every fanny in the house so I believe this number to be fairly accurate. Now, 400 is certainly greater than the 150 I guessed so it looks like Eugene will be missing me in a few years. Of course, I came up with this idea without talking to my wife so I may not be able to keep my word. I do commend Eugene on keeping the number below 500 but it still worries me. Given the boredom of women’s basketball this should be a seasonal average for attendance and not the attendance on a night when no people should be present.

Boras Has Last Laugh

2007-11-26T16:58:00.000-08:00

Ripping on Scott Boras has been the chic thing to do this offseason. He announces that A-Rod is going to be a free agent in the 4th game of the World Series so everyone gets their panties in a bunch. Everyone seems to have forgotten his announcement was the highlight of the most boring World Series ever. Additionally, the media is to blame for the whole thing. Boras did not force them to announce it during the game, Fox just knew the World Series sucked and they needed some reason for people to watch. But I think I have already gone over this so I'll move on.

For about a week the press and all of baseball wanted to rip Boras for having A-Rod opt out of a contract that guaranteed him $27M+ per year. At that point the 'rebuilding' Yankees, Hank Steinbrenner's words not mine, were not going to negotiate with A-Rod. They were offended that a player would want to become a free agent. I mean who could blame them, they've built their team on homegrown talent and routinely lose their best young players to other teams that pay them more.

It was repeated over and over, "Boras has overestimated the market for A-Rod." The thought was if the Yankees aren't one of the bidders there is no way A-Rod was going to get his $300M. Well, guess who was the genius after all and called the Yankees' bluff? Why it was none other than the horrible agent himself, Scott Boras. It doesn't matter at all that the Yankees asked that Boras need not be present at the negotiations. I suppose they were mad about having to deal with Boras and not that A-Rod wanted to get paid after all. As far as I'm concerned Boras did a great job of handling the opt out for A-Rod. Whether Boras was at the bargaining table or not, his client appears to be getting the $300M contract he promised.

My last point on the rumored A-Rod deal is that because the Yankees are the team he signed with nobody is talking about how this will ruin baseball. No one is talking about the foolishness of the Yankees for bidding against themselves for A-Rod. These are things that were said about the Rangers when they signed A-Rod seven years ago. I suppose it's a double standard when the media's favorite team is the one being duped by Boras and the greatest hitter of this generation. I'm not sure signing with the Yankees for so much will get A-Rod his World Series ring since the team is keeping everybody that has melted down in the playoffs. It will get him a lot of notoriety and an excellent chance to break Bonds' record though, which is all we could ask for.

(Picture of Scott Boras from Jamie Rector/New York Times.)

It's Been A Long 2 Weeks

2007-11-26T12:35:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago the Ducks were in prime position to visit the White House. Unfortunately one too many major injuries makes that dream a distant memory. It seems a lot of people (my dad included) are ready to jump off a cliff because Oregon's 5th string quarterback is not very good. Though everyone has the right to feel like the sky is falling and things need to be done one needs to realize that's too harsh a reaction. I believe that no organized football team could win with its 5th string quarterback. The player may be a nice guy but he is 5th string for a reason. It's not like he spent an offseason in a heated battle with others for that coveted 5th string spot. Just ask Oklahoma how good their 2nd string quarterback is.

Another thing I have heard is that the young 4th and 5th string Oregon quarterbacks don't have experience. While that is true, the larger problem is that they aren't good. If you are a good high school quarterback are you going to go somewhere to be 5th string? Of course not. Not even USC has 5 quarterbacks worth putting behind center. The larger question that must be asked is who was the offensive coordinator that recruited these guys? It was Gary Crowton and he is in Baton Rouge as we speak. Certainly he didn't think he would be recruiting these guys to put on the field for a right to play in the Rose Bowl. Before Duck fans start to clamor for major changes be a little realistic. No 5th string quarterback could win a game. If you are a big-time gunslinger worthy of leading a Pac-10 Championship team you're not going to take a scholarship to be 5th string.

Great Parenting

2007-11-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

I am still making every effort to get an official number on the number of people that were actually in the building for the women’s basketball game on November 15th. The paper reported 2,008 in attendance but even I know Eugene does not have that many crazy people. With the Thanksgiving weekend upon us I likely won’t get an answer until early next week. I have spoken with one person and that individual guessed the number to be very low but doubts I will be able to stay in Eugene through 2010 if I stay true to my word.

In related news there may actually be some normal parents in town. And of course, it’s how I define normal, which isn’t normal at all! Someone told me they were going to go to women’s basketball games this year because the head coach hands out an iPod to a fan every game. I can neither confirm nor deny that an iPod is actually given but I have no reason not to believe the guy. Well, come to find out this guy told his mom he was going to attend women’s basketball games just to receive an iPod. Her response was, “How much does the iPod cost? I’ll give you the money to buy one so you don’t go to women’s basketball games.” That is an excellent response from mom. Can you imagine showing mom and dad a report card they paid for with subpar grades and explaining it’s because you were watching way too much women’s basketball? That has to be what this mom was thinking when she offered up cash to go buy an iPod.

Professors Love Tenure

2007-11-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

I have a friend of a friend that was lucky enough to go the Oregon vs. Arizona football game last week. Lucky enough until the injuries mounted and the true colors of Tucson started to show. He described the place as a lot more like Tijuana than any place in the USA. I wouldn’t know but that’s not the point. My friend of a friend was there on official business so had to miss 1.5 days of school.

A couple of days before he left he sent his math professor an official letter explaining the reason for the absence. Since he was away on official university-related business it was an excused absence and any missed work is supposed to be made-up without incident. Well, that’s the way most people think but not this professor.

Professor Wendy Sullivan (shown above and imagine having to look at her for a couple of hours each week) told my friend of a friend that because he did not give her proper notice she was not going to let him take the midterm he missed. She used e-mail to explain taking the midterm was not going to happen. You may be wondering why my friend of a friend did not contact Wendy (she’s too lame to use her last name or the title of Professor) in person. Well, it’s because Wendy thinks she is MacGyver and has been on the search crew for a missing math professor. It sucks that the guy has gone missing but after he’s been missing for more than 2 weeks it’s time to get back to work and teach class. Leave the people searching to the professionals and make sure the students are getting their money’s worth.

Well, my friend of a friend had class cancelled again today so 2 weeks before finals Wendy decides to cancel class for the week and not respond to e-mail. My friend of a friend has contacted her twice this week via e-mail and attended her office hours (she did not show up) to no avail. As far as I can tell Wendy benefits greatly from the outrageous practice known as tenure in the teaching world. Only a teacher at a public university could be granted the luxury of taking incredible amounts of time off and disregard all forms of communication with students. Another thing to point out is that the UofO is on the quarter system so the class that students pay too much for only lasts 10 weeks, unless of course Wendy is the instructor.

Disclaimer: Knowing my luck with ripping people on this blog someone knows this lady and is bummed I point out the fact that she's not doing her job. I wish I could say sorry to anyone that is offended but I can't so live with it.

(Photo from UO Math Department.)

Bring In The Moving Van

2007-11-09T14:24:00.001-08:00

It has come to my attention that somebody is not smart. The University of Oregon women's basketball team plays on November 15th at 7:00pm. No, the fact that there is a game is not what makes someone stupid. Oddly enough at the exact same time the University of Oregon football team is playing at Arizona on ESPN. Who is the genius that decided it was a good idea to schedule a women's basketball game at the same time as a football game involving the #2 team in the nation? Granted, saying the Ducks would be #2 at the beginning of the season would have been laughed at but still, football is king. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks it takes an extraordinary lack of intelligence to schedule a women's basketball game at the same time as a football game. Given this stroke of brilliance from the scheduler folks I'm convinced the U of O would schedule a women's basketball game on Super Bowl Sunday if the Pac-10 would allow. For once being a part of the Pac-10 is a good thing I suppose.

How this whole thing applies to me is that I want to know if where I live is a place I could feel comfortable raising a family. After thinking about it for a couple of days I have concluded that if more than 150 people show up to watch the women's basketball game on November 15th I have no other choice but to rent a U-Haul and move before the 2010 calendar year is complete. Don't ask why I chose 2010, there really is no reason. Initially I was going to go with 50 people in attendance but decided to raise it a little bit after consulting with people that have lived their entire lives here. If someone has lived here for more than 25 years they deserve some type of reward by the way. From my vantage point I see no reason for anyone to choose watching women's basketball over seeing the #2 football team try to earn a trip to the BCS Championship game. It's the performance of the football team that allows all other sports to function so don't think you are hating on the women's basketball team by staying at home and watching football.

Upset Special: Week 10

2007-11-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

This week's pick is a dangerous one. I see this game as either being very close or a major blowout in favor of the wrong team. The big pick for this week is Alabama (+7) over LSU. Both teams are coming off bye weeks so I'm not sure who that favors if it favors anyone. I suppose if Glenn Dorsey plays then it favors LSU initially since he is dominant and was injured in LSU's last game. The game is being played in Tuscaloosa, Alabama so that has to favor Alabama. The deciding factor in this game is that I befriended an Alabama booster on our cruise this summer and I told him I would root for the Crimson Tide when given the chance. He agreed he would do the same for the Ducks so let's hope he returns the favor. In the end, if you pay a coach $4M per year to coach your team the least he could do is beat his former team in his new home stadium. Nick Saban (pictured above) receives a lot of publicity and if Alabama wins the media lovefest for Saban will only get worse. However, it will all be worth it if Oregon is able to claw out a tough victory and hopefully move up the rankings.

Season to Date: Last week was an unmitigated disaster with Stanford showing why they are known for academics and not athletics. At least in sports that matter to the average college fan. The step-brother was able to hold serve on his home field so my record has dipped below .500 yet again (4-5). I'm starting to get sick of being around .500 but would certainly love to be at that point at the end of the day today.

(Photo from Robert Sutton/AP Photo.)

The Genius Of Weis

2007-11-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

First things first, it has taken me a while to admit it but I grew up a huge Notre Dame fan. In fact, I am still a Notre Dame fan but not nearly as much of one as I was growing up. Now the Duck faithful that are fortunate enough to read this have permanently blocked this blog from their browser as a result of my liking Notre Dame but that's okay. Growing up I lived in 3 different time zones and 5 different states. In none of those places did I feel the pure hatred for Notre Dame I feel here in Oregon. I don't know what the deal is with Oregon fans hating Notre Dame but they do. It could be jealousy since Notre Dame is always the talk of the nation no matter how bad they are. Or it could be that Notre Dame is a private, Catholic school. I've learned that religion, God and the state of Oregon do not mix well at all.

Now that I've let the dirty secret out of the bag the people that are still reading this (very few I would imagine) get to actually read the true point of this post. Last week Portland State lost to Weber State by the score of 73-68. PSU's freshman quarterback, Drew Hubel, threw 9 touchdowns in his first collegiate start. After reading this today for the umpteenth time I decided to do what everyone else has been doing; check out how a player or team's stats for one game compare to those of the entire Notre Dame team over the course of the season. It should come as a surprise to no one that Notre Dame as a team has 4 touchdown passes this year in 8 games. That Charlie Weis sure is a genius! To think that this late into the season a player had more than twice as many passing touchdowns in one game than a team during the entire season is astounding. Times as a Golden Domer have not been good this year but in reality I could care less with the Ducks doing so well.

(Photo of Drew Hubel from Steve Brenner/PSU Athletics.)